The Corrupt Wishing Game

Granted, but you wake up in an apocalypse

I wish I had more energy

 

Granted, but you are forced to work 24/7, 365 days a year at some remote location in China putting laces in Nike's for $1 a day.

I wish I could see into the future.

 

Granted but you can't change perspective and the perspective is looking into a cats' bumhole... And as soon as it dies, you can't see into the future any further

I wish that everyone had a lifetime supply of their favourite flavour'd pizza

 

Granted, but now you can never have pizza again

I wish I could write the best stories ever.

 

Granted, but no one can read them

I wish I never got sunburnt?

 

Granted, but you’ll be allergic to sunlight instead

I wish I have a mansion

 

Granted but it's in minecraft.

I wish I could teleport.

 

Granted, but you have no control over where or when you teleport.

I wish I didn't have asthma.

 

Granted but now you have persistent hiccups

I wish i had the power to control peoples minds

 

Granted, but now you can't control your bowels.

I wish I had unlimited wishes.

 

granted, but some won’t work

I wish to be able to fly

 

Granted, but it would only be temporary.

I wish to get a break from my studies and sleep

 

Granted but you’ll be late for every other class after your break

I wish I could run like the flash

 

Granted but you'll lose both legs after your first run with that power.

I wish I'm dead.

 

Granted but you get reincarnated

I wish I had 10 kittens

 

Granted, but they viciously eat you.

I wish I don’t go into debt in college.

 

Granted but you go into debt after college

I wish i retained all the information i read

 

Granted but the more you learn the bigger your head gets

I wish my cat wasn’t an asśhöle

 

Granted, now you have an àsshole dog instead

I wish I never needed to sleep

 

Granted, but you’ll never be able to blink either

I wish I knew who my soul mate was