Thinking of You

Part 63: Chloe's Point of View

Zach quickly shot up. He had a very worried look on his face. "I uh. W-we. W-we uh. B-but. Uhh.." He looked at me with scared eyes. "C-Chloe. We h-haven't.." He looked down at my stomach and lightly touched his fingers to it. "But how?" He whispered.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. And neither could anyone else. Everyone burst out laughing. I kissed his cheek and smiled at him. "I'm just kidding."

Zach stood there glaring at me with crossed arms. He stuck out his bottom lip and pouted. "That wasn't funny."

I leaned forward and lightly kissed his lips. "That.. was hysterical." He smiled a little bit.

"You scared the crap out of me." Zach joined in with our laughter laughing himself. His face looked like a ghost when I said it.

The funniest part is that everyone was in on the joke, except for him. Which made it even funnier. His mom actually gave me the idea. She told me, "Honey, go make a speech after we all say grace, and end it with 'Happy Father's Day Zach'." She encouraged me because she wanted to see his reaction. It was like a confused/scared sh*tless combination.

Zach leaned over and kissed my cheek, but his lips lingered toward my ear. "You're a jerk." He whispered. I stuck my tongue out at him and he smiled. "You better watch where you stick your tongue baby. I'll bite it." He winked as a happy chuckle escaped his lips.

Our attention was called back to the table when Ali cleared her throat. She had been laughing along with all of us. She raised her glass, to offer a toast.

"Now, as funny as that was, Zach congratulations on not being a Dad.. yet. And as Chloe said, thank you Colin, for being such an amazing dad. To all of your children. Josh included. So thank you Colin." Everyone raised their glasses and touched them together.

I felt Zach's hand slide onto my knee, where my hand was resting under the table. A small smile spread across my lips. I looked over and saw an almost identical smile of Zach's lips. He's so adorable.

I looked across the table and saw Emily take a drink of her red wine. We actually got along now, she can be nice. When she wants to be. But, she's normally nice to me.

Conversations quickly started across the table. I looked over at Ali and smiled. "So Ali, when can we expect little children running around?" She gave a small, faint smile. A fake smile.

"About that.."

 

I apologize for not posting at all yesterday. 

 

Part 64: Ali's Point of View

I decided to go to Zach's house with Josh for Father's Day, my Dad went to Ireland. I have no idea why. I thought now would be a good time to make a speech and thank Colin (Zach's Dad) for everything he has done. For everyone.

I cleared my throat and stood up, to get everyone's attention. I felt my cheeks start to turn red, I was ever much of a public speaker. I raised my glass to let everyone know I was going to make a toast.

"Now, as funny as that was, Zach congratulations on not being a Dad.. yet." I saw Chloe turn to Zach and smirk. His cheeks turned red and he nudged her shoulder. "and as Chloe said, thank you Colin, for being such an amazing dad. To all of your children. Josh included. So thank you Colin." Everyone raised their glasses and touched them together.

Conversations quickly started across the table. I sat down and looked across the table to see Chloe smiling at me. "So Ali, when can we expect little children running around?" I tried to put a small smile on my face, but it was fake.

"About that.." Josh's eyes met mine, they were filled with sadness. He really wanted to be a Dad. "I uhm. I can't have kids." Everyone's eyes shot up. They were all staring at me. Chloe's eyes immediately widened.

"Oh my gosh! Ali.. I-I'm so sorry. I had no idea." I just nodded. There wasn't really much to say. I felt Josh's hand rest on my knee, trying to make me feel better. Chloe looked at me again with a shy look on her face. "If you don't mind my asking.. Why?"

I cleared my throat, my eyes were starting to water. I couldn't have children and it was all my fault. My voice came out weak, this is the first time anyone had ever heard this. Besides Josh of course.

"Uhm.. When I was in middle school, before I moved here, I uhm.. I had really bad self-esteem and self-image. I uh, when I was in 6th grade, I started my period and I hated myself every time it came. I would get bloated and feel fat. I already felt fat enough. So I uhm.. I stopped eating. My periods went away and I started dropping weight. My parents found out about my eating disorder at the end of 7th grade, they sent me to a treatment facility. I'm 100% better now, but I haven't had my period since 6th grade. Josh and I went to the doctor's office last month and my doctor told me that I'll never have it again." I felt my throat start to swell up and tears were really pushing at my eyes, trying to escape. "So I uh, I'll never be able to have children. But, if I do, there's a 90% chance that I won't uhm.. That I won't make it.."

 

Part 65: Josh's Point of View

"Excuse us." I took Ali's hand and led her upstairs to my room. She sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands. I sat next to her and pulled her into my arms. Her whole entire body was shaking as tears rolled down her cheeks, one by one.

She was breathing hard, through her sobs. Ali buried her head into my chest. My shirt started to get wet. I just sat there rubbing her back. "I-I'm so sorry Josh, I k-know how much you wanted to be a Dad. This is all my fault."

I did really want to be a Dad, but not if it meant losing Ali. "Shh, hun. It's not your fault." She shook her head and looked up at me. Her blue eyes looked like the sea, stormy and filled with water.

"It is." She sniffed and let another tear roll down her cheek. "I-I just. I'm sorry Josh. It IS my fault. You're just saying it isn't to make me feel better."

I reached out and wiped the tears off her face. I took her face gently in my hands, making sure she looked at me. "Allison, listen to me because I'm not going to say it again." She blinked and another tear rolled down her cheek that I wiped away quickly. "I don't ever want to hear you say it's your fault. I WILL be a Dad, and you will be a mother. We'll adopt kids if we have to." She looked down. "Allison. Look at me." She looked back up and hugged me tighter.

"We can try. I'm strong.. I can do it." I shook my head, tears were starting to form in my eyes now.

"No, we won't try. I want to be a Dad, sure I want my kids to look like me, but not if I have to risk losing you. That's never going to happen. We'll get your tubes tied or something to make sure it doesn't happen." I rested my forehead against hers, her uneven breathing was starting to calm down. "I'm not losing you Allison."

She nodded her head and kissed me. "Adoption it is then." I smiled. I always had a way of getting my way with her, on some matters.

"I love you Mrs. Parker." I smiled and kissed her again, quickly. I wiped away the rest of her tears and she smiled back at me. That same smile she had back in 8th grade, just.. a little less metal. If ya know what I mean.

"I love you too, Mr. Parker." I grabbed her gently by the hips and picked her up off of my lap. I took her hand and started leading her back downstairs.

"Just so you know Ali, our first child's name is going to be LaHood. Don't ask questions."