Most Idiotic Things You've Ever Heard

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,So I could have a new one everyday.
 
"I wish there weren't different times zones! I want to travel to Paris but time travel can mess with your head!"


/).- Are you effing kidding me?
 
"To be or not to be, this is Sparta"

"My favorite number is cheese in the whole alphabet"

"Remember, goats are mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters"

That's all I know for now :p
 
Friend- Hey, bestie!

Girl-Hey.

Friend- My mom made stroodles.

Girl-Great.

Friends Mom- -looks like a female drunk rapper doing an insane rap pose-
Eh, What up homie?

Girl- Homie? I thought we was friends.
I don't live on your roof.

Friend- Mom! Don't embarrass me!

Girl- Uh huh, look who's talking.

Friend- Omg, I can't believe your saying this to me, I thought we were together!

Girl- Together as what? Slow your mouth chicka.

Friend- Dont use your street on me!

Girl- I don't own a street, I own a 2.3 million dollar house, what do you expect.

Friend- -cries and runs to room-

Girl- -eats the stroodles-
What is up with your kid.

Mom- Eh, she's my daughter, though she's a total sod.

-2 hours later-

Friend- Hey bestie!

Girl- -walks away-
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just hate it when my friends friends think that they will always have these "prissiness"for a friend. You need someone calm, dude.
 
This kid in my PE class:Marcus! I can't believe you hit a girl on the head with the dodge ball!

Marcus:It was an accident!

Teacher:You're an accident.

Class:
 
Husband: Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents

Hope it works  if it doesn't bang hehe jks
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top