You, Mandy, are one of the most original writers I have seen on FF for a long time! The emotions, the grammar, the descriptions, omg it makes me want to cry!
Despite the way I acted towards him, I was actually worried about Earl. What had brought him to the point of suicide? He had everything a normal suicidal person would want (well, at least I thought so). Maybe it was some kind of genetic depression. I've heard of people having depression run in the family. After I ditched him, I ran into my parents right outside the door. Apparently, they had been called by the hospital, to let them know where I was. "Luana Mona! Why didn't you tell us you had a boyfriend?" My mother said sternly. She was more concerned about the prospects of a boyfriend than my safety? "He's a stranger. I've never met him before." I automatically covered up, but I didn't really know why. I had always been like this, covering up unnecessary, yet sensitive, things with white lies. It was partially true, though. I had never actually Talked to Earl before... My father looked impressed. "You saved a stranger? Wow, I had no idea my daughter was such a good Samaritan!" His eyes twinkled. I sighed, "I'm really not so despicable as everyone thinks I am." It was true. It seemed like everyone looked at me as cold, regal young adult. Was that really who I am? Somewhere in the process of building my emotional wall, I'd lost my ambitions. Somewhere in that time, I forgot who I was, and all the obvious things that defined my character. I wondered, 'who am I, really?'
After we got home from the hospital, it was late in the night. It appeared like I actually was at the hospital for a few hours, because my parents were only there for about 15 minutes. I headed to bed quickly; I was exhausted. When I woke up, I saw that I had slept in way too late. My parents had already left to work, and it was too late to go to school. As I wandered into the kitchen (because what teenager doesn't just wander naturally to the refrigerator?), I noticed a note on the table. It read: "Luana, We are at work, if you wake up and we are not here. You went through a lot yesterday! Try to rest. Love, Mom and Dad" It looked like mom had actually written the note. Dad just signed his name. Not that it made a difference. I was grateful to have the day off. After doing a few chores around the house, I decided to go on a walk. I took a shorter route through the neighborhood today. It wasn't until I reached the park that I knew my destination. I looked towards the swings, where I found Earl. Today, there was a young mother playing with her twin toddlers. They looked happy. I wondered briefly what I was going to do about Earl. The question was once again brought to mind: What had pushed him to the point of suicide? He really did have everything, and I'll admit I was a bit envious. I was curious about it, and that made me wonder if I cared. I wasn't sure. But even if I did care, why should I make him my friend? It was tempting. I really wouldn't mind having a friend, as long as they held true. But would he be a real friend? Everyone deserved a chance, don't they? But,... what if he hurt me the way so many others had in the past? It was almost irresistible to reach out to friendship, but remembering my past experiences, I shrunk away from the idea. "I won't be Earl's or anyone else's friend." I vowed aloud to cold, mocking November air. ------------------- She's strong, but I think she's holding on a bit too hard to her lonely ideals.
It can be frightening to put yourself out there, though. ^-^ sometimes people like you, sometimes they don't. As a teenager, it can be especially hard, because everyone is so dang judgemental.