A lot of my friends are getting married now. I'm 21 and I've been in a serious relationship for a while but he's unsure of asking me....which makes me question us. I guess you get married when you decide/want to.
I think you should know exactly who you are and what you want out of life first. Some people can figure this out early in life, while some of us tend to never have it fully figured out. It seems a bit unfair to depend on another person to complete you as that is a lot of pressure to put on another. Be happy and love who you are first. Then, imo, you are ready to be you with someone else. If that makes sense.
And Dodger's a bummer ? But to each his own. Right on lizzie! your partner shouldn't be what defines you and gives you happiness. Because at the end of the day they're only human. And humans are gonna let you down.
Panda, I think you should just talk to your boyfriend so you're both on the same page. At least before you start questioning your relationship or even considering ending it. That way he clearly understand what you want, and you understand what he wants and you can both go from there.
Honestly I don't know why marriage is a thing. Maybe it's because no one expects people who aren't married to stay together forever. Since you're not being held accountable by any sort of ring or vow or preacher or God or a justice of the peace or by law or by a piece of paper. Maybe it's because weddings are always amazing and who doesn't love an open bar? Maybe it's because they've been around forever it's kind like a passage into a new kind of relationship. Maybe marriage isn't the paper or the law or the religion, maybe it's just two people deciding they're gonna be together forever and actually staying together forever. Maybe even you don't get "married" you can still have a marriage. ? Because really it's just a permanent Union. I would say monogamous Union... But some people are polygamous.
I don't really think there is a "right" age to get married. You should get married whenever you're ready, whether it be 19 or 89. I personally think that it's better to wait. Divorce rates are at 50% and climbing, and with how expensive divorces are, I feel that you could afford to wait. OP also makes the assumption that marriage is the "end game" if you will, saying that you should marry early while you're still in prime sexual condition. Frankly, I don't ever want to get married. This will not stop me from having sex and having kids if I choose to do so. It's 2014, marriage isn't really necessary for those things. So when should you get married? Whenever or if ever you feel inclined to do so.
Not saying marriage should be the end game just inquiring when people,who actually want to get married, believe is the best time to do so. You definitely don't have to get married. And yes you can have sex all you want and have as many kids and you so wish without getting married (and that has nothing to do with the year 2014, it's always been that way). I for one want 0 kids, unless I decide to adopt, but I still want to get married. Personally I think that everyone should consider settling down with one person for the rest of their life whether they get married or not because I think there's something wonderful in that. But I'm a traditionalist, so I'm sure many disagree. To each his own.