"No no no no no.." I repeatedly screamed as I run up the sidewalk. I hit many pedestrians but they didn't notice. I was invisible. I arrived in front of my house and passed through the door. My mother sat on the couch, looking at old photos of me. " Little Janie..." She sobbed as tears hit the plastic pages, hiding my old photographs with a thin layer of protection.. "Mommy??? I'm here..Please-Look.!" I tapped her furiously, and still, nothing. I ran up to Jordan's room. "Jordy boy???" I called his superhero name. He wasn't in his room. I ran to the play room and saw him.. "Jordan!!! Baby come here!!! Look at me." I yelled. His back was turned from me and he didn't move. . My heart broke... Did he know yet? "Shh!!! Mr.Pickles is ashleep shissy!!!" He turned to face me. "Jordy!!! You see me?" "Yesh. Mommy said you left to Heaven... Why ish you here again? Did God not like you?" He frowned. I embraced him tightly. "I misshed you!!!!" He said squeezing me tighter. He bounced up and down and jumped in my lap. "Read me a shtory !!!" He giggled and picked Spiderman from the shelf. I began to read and he interjected the usual " Hit him in the face with shone web!!!" Sudddenly, mom appeared. "Jordan who are you yelling at??" "Shissy! She's back! God didn't want her! She's right here!!" "Baby . It's time for bed isn't it... Say bye to sissy okay?" Her eyes filled with tears.. He kissed my cheek and hopped over to mom. He was laid to sleep by mom, and I said goodnight. " Goodnight shissy..."
I walked grimly away from my old home, remembering the hot summer days playing outside as my dad grilled hotdogs. The sounds of my mothers laughter replayed in my head. My dads strong muscles, lifting me up to the branch in the old Oak tree in the backyard. I used to climb to the very top... Stephanie and I built a fort as high as we could in the tree, and spent nights sitting there, laughing together. I missed being alive. Having the need for a breath every moment. Feeling loved... Giving love... Then there was Mike. . . I loved him so much. The way he could make me smile without even doing anything, the look in his bright eyes as he looked into mine... The way his hand held my chin as we kissed.. Before I knew it, I looked up to see Mikes house before me.. I went in and up to Mikes room. He wasn't home.. I walked back to the kitchen, looking at the clock... 7:27 p.m. I sat down at his marble island in the kitchen.. It was open to the Obituraries. "Jane Paige Oliver. An insight of faith is all that's needed; to know your in Gods wings. May the Lord bless you and keep you. We love you Janie. See you soon." I read the opening to my obiturary. Tears formed in my eyes. A description of my life was given. My achievements and goals, my life, was all fit onto one peice of small paper. That's all I had to be remembered... Sobbing hysterically now, I looked in vain to see that my Funeral services were tonight... My body would be laid to rest in the morning... I rushed to my Old Church, to see many people there. My grandmother, my friends, my aunts and uncles, cousins and parents were there. Everyone was seated.. And there, in the corner, burying his face into his hands was Mike. I twitched in pain, as the service began.. "Dear Friends, We are here today in beloved memory of Jane Paige Oliver. May her legacy last forever." A video of my life began. Being born, toddling around the house, practicing cheerleading, reading with my grandparents. Everything was there. Everyone was teary eyed... I fell to my knees seeing such memories. I wanted to live again. I wanted to say 'I love you' to everyone.. My heart shattered when I realized I couldn't. No pain, was ever this terribly real. Everyone stood to say thier final Goodbye. Some caressed my bodys hands and others sobbed and pulled out handkerchiefs. Mike walked up to my cold body. "Im so sorry. Please- forgive me.. I love you so much... Why..?" He wailed and cried as his mother pulled him away from me... He pressed his lips to my forehead and walked slowly away. I knew I wanted to see my body.. I was shaking in fear.. I solemly walked up to my blue satin filled casket. Roses decorated the top and all around my casket. There I was. A gash on my face and a bruise on my neck. I was pale. Filled with framaldahyde and fake makeup. There I was. Cold. Wasted. Nothing left. I wanted to feel life once more. "I'm here.. I'm here. Please God listen.. I'm here!!!!" I began yelling. Screaming. Begging for one reaction. Yet once more, nothing. I walked back and sat beside Mike and cried on his shoulder. "I love you Mike.. Please don't forget me... Please... Look at me. Know i'm here and I need you... Please Mike.." His head picked up slowly and stared at me. "Mike?"