Entry #24 I'm not afraid of paranormal and stuff, seen some cases really close already that I'm not afraid anymore cuz I Know how to be in those situations, what I really am scared I to loose the girl I love, to loose the love and care she gives me, to imagine a life without her, I never really gave a shit about anyone backstabbing or not being there when I needed someone, I always just cut em from my life, but since this girl came to my life she changed so much that I can't even explain, I'm really glad that I'm a better person now as compared to what I was before she came in my life, but now life without her is meaningless, I'm afraid to live a single day without her in my life, (might sound stupid or weak as well and I won't argue about that either cuz this never made sense to me how someone can become that important for me so I won't bother trying to make y'all understand either). Hope we'll always be together...happy and healthy 😇 -Wrote in the previous section all I had in life Thoughts: How sweet! I hope I find someone I'm scared to lose.
Entry #25 Well when it comes in fear I got only one thing that I am scared of, Myself. It was my mortal enemy ever since I grow older . I am always afraid to do something I wanted to, cause there were voices in my head and they always win . I don't want to start conversations ,cause I'm afraid that no one will hear it , I'm afraid to share my opinions and be the center of attraction . I'm afraid to tell someone how I feel cause maybe they'll judge me or dump me or they'll just ignore me. So I just wanted to be voiceless every time effin time and all thanks to Myself I got so many opportunities in life that slip off . -France👑 Thoughts: Sharing this to us, you overcome something, even just a little and I am proud! I also don't have anyone to talked to. I keep things to myself cause I don't wanna burden them. And I know what it feels like to live everyday keeping everything to yourself and sometimes you just want to explode. I just want you to know how strong you are but I want to share that crying/being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness. In fact I always admire people not having a hard time to open up and people who know what they want. Cause I still don't know what I want and this Taylor Swift speech helped me: You are not going nowhere just because you’re not where you wanted to end up yet. So keep going and just keep swimming.
Entry #26 What I'm scared of, is those people who'll leave you after they get what they want from you, and those people who will use your weaknesses against you, so that they can lock you up in the cage and use you whenever they needed. -Masked_Phantom Thoughts: Well I am more scared if you let those people do that to you over and over again.
Entry #27 Madaming akong kinakatakutan ngunit isa sa pinaka kinakatakutan ko ay mapalit ang loob sa mga taong hindi ko nakikita at hindi ko kilala masyado like in social media and pimd. Pero hanggang ngayon nasa game at social media pa din ako. Masaya magkaroon ng madaming kaibigan tipong unti unti na kong napapalapit sa kanila pero walang kasiguraduhan kung hanggang kailan sila nandyan para saakin. I like overthinking to the point na kinakain na lang ako ng kalungkutan pero ako ung mismong lumalayo sa mga tao kasi feeling ko anytime na mapalit na saakin ung tao na tipong nasanay na kong kausap lagi tapos bigla na lang maglalaho ng parang bula. HAHAHAHA Isa pa sa mga kinakatakutan ko ang pag prepretend. I love Pretending but Pretending hates me because madali akong basahin. -Anonymous Translation: I have a lot of things I'm scared of but one of those is to be close with people that you don't see or don't know like in social media and pimd. But, here I am, still here. I am happy that I gain more friends and I am slowly getting close to them but I have no assurance how long they will be there for me. I am overthinking that it consumes me and it comes to the point that I am the one who go away because I feel like they can replace me easily. The feeling that I already used to talking to them and suddenly they will be gone like a bubble. Another things is I am scared of pretending. I love pretending but pretending hates me because I am easy to read. Ps. CONQUER YOUR FEARS. Pss. Believe in your self Psss. Love Yourself before Others. Kung may pinagdadaan ka man ngayon. Kakayanin mo yan. Maging masaya ka kung ano o sino man ang nandyan. At higit sa lahat maging totoo ka. Thoughts: Well, having friends here always feels like that. You have no assurance. You're investing your time, you're trusting them but you have no assurance. I think you just choose people worthy of your effort time and trust. Choose wisely!
Entry #28 Sharing my problems. Kasi ayoko ma judge. Hindi talaga ako open na tao. Natatakot ako na baka pag inopen ko sa iba, tatawanan lang ako at iku-kwento pa sa iba. -Secret Translation: Sharing my problems. I don't like being judged. I'm not an open person. I'm afraid that when I open up, they will just laugh and spread it to others. Thoughts: Sharing problems is hard for me too. I don't have someone to share it with but I have Him. ☝️ I share to Him. And somehow, it lessens the pain.
This isnt yourself telling you that. As you were growing up you had people telling you you cant do things. That you will fail. A kids mind is mega easy to influence. So you believed it to be the truth. You can overcome it if you really want to. It will be hard as fuck but if you wanna beat it you can and will
I'm pretty scared of hospitals... The whole vibe of the place freaks me out n the fact that ppl die there scares me too... Ik alot of ppl r born there... I was born there... Lots of pplz lives r saved there n amazing ppl work there that help with so much... N they give off so much of their time... But yea... I'm still petrified of those places... My mom works in a hospital too... 💔So it's kind of a regular thing to go there.... I'd choose anything over going to a hospital.... Just the thought of it makes me tremble... Especially at nyt... It's the worst... It's so empty n quiet.... N anyone can pop up n do hell knows wat to u... The amnt of fear in me when I come close to a hospital is unbelievable.... Sometimes I refuse to go in n I juss sit outside... I hate hate hate HATEEE the smell of hospitals too.... As soon as I enter thru those doors I feel like someone's strangling me or sum... N I've had som pretty tough experiences in hospitals as a child... So yea.... 🕴️🔥Hospitals ain't ma kinda place ~Via🥀