The Corrupt Wishing Game

Granted, but you’ll be a freshwater mermaid.

I wish I wasn’t sore.

 

granted, but here’s 2 hours in an icy bath

i wish i had more energy

 

Granted but you can't use it to be productive

I wish that all ants in the world turn into rashers of bacon.

 

Granted, but they are miniscule bits

I wish to fly

 

Granted, but you'll never be able to touch ground again.

I wish I had more coffee.

 

Granted, but you don’t like its taste anymore

I wish i could teleport

 

Granted but you teleported to the Pen.

I wish I could sleep in whenever I wanted.

 

Granted but no matter how long you sleep you'll still be drowsy in the morning.

I wish I could have more wishes.

 

Granted but every time you make a wish, time rewinds so you never get to enjoy it.

I wish i wasn't allergic to anything

 

Granted, but everyone is allergic to you.

I wish a new episode of Shameless was on every night.

 

Granted but it’s actually a rerun of your least favorite episode

I wish I could easily learn any dance

 

Granted, but you can only dance to 'All Star' by Smash Mouth.

I wish for the person below me to have a good day.

 

Granted but I still want to die

I wish for enternal slumber

 

Granted, but you'll be dreaming living nightmares.

I wish I finished writing my books.

 

Granted but it doesn't end how you want it to...

I wish the moon was made of cheese