Star, I have no idea. But one things for sure, I've never met those haters in Off Topic. So therefore there shouldn't be a question asking why I'm so cool. Haters don't have the priviledge to judge.
------- "Hey babe." As if on cue, my cougar instincts kicked in and my Staccato heels just smacked that ass. "Bitch, you trippin'! Find your own plastic surgeon, because this one's mine." And DAYUM. She needed that surgeon. I could feel myself puke in my own stomach, the stomach acid burning my throat. Why in the world would God's creation lay in the construction spot and let a bulldozer drop on her? The dent in her chest, God! She could audition for the Guiness World Records and pass. And SNAP. Back to reality where Ms. I'm-a-sexy-Lindsey-Lohan-stereotype-with-toned-legs-that-could-never-belong-to-her- ---- BRB. D:
Just walked up to me and bitch slapped me. "Oh it's on." Cougar instincts. Claws, check. Dagger eyes, check. Red Staccato heels, check. IT'S THE BATTLE OF THE CATS, BITCHES. And I knew her weakness. ------ It was over in five minutes. Sure I got some bruises, but they were so cute on my face. I managed to get a small scratch, but that made me look even more dominant. The blood was like vanilla, it was tempting. Sadly no other female predators were coming on to my boyfriend. Must be the cougarness. It was easy. Just kicked that dent a few times and BAM. Wiggling bitch with a heart attack. Called the ambulance. I gave her my blessings, even a plea to the man who was dragging her ankle to give her a boob job. At least after the surgery she'll finally get touched by a man! ------ "Well that was aggressive." And she knew it. In the jungle of the cougar, only one female wins. That's why they called me queen of the amazon, although it was supposed to be queen of the beach. I guess my boyfriend's my trophy to the golden chair. Sitting on that lifeguard's seat, staring down at all them bitches and just sneaking peeks at the muscular tanned men sweating while surfing. Being a cougar has its benefits. ------ ^w^
------- "Darlin' we're going to New York!" Away from Miami? Well that's a start. Now I'll just have to find away to fit Denis into my luggage. "Wait. What about Felicity?" My dog. Golden retriever. Sassy pedicure and manicure and a touch of doggy smiling sunshine teeth. Glossy white and eyes that screamed, "PET ME UNTIL I KEEL". She was such a darling, so petite. If I left her here my dad would turn her into a business dog that doesn't have a proper taste in fashion. "The kennel." Plain flat as that. ----- "Doggy passport?" "Good idea." After coming up with millions of ideas she finally agreed. Now, to pack up my entire closet. Two rooms and five thousand Juicy Couture T-shirts stashed in those ten wardrobes of mine. ------ I could practically smell the tears. Salty, should add a bit of pepper. Oh wait. They already sneezed. In my face. It took me five hankerchiefs to wipe the snot off and I still smelled of rotten lettuce. And for the third time, my Chanel 5 wore off. They really need a new perfume that could withstand time! Five minutes and the fragrance wears off! Come on! God gave us technology for a reason! "This soiree was really delightful. Now we must depart." My mom threw a bouqet of flowers at the sobbing crowd. At least that was what happened. Sort of. My boyfriend was bawling, his eyes popping out of his skull, reaching for me. "PUMPKIN PIE! TAKE ME WITH YOU!" Everybody stepped away from him, giving him space to cry in a small circle. "Sorry babe. Three's a crowd." I nearly puked when my supposed-to-be-new-not-as-hot boyfriend put his arm around my waist. "I dare contradict. Denis, hop on!" And that was when I imagined myself pushing Jackson off the plane. ------ It was quiet in the ride. Denis was hugging the bouqet of flowers tightly, my head snuggled into his sweater. Jackson was sitting next to me, grunting. Mom insisted on dragging along my ex, or as she says, "replacement boyfriend". Of course I could never dump my overly sensitive-hot-as-Miami-boyfriend. We're totally destined to be with each other! We have so many things in common. He think rabbits are adorable and likes cotton candy! Best. Boyfriend. Ever. He doesn't even understand the meaning of cheating! ------ It was amazing. Five star hotel, and even a free massage. Why? Because. I'm just adorably irresistable like that. ----- ._.
Goodnight guys. ;A; I wonder if I can get unbanned. My mom's pissed about using her phone so much. ROFL. xD