Um...well, to be a critique, this seems a bit fast. Not much back story or emotion...I mean, is this a prologue or have you started the story? Might be too early to tell, but why wouldn't a child try to save their parents? Why wouldn't they be scared out of their mind? Why would they take the time to pack...and if this is a young child, people are bound to notice them walking around...and I'd like to think that some people would be kind enough to try to help...
Thankyou for the critique. This was a little all over the place, your right. But I write my stories in a way where I become the character. And Ravyn didn't try to save her parents coz one was dead by the time she got to the door, and the man had a GUN. And a KNIFE. And she was EIGHT. My original story was better, but I went to copy it and I accidentally pressed paste and it was replaced with the word the. And I wrote the first part at 10:30pm, the next at 11pm, and the next one 8am, so I was tired when I wrote it. This is my first story in over a year. It's the way I write. And the first four parts of the story are memories. Thankyou for reading.