Amazing! One thing though, some may not read it because of its length. Also, you may want to wait for some to bump in between your updates, or else the story will go by quickly.
I see your point, and agree, but the way you said it… it's like "don't spend as much time to write longer updates and only update after people bump" wrong message
That's definitely not what I meant by that, lolol. I'm just saying to take a little time between your update to let the story play out in a longer period of time.
Chapter 7 Callie's POV "Oh!" I exclaimed. "She's a cutie! Do you know her?" She was a small child with glossy long black hair and chopped bangs, big blue eyes, and rosy cheeks. "Yeah, I know her. I died trying to save her from a fire. All of the exits were blocked though, and I guess…Actually, I don't know what to think." He shook his head. "I can't figure out how she would have gotten here." Serenity tilted her head back, trying to rationalize it out. "Maybe she held onto you while your soul separated from your body and she ended up coming with?" "Sounds plausible," he mused. "Either way, she's here. Now what?" "Now, you all should quit thinking about bothersome things and start thinking about how you're going to survive in this world. Sound good?" I jumped at the sound of a new voice and spun to face the new girl at the side of the room. A girl was leaning nonchalantly against the wall, waiting to be noticed. "Hey, Sarah!" Derek grinned. I wonder if him and Sarah were a thing back on earth, by the way he was gazing at her. She was a thin, slightly muscled girl with a blonde bob haircut. "You cut your hair?" "I'm here to help you figure out how not to die, and you care about my hair?" She glared sparingly at him. "After getting dragged and thrown around by it a few times, I decided that it wasn't worth the hassle. "First things first. I'm an advisor to you all from this point on. Everyone, take one of these beeper pins and push it through your skin wherever you want to, as long as it's easily accessible. You'll bleed. Too bad. Suck it up and do it. It's important for your continued existence." Shanaia was the first to grab a pin, puncturing her wrist as she slid the device below her skin. She winced as the blood oozed out around the pin. We all winced with her with the exception of Alex who grabbed one and positioned it behind his ear. He never flinched. Brenda growled under her breath and snatched up hers, steeling herself for the pain. She pushed it through the center of her palm. How can she do that when she's the more squeamish one around blood? I stared at the dwindling pile of pins in Sarah's hand. Something about them makes my skin crawl at the thought of pushing one through my skin. Everyone else grabbed their pin, including myself. It felt wrong in my hand. Derek pushed his pin into his muscular upper arm. Todd closed his eyes and forced his into his thigh where his hand would rest in a standing position. Serenity took a deep breath and stubbed hers right below her right collarbone. Even the little girl bucked up and forced hers into the palm of her hand without tears. I just stared at the pin. What is wrong with me? Needles never bothered me back home, in fact, I thought they were cool. So why can't I wrap my head around the idea of sticking this chunk of metal into my body? ~<>~ Better?
Chapter 8 Callie's POV Alex growled at me in impatience. I flicked him off. A muscle in his jaw twitched and he stormed towards me. I held up my hands in a defensive position to fend him off, but he snatched the pin from my hand and told me to suck it up. He grabbed my wrist like he intended to shove it through my arm, and I twisted away. Unfortunately, he faked me out. When I twisted away, it put me in a perfect position for him to smash it through the skin on my hipbone. My teeth clenched in pain as my brain flashed and turned fuzzy. I blacked out for a moment. When I came to, I felt different. The world was a different color. And a different size. Why is everyone looking at me like that? Is there something wrong with me? I squinted down at myself. I seem rather furry. I have paws. I glanced behind me. I have a tail. A tail? I laughed in disbelief, but it came out in a ferocious roar. Everyone around me flinched. I was a lioness. I grinned at them, which I realized later probably looked like I was about to eat them all alive. I tried to walk, but having four legs is rather different from having two and I tripped, landing hard on my chin. I winced and swiped my paw across my face in embarrassment. Brenda laughed. "Yep. It's still Cally." I reminded myself to get revenge on her later for that uncalled for statement. I looked to Sarah for advice on what to do now. As much fun as it was being an African queen of the jungle, I wanted to be able to talk to humans again. As I turned towards Sarah, she spoke to me as she shuffled through the sheets she held in her hand. I hadn't noticed that she was carrying anything before. "Shape shifting…Shape shifting…Ah!" She paused on a particular page, her finger running down the sheet. "If you want to get back to a human form, if you injure yourself just enough that you bleed you should change back. You changed in the first place because someone else made you bleed." I nodded and exhaled. Closing my eyes, I bit down on my foreleg. This time I stayed conscious for the change of shape. The feeling is hard to describe if you haven't experienced it, but I'll try my best. It was like I was becoming free yet grounded by the ripping, tearing pain spreading across my body from the bottoms of my feet to the top of my head. When the change finished and I could breathe again, I sat back on my heels.
Chapter 9 Callie's POV "Well, that was interesting," I said, still having some difficulty breathing. "Why isn't she naked?" Serenity asked innocently. I glared at her bitterly and she put up her hands defensively. "I'm just voicing the thoughts of those immature, hormonal, high school boys over there. Don't kill the messenger." Derek and Todd blushed a dark cherry red while Alex rolled his eyes, completely unashamed. Sarah frowned at us both. "What's is it with this group? Can't you lot all just get along?" Sarah snapped. "Look, when you put eight people in a room together with conflicting personalities, you should have foreseen this," murmured Shanaia. By now, Serenity and I were yelling unintelligible things at each other while Brenda tried to calm me down and Alex smirked. Sarah sighed and shook her head. "Hey." Everyone kept squabbling. "Hey!" No response. "EVERYBODY LISTEN UP!" She screamed over the hubbub. I twitched in surprise and turned towards her as everybody else followed suit. "Look, it's my job to try to keep as many of you alive as I can for as long as I can. Okay? But you guys have to listen to me for that to work, got it?" There was a general mumbling of approval and acceptance and she nodded briskly and clapped her hands. "Good." She glanced down at the floor, back up to our faces, and did a double take glance back down to the floor. "Um. Todd? Exactly what is that child playing with?" I glanced at the child. She seemed to be playing with a reptile of some sort, but when it turned its head, it revealed its face, which was covered in thousands of beady eyes and a leech-like mouth. "Kitty?" The girl smiled an innocent, beaming grin. "Um, no, dear, kitties are fluffier," Sarah choked out. "Oh? Like this?" The child clapped her hands and a fluffy version of the monstrosity appeared beside the first creature and started chattering at us angrily. "Um, sweetie?" Now the two creatures were stalking Serenity's feet and hissing. "Can you make them stop that?" "Bad kitties!" The child scolded the monsters, clasped her fingers, and smiled as they disappeared. Sarah's jaw dropped open and she shuffled through her stack of papers with a confused and wondering look. "How is she…She wasn't supposed to be here in the first place. I don't understand how she can have any powers whatsoever. Oh." She paused. "It appears that your powers and her powers switched. You were intended to have the power to summon any creature you could imagine. Her powers…Well, they're rather different than the one you were intending to receive. I am not at liberty to tell you what they are until you discover them for yourself, though. My apologies."