It's Not Me, It's You

Hulk said:
Here's mine:

Dear Karen

Fùck you, I’ve had enough, you beautiful shítthead. I’ve had enough of your crazy shít. I’m not talking about the great times we’ve had, the lovely times, when we’d spend the whole day messing around and end up sweaty and exhausted and high on each other’s fumes.

I’m talking about how after all the time and money I’ve spent, you continue to bleed me dry. I’m talking about all the bullshít busywork you have me doing, going to bat for you, advocating on your behalf, talking to all my friends like a fùcking Amway salesman, just to try and get them to enjoy you as much as I do - for what! For the extra hassle of dragging our asses out to some joint where even your hosts don’t really respect you, just so we can all hang around and pretend it’s like the old days.

It’s not like the old days. You used to be beautiful and hard-nosed and sharp-witted. You used to reward your suitors, the diligent, the creative, the crazy. Now you’re just a washed-up old madam, saying “yeah yeah yeah” over and over again as the desperate, junkies for your dried-up affections, cling to your legs and fight to get their hands under your skirt.

I’m done with you. My friends are done with you - actually, my friends were done with you a long time ago; I just didn’t notice it. Every time I mentioned that I was going to be out with you, they would check their schedules and “try” to make it. And mostly they would just stay away.

Sure, when they made it out, they’d say really nice things. And - I have to believe - most of the time, they meant it. “That was great.” “You guys sounded awesome.” And all the rest. That’s just the kind of ego sustenance that keeps bad relationships together. Was it great enough for them to introduce you to new people? Was it enough for them to do the simplest things to show support for our relationship? Sure, it’s fùcking frustrating that these were the same people who used to ask me over and over: “how come we don’t see you two together more?” And I’m sure when they find out I’ve dumped you, they’ll look really sad and start telling me to get back in the game. But actions speak louder than words. It means something when all your friends say “it’s so great that you’re seeing each other” but then never follow that with “when can we all hang out?”

I can’t keep putting time and money into you while you do everything you can to destroy yourself. Sure, we can still hang out. Sure, we can still get down together. You’re part of me, part of my soul, and when we’re intimate together, it’s close to the divine. It’s touching the fabric of the universe. But I’m tired of being your champion while you whore yourself out. You used to be a high-class honeypot. Now you’re just a sucker’s bet for chump change.

Yeah, it’s about the fùcking money. Hasn’t it always been about the money? Doesn’t money destroy more relationships than anything else? Sèx and money. You got me plenty of sèx and just not enough money. But it’s not only the money, of course - as much as it’s always about the money, it’s never about just the money. It’s about all the time and effort that money represents. It’s about broken promises and wasted hopes. You’re a beautiful fùcking mistress, the kind that gives men on your arm to sporting weary smiles, and everyone says, ‘man you are so lucky she’s wearing you out like that.’ And the men on your arm think, ‘yeah, so lucky. God, get me the fùck out of here.’

But they can’t quit you. And lord knows, I still love you. But loving you and being with you are two different worlds. You and I can do better than this, Karen. We can do beautiful things together in the privacy of our own togetherness - but taking it out together in public: holy shít what a clusterfùck that’s become. It’s always a hassle to be out with you, karen, and no amount of pretty applause or kind compliments is going to change that. Because at the end of the night, I’m always cleaning up your crap. I’m always hawking your dubious charms like some cheap salesman. I’m always putting all the effort into our dates, and even when we have a magical evening, it’s the same slop bucket at 2:00 am.

It’s not your fault. I know I didn’t catch you in your prime. I know that if I were just a little more devoted to you, things might be better between you and I - isn’t that what everyone in an abusive relationship says? Still, I don’t fault you. You’re a gorgeous jewel whose facets are alive, and gaze right into one’s soul. But you hang around with a shítty crowd. Your devotees are lovesick junkies. Your friends are too-slick hucksters. Your lovers all have the same disease. You borrow self respect and return debt and longing.

I still want you, if only I can have you my own way, and to myself.

Fùck off,

Hulk
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I didn’t read cuz it’s tooo long
 
You'll have noticed I'm gone by now. Don't worry- I took the dog, too. I know you never cared much for him. By now, I should be on a plane out of the country. There's no one to blame, really. It's not that I ever fell out of love with you, nor was it something you did or did not do. It was simply time for me to leave, move on and explore new things. It was never in my nature to stay in one place; mortgage a home, have kids, holidays around a big family table... I never wanted those things. For you- I tried. I made sacrifices, got a 'steady' job like you wanted. It was a beautiful few years, but the world was calling. And you were just so content to sit on the couch and watch it on a screen. I may never find what I'm looking for, but I hope, one day, you find it all.
-Me
 
Kind/Sensitive:
"Hello, how are you doing? I know we haven't talked that much these days and we are quite distant. For the past 5 years we've been together, I found out things about myself, learned new things, grew up as the man I am today and became a better person compared to the person I am 5 years ago. You taught me a lot of things and I am thankful because of that, really thankful. All those memorable moments good or bad I will treasure them, dearly. Right now, eventho we have been in love all these years I think we need to grow individually, meet more people and know more about ourselves. If fate permit us, we'll meet again. I loved you."

Resentful:
"We were something, we were happy and was so in love. You've let me go, so please don't expect me to chase after you. No, I will never. I gave you everything I have and you gave me nothing but conditional love. You don't even call that love. You're just lonely and needed someone to give you that attention. News flash, I ain't that someone anymore. You can go ahead and hoe around all you want but don't you ever come back when those people won't give you enough love that I've given you. Bye."
 
Victoria said:
You'll have noticed I'm gone by now. Don't worry- I took the dog, too. I know you never cared much for him. By now, I should be on a plane out of the country. There's no one to blame, really. It's not that I ever fell out of love with you, nor was it something you did or did not do. It was simply time for me to leave, move on and explore new things. It was never in my nature to stay in one place; mortgage a home, have kids, holidays around a big family table... I never wanted those things. For you- I tried. I made sacrifices, got a 'steady' job like you wanted. It was a beautiful few years, but the world was calling. And you were just so content to sit on the couch and watch it on a screen. I may never find what I'm looking for, but I hope, one day, you find it all.
-Me
Click to expand...
Oml this is too beautiful thank you
 
DEAR LOVE OF MY LIFE, (At least that’s what ya like to call yourself 🤷‍♂️)

Is it hot in here or is this relationship suffocating me? I just can't take the bad s*x anymore. I'll always remember last night, but I think we can forget about tomorrow. Roses are red, Violets are blue. Garbage is dumped, now so are you. Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years? I now pronounce you dumped and single. You may now kiss my a**. You're perfect in every way, just not for me.It's not you...it's your taste in music. Hey baby, are you being followed? Because I've been seeing people behind your back. Maybe this is not the right time for us. Really, our time together has just become more effort than you're worth. I wish I could say you were the most special person in the world, but you're not. You care too much about the KKK...Kim Kourtney & Khloe. Roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and so were you... but now the roses are wilted the violets are dead the sugar bowls empty and so is your head. We're just at different points in our lives. I just can't handle the distance....Sorry. Maybe we're not compatible"

Yours Truly,
DA MAN YOU NEVER HAD

PS. Do not reply
 
It has been 6 years and you still haven't returned the nude.

Janelle, I don't know what it is about us that made you disengage so much from me. There were so many times in our relationship that I thought about leaving you and that I thought you would leave me. But also so many moments when I thought "we will cherish this memory together for the rest of our lives"...

But I now know what won in the end.

Do you remenber our first meeting on Habbo Hotel, when I was in the pool and you saw my vasectomy scar, and then I pulled you into the pool to try to murder you because you had been laughing, or when I later bought you a drink to apologize because I didn't realize that you had been laughing in stead at my shirt that said "Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side"
Our shared sense of humour for dark jokes like that is what really endeared my towards you.

I like to think of that first meeting as a metaphor for our relationship.

After that I asked for your MySpace, and you gave it to me. And when I was reading it, I learnt so much about you. I felt like I could trust you with everything, especially the fact that I had carried out the vasectomy on myself to honour Germaine Greer.

My devotion is one thing that my mother always said was my strongest suit. When we had to move away from school, it was my devotion to my family that got me through the struggles, the hunger, the times we had to run from the police, and to reach The Sanctuary. We loved the sanctuary. But regardless, my love of Germaine Greer, family, human hair collection, and of you, my dear Janelle, encouraged me to be supportive despite the dangers.

I know that compared to me, you are gutless. You are not committed, devoted, and you have no purpose in life. On your myspace you said you had a dog but you did not keep them around with you on Habbo Hotel! This is why, when I sent you that message, you declined to respond. You blocked me for fear at the time of judgement. My mother and elder brother would be ashamed of you!

You have never read a word of Germaine Greer, you uncultured swowl.

That was meant to be the first day of the rest of our lives but you left me distraught and hopeless. Never had my devotion been betrayed, not even when my elder brother took my mother for his wife.

You have problems to sort out. Life to live. Experiences to have. You will come back when you are mature enough.
 
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