Mephiles~ I took careful notes, glancing every minute or so at Miles. Miles was my best friend, sometimes I'm asked if we're going out or related. We answer no, no matter how much that breaks my heart. We always hand out together, because we have all of our classes together. His blonde hair stayed in his dark blue eyes as he barely looked up through his thinly rimmed glasses. My reading glasses slid off my face as I snapped my head up at my name. "Huh?" "Pst! Mephiles!" Miles hissed. "Hm?" "Here." he said, sliding a note to me. I put it under the desk and opened it up, reading it. Hey Mephiles, Wanna do something on Friday? I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Ice rink. -Miles x I smiled to myself as I glanced up at him, fixing my reading glasses as I wrote, yes on the paper.
Xavier~ I watched as she walked out of reading class with Miles. Oh how I hate him. He likes Mephiles, he just pretends not to. I know that she is HEAD OVER HEELS for him. Meanwhile, she hasn't answered my message about our date on Friday. I can't wait for her reply! It will be awesome! I have a crush on her, I just don't say anything to my dumbass friends. Miles stood by her locker, talking to her and I noticed how close they were getting. I nervously shuffled over to the two, and squeaked. "Erm, Mephiles?" I asked, popping from behind her. Miles looked up at me, growling as she turned her attention to me. "Yes?" "Uh...When are we tutoring?" I asked lamely. "As soon as I'm done putting everything away in my locker." she said, smiling and opening her locked, taking out a small forest green binder labeled TUTORING. "See ya on Friday, Mephiles!" Miles said sweetly to her, waving as he walked. Friday? FRIDAY?! THAT'S WHAT DAY IM GOING WITH HER! Oh no, I'm taking her Miles. Not you.
Well you asked for my critique so here it is: I feel like the story is not progressing much in terms of actual content to sink my teeth into, I feel as if the last 3 pages has just been a massive intro. I do like your writing style though, it's very easy to enjoy because you don't bombard your readers with a clutter of confusing words and such. I think, from my point of view this is, that there needs to be more development on the girl being a wolf, maybe some action. It'll be interesting to see where this goes.
Mephiles~ So we decided to start with English first. "So what do you need help in, in English class, Xavier?" I asked, pulling out an English packet. "I dunno." he said, messing with his scarf. It's Fall. "Are you kidding me?" I asked, growling and snatching the paper from his hand. It was the stuff he was having problems with. "Okay," I said with a huff and a touch of annoyance. "let's get started on the tenses.." If he needs help on this, he's a retard. "Okay, if I say, 'I've been to the mall and back.' which tense is it?" I asked, holding back the urge to slap him. "Present?" he squeaked. "Are kidding me!?" I growled. "...-" I stood up, slapped him and collapsed and curled into a ball on the cold cement. My eyes burned with tears as I became the wolf I didn't want to be. This was the wrong moment. I would be in so much trouble, I would probably be banned from school, and possibly sent to hell after I die. My now russet fur moved in the lame breeze and I pounced. I couldn't stand it. I bit his shoulder, leaving a few drops of blood and I slashed his face, causing his glasses to break. I ran into the forest, avoiding trees and hurdling over bushes and scattered rocks. I was running to the cliff, my cliff. The place I went to go talk to myself, the place that made me this monster I am now.