-- There was the transporter, lounging about next to what he thought was a half-decent disguise for a transporter, when in reality it was something truly pitiful. A telephone stall. Really. The coated red paint was beginning to peel off, and one of the panels was broken. But again, this was an illusion. The bad thing about it was that it stood out from all of the high tech equipment/decoration in Mercia that everybody stared at it. Even now there was a small child pointing to it. "... Hey, Bubba. Um... Since when did you move the Transporter to somewhere so... crowded?" The elf stared at the two for a long moment before gasping in recognition. "BLAISEY-BABY! Oh, that'sjustasillyillusionspellwhatevs," And he jumped on Blaise, hugging her with skinny arms. While doing so, the illusion faded and revealed an abandoned warehouse, making both Blaise and Ly blink in surprise. Bubba's illusionist skills have really increased the last time she and him met... "You're going to kill me, Bubba." "Oh hush, youz." And he kept squeezing her. "..." Until Ly decided he didn't want a filthy creature touching Blaise. So he grabbed Bubba by the shoulders, swung him around, and dropped him onto the ground. The shield and sword Bubba equipped made a loud 'clang' noise as it fell onto the pavement next to him. "What was that fo-" Bubba rubbed his head and stared at what he thought was a god before wiping his eyes. Those shiny blue orbs had this mysterious air around him... And using his indentification skills, Bubba... well, identified him. And in his little bingo book, Ly was a sexy motherfucker. AKA a damned sex symbol. "... Ahem." That was, until Blaise snapped her fingers and woke Bubba up from his little happy place. "Ly, this is Bubba Williams the Fifth. Bubba, this is Lysander." Ly only arched his eyebrow and stared. Bubba, however, had sparkles in his eyes. "Oh, shucks. Just call me Bubs." Blaise only glanced at Bubba with wide eyes before coughing again. "Bubba, we need to use the transport—" "Shush, Blaisey-bear. No need to say anything." Ly silently fumed. HE was the only one allowed to call Blaise by her favorite nickname. The silent rage caught nobody's attention, and he was thankful for it. Although... "Here's the transporter—" He crossed his arms and huffed. "Eh... What's wrong, Lysie-wysie?" This time, it was Blaise's turn to arch her eyebrows. "Ugh. Bubs..." Bubba's eyes gleamed. "Do us a favor and skip the introduction..." Ly leaned down and cupped his face in his hands. "And skip right to the point." His husky breath lingered for a moment, causing Bubba to faint. The peppermint and smokey flavor was all part of Ly's little act... And it worked perfectly. Slipping his hands into Bubba's pocket, he took out his wallet and the device needed for the transport. "Anyway... Let's go, Blaisey-kins." And so he dragged the worried Blaise inside the telephone stall, ignoring her constant banging and shouts on the inside, and pressed the shiny red button before zapping to somewhere else. And Bubba only lay there unconscious, dreaming about his prince floating away with him together to live in a rainbow-colored world, forever and ever and EVER. -- "What was that for?!" "Huh?" "Bu—" "Oh hush. The damn elf can teleport himself here." "... You do have a point." And they continued to walk. The forest they were in only lead to the entrance of a village filled with all sorts of creatures. Trees were purple and if you even inhaled the fumes the toxic fuchsia mushrooms create, you'd die from poisoning. INTENSE poisoning. Like having your skin melt, pop, all sorts of undesirable things. And BECAUSE of this, Blaise had to generate a force field surrounding them both. "... Bleh. Purple's such an ugly color." "I think it'd look nice on you." "Psh. As if. I'll stick with neon green. Unless someone rips my armor apart in a battle, I'll wear purple." "You sure are confident about your armor..." "Hell yes! I'd be damned if my armor ever broke." "... Suuuurrreee." Ly glanced at the bag she carried. There was a small hole on the side, but that didn't really matter. Clanging noises indicated that her armor was in there, pieces of it anyway. Although the regeneration skill she had did come in handy. "... You sure the villagers won't mind if we wear civilian-like clothes?" "Just change them. Yeesh. I mean, your jeans are already part of your battle suit. Who cares? You can just wear a raggedy vest and a tattered shirt and a cloak. I, on the other hand, prefer to wear my armor since THIS IS THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE THING I'VE EVER WORN IN MY ENTIRE GODDAMN LIFE." Ly rubbed his ears and stared at Blaise's clothing. Completely white. But her ripped jeans made up for it... "... But I don't have a cloak." "That's why I brought ours! God, you are so forgetful..." "..." Ly didn't dare speak. Unless he wanted to be hit, that is. Although he was pretty sure the hits would hurt more, considering that the chances that she might be on her period were pretty high. "... Ow!" Ly glanced at her leg. The spot where her jeans was ripped was beginning to stain, the crimson red fluid dripping onto the sphere like a puddle. "How did y—" "I think it was my dagger..." And it was. Poking out of the bag she brought was a small knife. And all it took was their giant sphere of death killing about fifty inhabitants on that path to the village. You could even see purple squirrel and rabbit corpses behind them, all flattened out. -- Ly stood near the gates, trying to look like a shady merchant of sorts. And it didn't work, so he shriveled up in a ball to pretend that he was homeless. "Are you DONE yet?!" "Yep." Blaise walked out, all coaked and ready. Ly stood up, gave a small "Tch" and grabbed her by the waiat and hauled her up bridal style. "What the hell are you doing?!" "You already bandaged your leg, but I'm pretty sure it still stings, so I'm doing you a favor. Now hush." Blaise stayed quiet. Ly had a poker-face on the entire time, while she only blushed and fumed. Who was he to boss her around?! "Is this your favorite restaurant?" Blaise nodded. The sign had a donkey carrying waffles on its back. Ly sighed and walked in, surprised when he saw a whole shelf filled with alcohol, and a bunch of women in revealing and matching clothing huddled in a corner talking about a stupid topic he didn't care to know about. Men were getting drunk on the side, laughing. Blaise kicked him in the shin and dropped onto the floor before walking to the bartender, leaving Ly hissing on spot. "Blaise!" "Hey!" The humanoid with slight wolf-like features kissed Blaise on the cheek and hugged her gently before putting down his tray and cloth. "What can I get ya?" "Oh, just a minute..." Blaise turned her back and stared at Ly, who was crossing his arms and giving a huff. "Come here, ya giant lump!" Ly, while hunched, walked over to her and sat down on one of the stools. "What do you want? They've got spaghetti, waffles, all sorts of delicious human stuff you've always wanted to taste." Ly brightened and grabbed the menu. "Oh... wow." And he ordered two pancakes, three waffles, one giant plate spaghetti, two pieces of chicken legs, five sausages, two eggs, a giant strip of bacon, and a large glass of soda. Blaise, on the other hand, chose a small plate of spaghetti and a medium glass of soda. The bartender or waitress or whatever he called himself walked away into the kitchen, handed the notepad to the chef and walked back to the counter, wagging his tail and started a conversation with Blaise about something Ly really didn't care about. "..." And when the bell rung, the bartender/waitress walked back into the kitchen and grabbed EVERYTHING they ordered and carried it above his heads, and setting it down without flinching. Blaise only laughed and clapped her hands, making Ly feel a slight pang of jealousy. "Hmph." -- ._. DID I KEEP YOU ALL WAITING? >:3
What the SquidKid doesn't understand is that I don't have a cult. Fuckin' chicken ramen will make you story perfect.