Perfection ~ The Not So Perfect Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ashleemac14, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. So I was thinking of writing a story for quite a while. Tell me what you think of it. Constructive criticism is also appreciated.


    Have you ever thought of what your life would be like if you were popular instead of the socially awkward person you are? Well I have. My name is Taylor. Taylor Rose. I have icy eyes and beautiful curly locks. I am just a normal girl, in a normal high school.
    I have exactly two friends. There's Sam, who's the only guy that ever talks to me. I've known Sam since the good ol' days, in kindergarten, back when his hair was was almost white. Now it's a darker blonde but still just as unkept. His eyes, a deep forest green, matched his name perfectly. Then, there's Jennifer, who just moved here last year. Jen, as we call her, has dark chocolate brown, almost black, eyes and flowing brown hair with blood red tips.
    It was the first day back from Christmas break and I'm pretty sure everyone, who were still in their right mind of course, wanted Spring Break to get here. I walked into the school building from the car lot doors, only to smack someone in the face with the heavy metal door. Great!
  2. Amazing.. And why smack someone on the face wiv a metal door still.. BUMP
  3. Cause they're in the way
  5. I'd rather smack them with a door 
  6.  Oh my god! A story! Bump bump bump!
  7. Bump bump bumppity bump:)
  8. My nickname is Jen lol
  9. Yes a story. This is the fan fiction area if I'm not mistaken.
  10. And I'll update later
  11. Bump! (Story of my life!)
  12. Well I meant to update but sleep took over ill update after school.
  13. Can't see where this is going yet, but I like the start! Update!
  14. I'm just introducing characters at the momento. It's a good story, or at least I think it is but who knows I'm the writer. I'm biased
  15. Alright, new update time! Enjoy.


    "Hey! Watch where you're walking will ya!", he shouted at me. He looked new to the school.

    "Oh my God! I am so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. A-are you ok?", I managed to put together through my frantic manner. What a wonderful way to start a new year.

    "Yeah", he paused,"I'm fine. Just chill out before you have a heart attack or something. What's your name?". Wow. He has to be new if he doesn't know who I am. The laughing stock of the entire school. I snapped back to reality as I saw his hands waving in front of my face. "Hello? Are you still here?", he asked me, as if I was a child.

    "Yeah. I'm here. My name? It's Taylor. What's your's?" I blurted out immediately. I didn't want to give the new kid anymore reasons not to like me. After what I did to his face, zoning out probably wasn't the best idea. Since he had removed his hands from covering his face, I could see the damage I had afflicted. Besides the busted, bloodied lip, he was pretty good looking, in that Abercrombie and Fitch male model way. He had blonde, slightly curly hair with hints of light brown in the mix. He had eyes like an ocean, that made you want to drown yourself in them all day long.

    "My name is Jonas. Nice to meet you."

    "Nice to meet you, too but, I really think you should get that looked at or at least put some ice on it.", I told him while I referenced my lips, meaning his. His hand went immediately to his swollen boxer lip.

    "Ok, I'll go but, only because you want me to.", Jonas kidded. He started to walk off in the wrong direction. I stayed where I was, waiting to see if he would turn around. He stopped in the middle of the hall and turned back, a part of me sort of relieved. What was this?
  16. Ah, true love!
  17. It doesn't indent!! Well then.
  18. Yeah, that part's annoying. Bump!!