Story Time!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Royale30, Mar 9, 2013.

  1. Mel's Review Station


    Story: Story Time!


    Written by: Royal and Qin


    Extra Information: Extremely well formatted. Sadly only got up to part 4 since it has taken me so long to get to it.


    Originality~
    The idea is beautiful and is taken great care with, I have not read or heard many if not at all things like it. The Spanish added a nice touch and made me feel like you guys really cared about this story.

    Interest~
    In simple terms you got me hooked, still a bit shaky now and then with the writing where I was kinda confused but it made perfect sense once I worked it out. I never lost intreats at all which is really saying something for a person like me. The references made where cute and added a nice touch.

    Characters~
    I didn't get that much far into your story but I had a general sense about the characters and their relationships. I found the mother to put a smile on my face and the playful jokes the two mains would think of was well done.

    Grammar~
    A couple but not many tiny mistakes here and there. The dialect and description was exceptional but with a few more experimental wording could blow my mind. It was exceptionally formatted with the pages and lettering effects.


    Summary Review~
    Strong recommendation if you want great quality chapters with an interesting story. I hope I can get to read more of it.
     
  2. hi I am neilalexande
     
  3. **royale and qin
     
  4. time to bring out the fire works and naked bodies
     
  5. will update at some point.