We walked through the large, glass lunchroom to see "Welcome Back Students" on the wall of windows. It was painted in the school colors. I also noticed that the tables had been moved into a different arrangement, it was a lot more open. The scent of pizza and corn wafted through the air. It was almost sickening. There is so much more they can serve, but no. I got some anyway because I was hungry. I grabbed my water and got in line to pay. Jen led the way to one of the booths on the back wall and we sat down. I was trapped inside by Jen sitting beside me and Sam across from me. That's when I saw Jonas in the pay line. Jen must have seen too because her jaw dropped as he started to walk over to our table. I leaned over and murmured, "Close your mouth or you'll catch flies." She immediately closed her mouth. As Jonas got closer, Sam got more visibly uncomfortable. "Hey, are you alright?", I asked him, my hand on his arm. "Yeah, I'm fine.", he retorted, a little to quickly. I could tell he was lying. "Are you sure?", I asked again, giving him another chance. Jonas started walking over to our table from the condiment station. "Yeah. I'm sure. Oh. Look. Here he comes now.", he said sarcastically. Why would he do this? What happened to make him act like this? "Can I sit here?", Jonas vocalized over the noise of the cafeteria. "Sure. Sit by Sam.", I told him. Sam looked unhappy and unsuccessfully trying to hide it. "Do you have a problem with him being here?", I stared straight at Sam. "I don't, if you don't", Sam claimed. Jonas sat down at the table but, Jen didn't waste any time. Barraging him with question after question. "Where you from? Do you drive? What's your favorite color? Do you play sports? Favorite food? Favorite band?", Jen rapidly fired, right as he took a bite of his pizza. "Jen!", I shot her a look. After he swallowed his food,"It's ok.", he laughed a little and responded,"Tennessee. Yes. Red. Baseball. Chicken Fingers. I'm not really a band person." He answered every question and it kept Jen quiet. After a while of silence, he got up to take his tray. I looked back at Jen, who looked like she had one to many cups of coffee, and to Sam, who looked just the opposite. Jealous even. Jonas was walking back to the table but, he got stopped by Natalie. They talked then, all the sudden, she hugged him. She ran off to her little cookie cutter, robotic friends. After that, he continued to walk casually back over to our table. As soon as he got back, Sam and Jen got up and took their trays. Well thanks guys. Silence swept over me, I didn't just want to say it. He would probably think differently of me, that I'm not the collected girl he met. I finally worked up the nerve, "So, what were you and Natalie talking about?", I blabbed. I probably just sounded extremely jealous. I mean, there really wasn't anything to get jealous of, yet or probably never now. "Oh. You saw that? It was nothing, just an invitation to a party this weekend. Do you want to go? Well, you and your friends, of course.", he explained. He didn't catch it. I was grateful. Last thing I want to do is make myself look stupid. Not like it hasn't happened before. "Are you kidding? Of course. It's one of the best parties of the year!", I exclaimed. "See you there then.", he winked and got up to leave. It was time to go back to class. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Tell me what you think and what I can do better. I crave your creative criticism.
The biggest party of the year and I've been invited. Well, me and my friends. This almost never happens to us. Well, I take that back, this never happens to us. All because Jonas invited us. Maybe we did connect back there. School was finally over and as I was walking to the parking lot, I ran into Sam. A smile comes across his face as he sees me. It's the first real one I've seen him show all day. "Hey", he said softly. "Hey. I just wanted to se-", I started but he cut me off. "Look. I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier. I didn't mean to come across that way.", he explained. "Um. It's ok. I just wanted to know if you wanted to come to a party." "Who's?" "Natalie's" "Sweet. We're going to Natalie's party? Wow, talk about keeping your enemies closer." "So, is that a yes?" "I guess so" "Good. I'll text Jen and ask her if she wants to go too. After all, Jonas invited all of us.", I added. The smile immediately was wiped off his face. I shouldn't have said that. He waved goodbye and walked off to his car. Jonas walked up behind me, as if on cue. I saw Sam looking at me from his car as he was driving off. He looked sullen, like a puppy who had been kicked over and over. "Hey, are you waiting for someone?", he asked me, grazing my arm a little with his hand. His touch shocked me, it was cold. Almost uncaring even, like it was more forced. It set me back, completely different from the look on Jonas's face showing compassion. To be honest, it scared me a little. Dangerous but, I liked it. "Well, I was waiting for Jen's practice to let out so I could ride with her.", I answered, staring him right in the eyes. I was trying to read them but, it was nearly impossible. Must be from baseball, learning to hide your plays. He must have been a pitcher, either that or he plays poker extremely well. "Why don't I just take you instead?" "Jen might get upset, I guess I could text her." "Ok. Let's go then.", he said. He led me over to a red Dodge truck complete with all the accessories. It was new, right off the lot maybe. His family must be loaded with cash. Either that, or he robbed a bank. I got in and he drove me home.
So I was wondering if this is going to be a supernatural thing?? And I liked the way his touch was cold haha XD no compassion.... anyways bumpity bump to next bump that makes you update again ^-^
Its Exellent i would bump and on my scale its a 8 1/2 out of 10 only because it remind me a fair bit of the Twilight saga
Thank you 2nd page bump. I'm planning to update either tomorrow or the day after that depending on when it's complete.
Ok so I know I said I'd update by today but I've got tons of work to do. Update by tomorrow for sure.
Heeheehee. βυμρ Okay, so where shall I start. Yes this reminds me lots of two certain guys that I know you know so I can kinda see where the story will hit a critical point or two. Its up to you whether or not to twist it. Secondly, I really like all the description, especially when commenting on the eyes, then again the eyes are the windows to the soul. I admit I laughed and liked when you talked about Natalie's evil eyes. Thirdly, overall a good, maybe even great story. Now I know why you have how Taylor feels when against Sam and when against Jonas. Its comparing the two and leaves one to think how it will actually play out. I can see this is not a simple Girl-Meets-Boy or Girl-Falls-For-Best Friend story. And lastly I will tease you about the twilight part cause you were the one to mention the ice cold skin even though I know it's in no way supernatural. Maybe supernatural detailing or maybe even a dream/day dream sequence, but in no way is it going to be a scifi/fantasy story xD Anyways I can't wait to read another page or two. Keep on writing Luv.