Perfection ~ The Not So Perfect Story

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by ashleemac14, Oct 9, 2012.

  1. Yes.
    
    
    BABOOM!
     
  2.  I've finished my update.... Will be posting now
     
  3. Ok so back to Taylor's POV for the rest of the story, unless I change my mind.

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    "Do you know why Sam's car is still in my driveway?", Jen stared at me suspiciously. It was more of a glare actually, like the "I know what you're doing, I just want you to tell me yourself" glare. She was still in her pajamas, did she wake up and run over here as soon as she got up? I looked around nervously, trying to come up with some sort of plausible answer.

    "Um.... Uh... Well, you see...", I started.

    "Wait, is that him on the couch?", Jen interrupted. She pushed past me and walked briskly over to Sam. I closed the door and walked behind her, she turned around with her mouth gaping open. She grabbed my arm and pulled me upstairs, so that we could talk. "Are you serious?", she stared at me with disbelief.

    "Serious about what? That he stayed over? Yes. That we did anything? No.", I answered her question more than I should have. I walked into my room and she followed quickly behind me.

    "I didn't ask if you did anything Taylor. It's just he's a boy, you're a girl, and you've known each other for some time now.", she stated. She obviously thought I was lying to her, but in this situation who wouldn't think what she was. I looked at her, she was staring at something in my room. I turned around and saw Sam's black Vans, I can't believe I forgot about hiding those. God, no wonder she thinks I'm lying.

    She cleared her throat, "You were saying?". The sarcastic tone in her voice was as sharp as a dagger. I was in trouble with her, but she still had the wrong idea.

    "Nothing happened, I swear. He just stayed the night, that's all. Nothing more, nothing less. Ok?", I stared at her, waiting for an answer.

    "Ok, ok. I believe you,", she answered me even though she still looked suspicious, " but it wouldn't shock me if y'all did."

    "What?", my eyes widen at her comment. What? Why, why would she think that? Does she know something that I don't?

    "I'll see you Monday.", she told me, smiling.

    "That tells me nothing. Nothing at all.", I responded. Why won't she tell me?

    "Bye Taylor.", she left, closing the door on her way out.

    "Well then"
     
  4. I love reading this a second time :3 :D

    ~Bump~
     
  5. More!!!!!
    Or you know what happens
    Bump!
     
  6. Wonderful. I just have one thing to say. You don't need to put a comma right after the dialogue. Put a comma in place of a period when the phrase right after is part of the sentence, and if it's not, just leave the period.

    For example:
    "Yes, I love bunnies," Sammi replied.
    Or:
    "Yes, I love bunnies." Sammi turned to look at him and nodded.
     
  7. Hmmm thanks for the tip Angel, but it was how I was taught to put the comma after. It helps me separate dialogue and all. I'll keep it in mind though.
     
  8. Bump. Happy New Year everyone, thanks for reading the story.
     
  9. Pretend I killed 3 puppies
     
  10. Haha I'm in the story I'm so happy lol
     
  11. Well it's Jennifer, not Jennete, but ok
     
  12. The jen lol its my nickname jennete is just soooooooooooo long haha
     
  13. 
     
  14. I'll write another update tomorrow, hopefully it'll be longer
     
  15. MORE!
    I found another doggy.
    
    They're twins.
    
     
  16. I have an update written, I'm posting later today after my proofers( and friends) read it.
     
  17. New Update!

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    I stared at the ceiling, it was the middle of the night. The alarm clock dimly lit the dark room with a soft blue glow, reading 1:28 in the morning. My breath was still heavy and my body drenched in a cold sweat, another nightmare and sleepless night. I didn't want to go to sleep again, but I desperately needed to. I clutched onto a pillow, it smelled like him. I caught myself remembering yesterday morning, the way he was holding me as I woke up. It erased any memory of the nightmare that still lingered in my mind.

    "Why Jen?", I thought aloud to myself. It's not anyone could hear me, they were probably all peacefully sleeping in their beds like normal people should be at this hour. Why would she say that? Does she know how I feel? Even she did, he couldn't possibly feel the same way. I was a girl friend to him, not the combination of the two. It was just another hopeless crush on the best guy friend, but they just want to value the friendship instead. The room became incredibly bright all of the sudden. The iPhone on the bedside dresser received a message, I saw who it was and my heart stopped.

    "Hey.... We need to talk. See you at school today? You know what? I'll be waiting at our doors, meet me there. -Jonas", it read. I never wanted to talk to him ever again after Friday, or so I thought. There was still that one part of me that still wanted him, regardless if whatever happened. People get second chances all the time, it couldn't hurt to give him one.

    "Ok... I'll meet you there. ", I typed out. I debated on whether or not to send it, my thumb hovering over the send button. He was a nice guy who made a mistake, people make mistakes all the time. After a while of justifying his behavior and actions, I gave in and the message was sent.

    "Awesome.", he sent not even thirty seconds after he received the message. It was like he was waiting for me to answer, when it took me about an hour to answer him.

    I looked over at the clock again, the blue numbers were hard to read with my tired eyes. The blurred numbers appeared to read 2:45 in the morning. Just three more hours and I would need to be up. I snuggled the pillow up close, holding it tightly, and intoxicated myself with Sam's scent. It made me sleepy, just like before on the couch.

    The next time I woke up, it was to my blaring alarm. I felt a little better, having got some sleep. I checked my phone, seeing I'd gotten five other messages from Jonas and one from Sam. I opened his message, read it, and couldn't help but smile.

    "Good morning, hope you're better. Better than Saturday night anyway. If you want, I can come pick you up this morning."

    "Sure", I sent back and put my phone back down. I didn't want to read the over excessive bunch of Jonas's messages.

    The cold bathroom tiles underneath my bare feet froze my whole body. The shower steam made it a little more bearable though. I sat in the shower holding my legs close to my body, resting my head on my knees and thinking about everything. What Jen meant, Jonas, Sam, and how they both made me feel. The water ran over my naked skin, lulling me back to sleep with it's warmth. The alarm woke from the sleep I put it in ten minutes ago, scaring me half to death. I grabbed the plush, peach-colored towel that I had set on the the sink counter and wrapped it tightly around my shivering body. I hit the off button this time, not wanting to hear that blasted noise again.

    I threw on a pair of black skinnies, mint green eyeshadow sweater, and black ballet flats. My hair looked pretty good today after brushing it, so I decided to let my natural curls show. My eyelashes were coated with a little mascara and my eyes outlined with some black liner to make my eyes pop. I made sure to cover my dark circles to keep Sam from worrying any more than he already does. When I turned around, I saw something written on the picture I drew of Sam, Jen, and I.

    "This is really beautiful, almost as beautiful as the girl who drew it. -Sam", I ran my fingers over it as I read. I stopped breathing, well almost. I read it over and over, still getting the same reaction from myself. The only thing that stopped me was the sound of a horn. He was here.