Love Troubles

I'm not sure if one thing Imma say in this update is actually a fact, but... Ehhhhhh!

~~~~Love Troubles~~~~

Michael's POV

I wake up to the nurse checking Ally's vitals. They do that at night. She looks over at me, slightly smiles and shakes her head, then walks out the door. I'll have to be sure to get that nurse's name I think, as I smile and kiss Ally's cheek. She opens her eyes slightly and clears her throat. "Hey Love," she says, kinda raspy "Good morning Sleeping Beauty!" I reply. "She realizes that I had gotten into the bed and says, "Baby, I love you snuggling with me, but I don't want you to get in trouble..." I give her a sad smile and scoot of the bed to go and kneel on the other side. "I'm gonna be out for a bit today, but I'll be sure to be back tonight. Ok?" I slowly say. She nods yes, then her face shows pain. "What's wrong?" She whispers, "I'm sorry..." And presses a button that I know gives her more morphine. "Oh Baby, that's ok. I'll head out now then. Want me to wake Alex?" I cautiously ask. "No that's ok...." She says sleepily. "Alright Love. See you later."

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I call up a friend of mine and ask to speak with his father. "Uhhhh.... Ok?" He replies, confused, then puts his father on. "Yes, Mr.Wattson? I uh, I have a question to ask. A law question." I start. "Yes, yes? Go on," he says, curious. "Well.... Ally is in the hospital. And I'm kinda worried for her. I know I should think positive but.... I don't think she's doing too well. And..." I take a deep breath "AndIkindawanttomarryher?" I say in a rush. He laughs and says, "I couldn't understand you, son." "I kinda... Want to marry her?" I say again, more slowly. "Hmm.... How old are you both?" "I'm 17 sir, and she's 16. In about two weeks we'll be aging." I say the last part hastily. "Well... Do you think you can wait til then? It would be fine then, you would be 18 and she would be just a year younger." He slowly replies. "Well..... If she'll be conscious and her mind is present, sure," I haltingly respond. "Well Son, you'll be all set!" He says happily. You can hear his smile. "Thank you so much sir!" I exclaim, before hanging up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I go out to buy the ring for Amy. I know the hospital is willing to have the wedding there so she doesn't have to leave. And she can have a dress and all. I just need to pick a ring. I search and search. I finally decide to walk up to the counter. "May I help you?" The perky lady asks. "Yes, I'm looking to buy a wedding ring for my soon-to-be fiancé. I proudly reply. "Ahh! Do you know her ring size?" She asks. Lucky for me I had one of her rings that she gave me put on a chain... I take the ring off the chain and hand it to her. She smiles, then shows me several beautiful rings in that size. "Hmm... I don't want it too simple..." I say pointing to two. "And I don't want it too elaborate..." I say again pointing to 3 more. "I'm down to two," I state. One is a blue stone in the center with two smaller diamonds on either side. The other is a blue stone cut into a heart shape. "I think I like... That one" I say, pointing to the heart one. "Great choice!" The last responds. I look at the tag. $150 Luckily her mother allowed me to use their checking account... I write her a check, pre signed by Amy's mother, and hand it to her. "Sorry... I'm kinda using her mother's checking account. She said I could-" I start, but the girl laughs and waves me off. "Go one and have a great day, sir!" She exclaims as I walk towards the door. "You too, miss," I say with a smile.

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Ugh.... I do hope this turned out ok ._.
 
Aww a wedding :) a nice little turn to the story. I'm wondering, did Ally contract the virus from somewhere. Keep it up, Cat..you got fans girl lol
 
Okay so this story is great, but just try to space it out a little, the huge paragraphs are harder to read, when someone else starts to talk you need to start an entirely new line.
Ex.
"Hey Ally" He said.

"Hello" Ally said.

And every time don't say, He said or she said.
Ex.
"Hey Ally" he looked at me with a worried expression.

"Hello" I mumbled cautiously.

But good story! And I'm not trying to be mean but be careful not to copy other stories ?
 
I haven't read one like this  sorry. And I find it not professional looking to do those spaces. Cuz like, in a book it wouldn't be that way. Plus, I was trying to not say "he said she said" a lot but I felt like **** and I just didn't care
 
I'm using ideas that come to my head. I don't think about what I've read. Maybe for like, how to set up POV and that but not actual story Ideas
 
Actually, in books they do that... Every time a person speaks they start a new line, they might not have the spaces but they most definitely start a new line, and well I'm just saying be careful, that's why I try not to read too many stories in fan fiction so I don't accidentally copy them 
 
Hmm. The books I read don't do that. ._.

And thanks /.\ I'm not meaning to copy. But not every single rl story is completely unique either...
 
Exactly! And that's fine it's your story  It's just you said criticism is welcome so I just wanted to give some helpful stuff ? But it is a great story 
 
Week yeah! I appreciate it. I hadn't realize I was kinda copying another's story /.\ and I'm just trying to think about if I would want to do the lines between the dialog thingy. I think that would be hard on me, considering I am not a very experienced writer /.\
 
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