Please keep writing this, I like how it started. Yes there's some mistakes but please don't let other peoples criticisms keep you from finishing a story
I never said that, none of us have. When we give critisizm that means we like the story enough to want it to get better.
"Zoe...." I heard his deep voice say. I ran into his arms and stayed there until I heard Ssssssss. It was a mutant snake (idk I just couldn't think). I almost fainted as Jake dragged me away from the beast. I smelt like a beast with fleas. A bunch of snakes attacked us and nearly killed until she arrived. She was as white as a ghost and she had strong fangs. Her eyes were black and she was wearing red. She was a goth. Even worse: a vampire. She dragged Jake - who still had hold of me away. When we were away from the snakes, I heard Jake say the name Raven. "Raven, thank you for..." I nearly finished the sentence until she dived on me. She nearly killed me. Boy, could she fight. She looked so eager to kill me. "Break it up!" I heard a skeleton say. "Yes sir!" said Raven as she ran into the vampire den. "Young wolf, follow me" he said as I followed him into the wolf den. "How am I a wolf?" I asked suspiciously. "Rex bitten you" he said Rex was a blood-thirsty wolf with a mean heart. "stay out of his way." I heard Jake say before he walked into the zombie camp. I felt like killing this 'Rex' but how?