I did take me a long while to tell him everything, but as I began to give him details I felt relieved to be able to share my burden with someone else. As I finished I took a deep breath and examined his expression. His face had gone pale and he looked horrified. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something but then immediately closed it. "Dawson?" He brought a hand to his forehead and shook his head. "What the fuck. What the fuck! How could that sick bastard do something like that! To a fourteen year old no less!" I watched as he paced back and forth. "You have to tell Mom. You have to let her know about what happened." "No! I can't. Not to her. If she were to find out, I'd never be able to face her ever again. This kind of shame is unbearable. You have to promise me you won't say anything." "Jane..." "Promise me! Please. I'm scared. I'm so scared. Anyways, I'm here with you and Dad. I want to begin a new life here. I want to stay here and forget. So please don't tell anyone. Even Dad." "If that's what you want, then fine. But you have to let someone know eventually. You have to. This isn't something you keep inside. He could go to jail for this. That. What he did to you... That's a crime, Jane." "I know. And I will tell someone eventually. But right now, I just want to focus on school and everything else. I don't want that memory... That baby... My actions. I don't want to think about them at all. It may be selfish of me, but I just want to lead a normal life right now." "I understand your reasoning but still- I don't know. Just know that if I see Chris again, I swear I'll kill him. I'll wring his neck or something." "Dawson- I wouldn't go that far." "Nahh, I would never. I could never do something like that. I'd still rough him up something good. There's no way I'd let him off so easily. You can be sure of that." I smiled. It was just like old times when we were younger. The way he threatened to hurt those who ever hurt me. He always kept his promises and I always respected him for that. However, I was a little anxious that he would let something slip and then everyone in our family would know. "Thank you," I told him as he drew me into a warm embrace. "You really are the best." "Of course I am." "Shut up." As we made our way home we were silent. It hadn't really occured to me about what I revealed to Dawson along with everything else. No matter how you looked at it, I had somewhere incorporated the fact that I was no longer a virgin... to my brother. Even though the circumstances made it a bit different, it was still a little awkward. "Dawson..." "Yeah?" "Even though things happened between Chris and I, I myself want to believe that- well... you know..." I bit my lower lip before finishing. "I want to believe that I am still pure. That I'm still a virgin." He stopped walking and turned to face me. I couldn't fully understand his expression but he looked a little disturbed. "Dawson?" "Don't get the wrong idea. I mean, I am here for you if you need to talk but I don't know. Talking about those kinds of things with my sister is... I would rather not. I love you but- sorry. It's easier to not know about my sister's sex life." "I understand but there is a difference between consensual sex and things like rape and sexual harrassment." "Jane!" "What?" "Stop. Please stop. To be one hundred percent honest, if you say one more word about Chris, I will drive myself to Mom's place, find him and rip his head off. Thinking about him and you... It makes me so angry. Just don't speak about it anymore please." I nodded. I could understand that. "Then, I won't talk about it anymore." He smiled and put an arm around me as we walked back home together. It did make me feel better that I was able to tell someone. It felt as if a whole bunch of weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Being able to share my burden with someone was better than keeping it all in for myself... wasn't it?