Sucker Punch

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *JillianClaireOlson (01), Aug 22, 2011.

  1. It's very good :)
     
  2. Thank you:) I'll try to update tomorrow but I'm dealing with a lot of personal issues so no promises guys sorry:/
     
  3. love it as always!!! 
     
  4. My story got to the 2nd page:/
     
  5. "Come on, Ry! You have to go! You don't need a man...you could go with me!" Zoey pleaded on a Saturday a few weeks later.

    Ryleigh had slowly been getting better, but she wanted no part of accompanying Zoey and whatever guy she was currently stringing along to the prom. "No, Zoey," she said firmly.

    After a few seconds of silence, Zoey tried another approach. "Okay, fine. But will you at least come with me to get a dress?" she asked, hoping Ryleigh would see all the dresses and change her mind.

    "Can't you call Kendra or Brianne or someone? What about Adrienne?" Ryleigh asked hopefully.

    "Kendra has a huge bio test Monday, so she can't. Brianne's at a concert with her boyfriend and Adrienne has NO fashion sense whatsoever. Besides, I want my best friend's opinion. And you're the only one who can give me that," Zoey explained matter-of-factly.

    "Fine," Ryleigh grumbled.

    And that's how they ended up in a fitting room at a large department store in the mall, staring at Whitney in a gorgeous gold dress, making out with Jake.
     
  6. "Come on, Ry, we're leaving," Zoey said forcefully, dragging Ryleigh out of the store and out to the parking lot.

    After a few moments of driving in silence, Zoey looked at her best friend. "We'll get him back, Ry. I PROMISE he WILL pay for this," she vowed.

    But Ryleigh had reverted back to her depressed, silent ways.
     
  7. Sorry it's a short update. I'll update more later
     
  8. After dropping off a teary-eyed Ryleigh at her house, Zoey went home and paced around her bedroom, trying to formulate a plan.

    Her little talk with Jake and Whitney hadn't worked so well, so she obviously had to step it up a notch. Then, she got the perfect idea. Grabbing her fake ID that her sister, Taylor, had made for her, she bounded down the stairs and dashed out to her car.

    When she got to the store, she smoothed her short, layered, brown hair and pulled on her black aviators as she confidently walked into the store.

    Instantly, she spotted it. The perfect accessory to her plan. Snatching it, she made her way to the cash register.

    "I'm sorry, ma'am, but you have to be 21 to purchase this," the cashier, a balding man who looked to be in his late fifties, told her.

    "Then I guess it's a good thing I'm 23," Zoey smirked.

    "Okay, let me just see your ID real quick," he replied doubtingly.

    "Of course," Zoey said breezily, handing him her fake ID.

    The man glanced between Zoey and her ID several times before asking her to remove her sunglasses. Zoey complied, smiling innocently.

    "Okay then," the cashier mumbled, reluctantly scanning her credit card and putting her purchase in a bag. "You have a good day, now."

    "Thanks, you too," Zoey said, flashing him a smile and exiting the store happily. Now she just had to wait for night to fall.
     
  9. Anyone reading this? :/
     
  10. When the sky grew black as a crow, she slipped quietly out of the house and drove to a house that was getting too familiar. Luckily, the doorman was gone.

    She glanced at the black leather purse sitting on the passenger seat. She hated the fact that it had come to this. She didn't want to do it, but it had to be done. There was no other way.

    Reaching into the glove box and pulling out a pair of latex gloves, she slid them over her slender fingers. She couldn't risk leaving fingerprints behind.

    Opening her purse, she fished through the lipsticks and pens until she found what she had bought earlier. Taking it with her, she slowly got out of the car and walked to the gate. It went all around the house. There was nothing to do but climb over it.

    After quickly scaling the fence, she dropped to the other side and ran up to the door. She felt like this was a scene from an action movie instead of her life.

    Blindly searching underneath the doormat on the porch, she found the key and stealthily unlocked the front door.

    Creeping upstairs, she walked into a room she never thought she'd go into twice in as many days. It was time.
     
  11. Jacob woke up to something cool and hard being pressed against his temple. Turning, he saw someone standing beside his bed. Before he could scream, the stranger placed a hand over his mouth.

    "This could be easy if you want," the person whispered.

    Jacob's eyes widened in terror. As he recognized the person, he heard a quiet popping noise and pain exploded through his body. Blood was everywhere. He tried to put a hand to his head to stop the bleeding, but he couldn't move.

    He heard the gun drop to the floor, and saw his murderer pull a tube of lipstick from her pocket. Lipstick. Lipstick! He was dying and all she cared about was her makeup? He always knew she was a selfish b****. He wanted to say something, but he didn't have the energy.

    He saw his killer put the lipstick on. The color looked familiar, but he couldn't remember where he'd seen it. As the girl leaned down to kiss him, he knew. It was red. Whitney's red. But the girl walking away was NOT Whitney.
     
  12. zomg.







    0_0






    holycrap.






    SO INTENSE...
     
  13. Wait was it obvious who the killer is?
     
  14. Okay good! Just making sure. I wanted it to be obvious but not too obvious..if that makes sense? Haha
     
  15. An old Britney Spears song blasted from her phone. That was her ringtone for Ryleigh. Glancing at the clock, which read 4:00 AM, Zoey felt around on her bedside table for her phone, but she accidentally knocked it to the floor.

    "Damn it," she mumbled, scrambling to reach it before it stopped ringing.

    Stabbing the green button, she growled, "If you're not already dying, I'm gonna kill you for waking me up so damn early."

    "Zoey," Ryleigh said in a shaky voice, "Jacob's dead."

    "He's what?" Zoey asked, feigning surprise.

    "He's dead! Someone shot him a few hours ago...I need you to come over."

    "I'll be right there," Zoey promised.