-calls- Police: 911 what's your emergency? Me: -sits up straight- HELLO! My name is Aridolphia Rodriguez and I have been recently kidnapped I am 16 and I have been locked up in a cell for two weeks I escaped and I just thought it would be good to call please put them in jail. Police: aren't they looking for you? Me: um well I am really good with batons you see.. So I found a pipe and I smashed some on the head.. Police: You didn't kill them did you? Me: No... But some died when I jumped of the roof and split my ankle bone in two they jumped after me and some died. Police: Address? Me: uhm please hold -climbs outside then goes bak in- uhm highway 93 Across from Felldom boulevard. Police: we will send an ambulance for your ankle and we will arrest the Kidnappers. Me: look for a sign that says SUNNY DAYCARE. Cuz that's where they are hiding with some people I've been helping some escape. Police: okay be right there! Just sit tight And you will be rescued! Me: thankyou! Police: Love you Uhm Aridolphia if that's your name I will f*ck you everyday! And I know this is mirandas cell. Me: ACK WTF!
(Ehm, I musta knocked my phone outta the charger last night.. i'll be here fot like 10 minutes, what did I miss?)
-gets the phone back and calls the police again- Me: Police? Police? Aridolphia? Stop using Mirandas cell. Me: No, it's Miranda here. I have a different story. Two years ago, two men, Anderson and Yazaz they kidnapped me because they thought I was a princess. And when I escaped I hurt my hand so now it's broken. Oh and I locked the men up into the broom closet with air of course. Police: Good work. Well be right there. May I have the kidnappers adresss? Me: 234 Apple Street. See ya later Po. Police: Did you just call me your grandmother in Chinese? Me: um, no