The Panda One Is Fucked Up Q.) What's the problem with having Alzheimer's? A.)You keep getting told you have it
I keep having reoccurring nightmares about drowning in an ocean of orange juice. Turns out it's just a Fanta sea.... ....tumbleweed....
There was these 3 works thatwere on top of a 4000 foot build 1 worker: did you know you can survive this fall if you believe in god Worker 2: no Worker 1 watch Ill show you -approaches the edge- I believe I believe I believe -jumps- worker 2: damn Worker one stops 1 foot from the ground and gets put down lightly worker 2: -approaches the edge- I believe I believe I believe -jumps and dies- Worker 3: haha nice one superman
Q. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? A. He wanted cold hard cash! Q. What did the porcupine say to the cactus? A. "Is that you mommy?" Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A. Frostbite. Q. How do crazy people go through the forest? A. They take the psycho path. Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones. Q. What do you get from a pampered cow? A. Spoiled milk. Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll Q. What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of the airplane? A. ME!!! Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. In snow banks. Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick. Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea? A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels! Q. What dog keeps the best time? A. A watch dog. Q. Why did the tomato turn red? A. It saw the salad dressing! Q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? A. It let out a little wine! Q. How do you make a tissue dance? A. Put a little boogey in it! Q. Where do bees go to the bathroom? A. At the BP station! Q. What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A. Odor in the court. Q. What did the water say to the boat? A. Nothing, it just waved. Q. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? A. Dam! Q. Why don't skeletons fight each other? A. They don't have the guts.
What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One wont scream Sorry everyone the bad ones are funny
Once Upon A Time 3 Men EscapedSappointedon And Hid In The Kings Fruit Garden. Captured Once Again The King Was Impressed With The Prisoners Escape And Offered A Challenge For Freedom Or Death. "Go Collect 10 Pieces Of The Same Fruit". The Men Went On. The First Man Came With 10 Apples. The King Then Have Him The Second Part Of The Challenge. "You Must Shove Each Piece Of Fruit Up Your Arse With No Facial Emotion Or You'll Be Sent To The Lions Den To Be Eaten Alive" The Man Agreed And Was Able To Get 3 In Before His Colon Ruptured And He Died Instantly. The Second Guy Came With 10 Berries And Was Challenged To Do The Same, But Giggled And Was Forced To The Lions Den. In Heaven The First Guy Was Disappointed And AskedD Why He Threw Away Such a Easy Opportunity To Be Free By Laughing. The Guy RespondeD "I Couldn't Help It. I Saw The Other Guy With Pineapples!"
Jake walks up the stair way to heaven with God and ask what all the clocks on the wall are for he responds these clocks show how many times someone has lied see theres your clock you got 23 lies must be the one girl. See that clock that's its mother mother marrys she lied once it was about being a virgin Jake ask where Obama's clock is God responds in Jesus's office being used as a ceiling fan
If you're struggling to think of a gift for someones birthday or Christmas, buy them a fridge and watch their faces light up when they open it.