Nice, but please put in proper punctuation, as well as paragraphs (Extremely important!) where they should be. And I agree with Chibi, your grammar could use some improvement... Apart from that this story is very good, with a lot of potential! Oh, and if you really want to make this great, put in some descriptions, and let the reader know what the main character is feeling and/or thinking. It's often the small things that really improve a story.
I've read far too much for my own good... Began reading at 4, was reading Harry Potter by 5, and I recently read the entire book of Inheritance in 2 days... That's 849 pages in less than 48 hours, including sleep and eating and writing