Perfection ~ The Not So Perfect Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ashleemac14, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. I should probably stop giving specific days that I say I'll post by, but whatever. Here is the new update. I hope you enjoy.

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    It's the night of Natalie's party and it's a lot chillier than the weatherman predicted, figures. Sam is picking me up so that we can go together. I was more of a fan of the double car system, but he insisted and who was I turn down a free ride. I was ready and waiting for him to arrive, checking myself in the mirror one last time. My blue, shimmering dress hugged my hips, while being accentuated by the black lace-designed tights and black pumps. The dress was tight, yes, but not so tight as making it impossible for me to sit without ripping it. As I fixed one last curl, making it look perfect, I saw the lights of Sam's car as it was pulling into the driveway.

    I hear the doorbell ring, as I grab my clutch, and I answer the door. I was stopped in my tracks when I saw him. I wasn't going to lie, he looked good like sleeping in on a Monday morning good. Definitely different from the "normal" Sam I saw everyday. He was trying to impress someone at the party no doubt. He donned white skinnies and a black button up with which were paired with a white skinny tie and a pair of black hi-top Supras.

    "Wow! Looking pretty spiffy there.", I exclaimed, nudging him a little.

    "Me? Thanks, but I'm nothing compared to you. You look amazing, like a firework in the night sky.", he complimented me, his voice almost a whisper. It was like a secret no one could know except he and I.

    "Aw, thanks.", I smiled at him. His charm matched the effect his outfit had on me perfectly. I was stunned, dumbfounded, at a loss of words even, but I knew we needed to get a move on. "Let's get goin'. If we don't, we'll never make it in time."

    "You are very welcome, Taylor.", he smiled back at me, holding out his hand to help me down the stairs. How thoughtful, making sure I don't fall flat on my face. We got into his car and drove off towards the party.

    We arrived at the party about twenty minutes later. Everybody looked so nice, but Sam and I definitely out shined each and every one of them. I looked back at Sam and saw his attention was a bit preoccupied by a pretty little girl, sophomore maybe. I turned back around and started to search around for Jonas, sure enough he was over there by Natalie. She was hanging all over him, probably drunk already, but that didn't stop my legs from walking over. Think of something smart to say.

    "Hey Jonas.", I called to him.

    "Who invited you?", Natalie asked in the ugliest tone possible without sounding uncaring. She was obviously trying to impress him by using me to her expense.

    "I did.", Jonas announced.

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    To be continued I guess? I have to catch up on my writing so, I'll update when I can.

    I guess it's a long update? I can't tell

    P.S I want your criticism I can take it.
     
  2. Bump no criticism?
     
  3. And I bump again.... I'm about halfway done with the update. So maybe sooner than later, but definitely before Friday.
     
  4. I feel like I'm the only bumper in this thread I didn't finish it yet so... I'm sorry to my readers, I'll see if I can finish this weekend
     
  5. Thank you for continuing!!:) BUMP
     
  6. Naww Sam is such a cutie
     
  7. Bump please, i have been waiting for the longest
     
  8. Should be an update later tonight
     
  9. "I did.", Jonas announced. When he frowns, he looks totally different. He took the expression, "if looks could kill", to a whole other level. It scared me a little, this wasn't the same Jonas I had met. But it disappeared as quickly as it had been shown. I decided to forget about it.

    "Yeah. He did. He also invited Sam.", I added. I could see the disgust in her eyes and frankly, I just wanted to laugh in her face. Rub it in. But in no way or at any given time, will I ever stoop to her level. I'm better than that.

    She walks away, disappearing into the crowd. Jonas and I were finally alone. Well, as alone as you can be at a 300 plus person party.

    "Well, hi again.", I repeated.

    "Hey there.", he smiled, though you could still see the anger in his eyes. They smoldered the very inside of me, making it seem that I was trapped and couldn't couldn't ever get away. "Sorry for that, I didn't mean to scare you."

    I heard him talking to me and I thought I had answered him back, but no. It was just my mouth gaping open, letting out a few inaudible noises.

    "Taylor?", he questioned. He scooted closer to me and grabbed my arms. He was looking me in the eyes like I had passed out. He finally asked, "Are you ok?"

    "No.", I answered. I snapped out of my daze, finally able to talk again. He looked confused though, so I elaborated. "No. You don't scare me.", I lied. He, thankfully, didn't notice. He scared me out of my mind. It sent chills down my spine, but, for some reason, didn't care. The way he sent chills down my spine made me want to see more.

    "Oh. Well that's good. You don't scare me either.", he exuded confidence from every square inch of his body. He smiled and joked, putting his arm around my waist. I scooted closer to him, almost on top of him. People around us started to notice, so I tried to move away, but his arm was gripping me too tight. He leaned over to whisper in my ear, "No, don't. Let's give them a show.", he smirked devilishly.

    "What do yo-", I started, but was interrupted by his hard, forceful kiss on my lips. My hands pushed against his chest, not wanting this at all, but he just kept on forward. His hands started moving slowly down my back, but they were ripped away by someone. I could breathe again, as Jonas pulled away from his kiss to see who it was.

    As I caught my breath, I looked up to find Sam. He looked angry, but he had a sense of protection over him. Nothing like Jonas's frightening rage. He pushed Jonas off of me and grabbed my hand, pulling me off the couch and through the crowd. It was clear we were leaving the party and no way was I going to protest.

    Just a few minutes after we left, I looked over at him. I just wanted to thank him, but at the same time, I wondered why he did it. Sam was probably just being a good friend. I mean aren't friend supposed to help each other? In a way though, it seemed like more to me. Maybe I was just caught up in the moment of Sam's heroism. As he pulled into my driveway, I thought to myself about Sam and every little thing he did and still does for me, seems a little to friendly. For instance, him walking me to my door tonight, standing there with me in my doorway. He kept wiping his hands on his pants, he was trying to hide that he was nervous, but it didn't seem to work.

    He looked as if he was going to say something, but I just couldn't take anything more right now.

    "Goodnight Sam", I smiled as I hugged him around his neck, I felt his arms around my waist. "Thank you", I looked at him again and then I walked inside.
     
  10. I woke up on my bed, still in my dress I wore to the party. My makeup was smudged all over my damp pillow and face. I cried myself to sleep last night. The fact that I knew it was to good to be true, that Jonas just thought of me as a plaything of his own desire and want, was realized. I was just another challenge, just a game to him, and thinking about it just made me want to cry even more. Just before I was about to give into the temptation, my phone rang.

    "Hello?", I answered. I didn't really care to speak to anyone right now, but that's always when everyone calls.

    "Taylor? Did you just wake up?", the female voice asked. I didn't look to see who called until just now, seeing it was Jen brought happiness back to my voice.

    "Yeah. I was just tired like I usually am. Besides, it's not like I have anywhere to be.", I answered. I just wanted to go back to sleep and drown in my tears again. Just be alone.

    "Well, now you have something do. I want you to meet the guy I'm interested in. I also want you to tell me what you think. Also, I kinda just want another girl's opinion. Sam's coming, but it's not his opinion that matters so much.", she explained to me. I kind of wanted to meet this guy and I definitely wanted to figure out Sam's deal.

    "Ok. I'll meet him, where exactly though?", I asked. It was also good way to keep my mind preoccupied with things other than Jonas. This is what I needed right now.

    "My house. We're all gonna watch a movie, so walk in through the basement. See you there.", she practically smiled through the phone. You could hear the excitement in her voice, "Be here by 1:30!". She hung up on me and I rolled out of my warm and inviting bed.

    I stood groggily in front of my closet, staring at the clothes it held inside. I picked out a pair of dark indigo skinnies and a peach-colored, long-sleeved henley top. I laid these on my bed and went to search for a dark brown, skinny leather belt. I dropped my dress to the floor, not bothering to pick it up, and stepped out of it. I stepped into my jeans, pulling them on, and putting on my belt. I pulled my shirt over my head and brushed through my hair. I left it natural and shined my lips with gloss. Going on downstairs, I reached my shoes, slipped those on, and walked out. Jen's house was about three houses down from me on the left, so it's not like I had to go far.

    I got there early, though I saw Sam's car stopped at the intersection in the neighborhood. I caught myself smiling at him at a distance, making me look like an idiot to anyone next to me. As I walked inside the open garage leading to the entertainment room, I caught sight of someone out of the corner of my eye. His jeans looked brand new, like he bought them just for this occasion. He was grabbing something out of the fridge, making it impossible to see his face.

    "Hey. You must be Jen's friend?", I asked, trying to spark a conversation. He turned around and his light, almost golden, brown skin reflected the sunlight that spilled into the room from the windows. His hazel eyes smiled, as did he, showing off his pearly white teeth.

    "Yeah. My name's Armando, nice to meet you", he told me with a hint of an accent that made it impossible not to smile while listening to him. He was a little taller than me, but with his hair it made him seem more. His dark brown, almost black, hair peeped out of a beanie he was wearing. He looked like one of those hipster characters you see on television. His ears were gaged, but not overly excessive with huge lobes. He had the nerdy, but still cool, black rimmed glasses and his jeans were tight, but not so much to where he couldn't move. His plaid shirt completed the look perfectly, as did his tattoo that peeked out of his rolled-up sleeve. Overall, from the first impression, Jen and him could be a great fit for each other.

    After a while and everyone had gotten to know Armando, we all sat down on the black leather sectional couch. Jen picked the movie we were watching, said something about a huntsman, so I figured that new Snow White movie. She and Armando sat next to each other, though no physical signs of affection were being shown, you could see it between them. I sat next to Sam, our knees nudging each other to look over at Jen. We laughed quietly at how cutesy she was being and she gave us a quick glare.

    The movie had just started, so we got quiet and I got comfortable. I scooted closer to Sam and hugged his arm, laying on his shoulder. I could feel his breathing relax, like me next to him was what he needed. I felt my eyes growing heavy and I fought it off, watching and reacting to the movie. I felt Sam moving underneath me, moving his arm to laying it over me and I laid my head on his chest. The scent that filled me up the other day was back, making me smile and all warm inside. I was growing more and more tired with every whiff I caught, but mixed with his steady heartbeat, there was no chance. I slipped into a sleep, no longer aware of anything around me.

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    So what do you think? How'd you like it? Any suggestions to make it better?
     
  11. This is really good, just make sure you give it some twists that don't last five minutes later on in the story xD. I find that if stories are perfect for too long they become boring. NOT THAT I'M SAYING THIS STORY IS HEADED THAT WAY. Its brilliant. ^.^
     
  12. I have stuff planned out, I just have to find away to get it in there. I'm writing this as I go, don't worry you won't be disappointedhopefully
     
  13. Just read it all Its amazing
    Please wall me when you update!!
     
  14. Great! Bump 