Bump! •Make sure that you don't switch from the future-past. (Says-Said) •Try to use comma's instead of 'And' all the time. • Instead of saying said try using ' Shouted, Mumbled' Thing like that. But still a great story! Well done. Going to read gone now
Insert a line break everytime somebody new speaks. E.g: "Hello" He said to me, smiling "Umm..hey" I said back
Yay! I finished gone and you can now read War Of The Farlanders which is the final book of the series!