When I got home my mom wasn't too mad I was but told me to go to bed. I tried but my head was buzzing and I felt burning hot. I tried to cool off bye a shower but that made it worse. I felt as if somebody set me on fire and my blue veins turned green. I almost scream but I held it in, not wanting to wake up my mom. It finally all stopped but I still felt different. I looked in the mirror. My thick, dark, brown hair was all messed up and my caramel eyes had thick bags under them. My usual fair skinned, little muscles were now a six pack. I went to bed and finally fell asleep, completely drained.
Yeah it's good Sean Just make sure to check spelling abd grammar. And also, try making longer updates. The detail is good, but little happens in each update. It would be much better if you put more into it. But it's good so far. -Kay