Otay, where to start. Well, it lacks a bit of detail, looks, feelings, ect. especially feelings. Honestly, sophie seems like a whore. As she moves on easily from the person she supposedly loves. Basically, she cheated on her boyfriend with his best friend, and felt no remorse for a good person she turned into a jealous murderer. Then after her original boyfriend killed his best friend out of jealousy, the father of her child, she goes and starts dating an old flame. Also, you don't know how they look. I didn't see any description such as hair, eyes, height, thoughts about them...and no emotion, you need emotion to draw the reader in. They barely feel anything. Damien feels no remorse or regret or jealousy really. Sophie doesn't sadden, or becomes depressive,and moves on so easily, it seems as though she wasn't really in love with him. Think, if that happened to me...? If you tweak it a little, I really believe that it could be a good story.