Dear Dr. Foot, The warden (aka my wife in real life) is on a rampage. Lots of yelling kids scattering and me hiding in the bathroom while seeking your advice. What should I do? Should I help clean the house, just start yelling at the kids?( I'll make something up) or just stay quiet and continue hiding in the bathroom feigning stomach problems? Please help!!!!
You may need a convincing smell if you continue to pretend to have stomach problems. Dr foot may need to do a house call on this one
Ditch the only way out of this is to tell your wife that her sister has been coming on to you it will deflect from the current situation and will make a divide in her family that also helps at Xmas time less presents to buy
Keep the woodpecker in a nice warm cave it is its natural habitat it's probably suffering from some form if woodpecker depression from lack of use perhaps stroke/pat the woodpecker I'm sure this will work in no time
Dr. Foot, I can't disobey a woman's command, no matter what they asked me to do...last week in the bushes I was sexually assaulted, like Jopo. Btw, he said he's paying for this.