In Case (BoyxBoy)

YOOOOU GUIIIISEEEE. STAHP MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY.  I'LL TRY UPDATE ONCE I GET HOME FROM SCHOOL (10 hours from now) bye. 

 

Chapter Five


Home was the last place I'd be, but it was the only place I know where to hide. Well, at least my parents weren't home...


That's what I thought.


Opening the door to the house, I saw my father's drunken state. He was about to go out of the house, which was pretty obvious; and I was just standing in front of him, eyes wide open with fear and shock.


Wrong ******* timing.


"D-dad." I gulped.


He squinted, taking a better look at me, and then he smirked evilly. "What're you doing here, fag?"


"I-I f-feel... sick," I said half true.


He nodded, and he turned on his poker face; making me rush towards my room, but when I passed by him, he grabbed my collar and threw me across the room. I winced in pain, tears slowly coming out of my eyes.


He didn't say anything, and I didn't too. I just watched him in fear, as he slowly walked towards me.


He has been a drunkard ever since I came out of the closet. I blamed myself for all the things that happened.


Our family wasn't stable, and we weren't happy anymore. My mom barely came home... And I had no one but myself.


I couldn't run away too...


I was a coward.


My father kicked me on my stomach, making me curl in a foetal position; I could already tell that it was swelling, and it'd pretty much bruise the next day.


He began to beat me up, leaving me defenceless. I felt so weak, so vulnerable... So hopeless.


In the back of my mind, I wanted to fight back— but I couldn't.


And then before darkness could engulf me.


I thought, this is why I can't love anyone... no matter how much I love that person— I can't.



☆



Waking up the next day, sore... is something that I never looked forward to; but somehow I didn't wake up to pain. I woke up normally in the middle of the living room at four in the morning. My father was nowhere in sight; so I quickly ran off to my room, only to see myself in the mirror, full of bruises, and cuts.


I groaned in distraught, not pain, as I tried to move quickly, lifting up my shirt. And there I saw a huge bruise that came from my right side to my stomach.


My lips were dry, pale, and bloody.


And I felt nauseous from the events that had just happened.


Nathan confessed to me— but I don't know if it's real.


I came home, only to find my dad beating me to a pulp.


I sighed, and sauntered to the bathroom, taking a slow shower. I tended to my wounds afterwards, and bandaged my stomach. But I didn't feel anything.


I put on foundation on certain bruises on my face, and especially the ones in my neck and arms.


I could see my father's finger marks on my neck when he strangled me.


And so with the marks on my hand, when he was holding me tightly, squishing me.


I decided to wear my black plain turtleneck and my black jeans. I needed to cover my body as much as I could. I wouldn't want anyone to question me about it.


I looked at myself one last time in the mirror, and I saw a ghostly face, emotionless eyes, and a sad stricken smile.


I looked horrible.


Much, much more horrible than I have expected.


I cleared my throat, and applied more foundation on the bruises on my face. I specially bought a foundation for times like these; and it really helped.


I finished off as I slowly went over it again, and so I turned away from my room, grabbed my bag and my jacket, and slowly walked out of the house.


It was six thirty in the morning as I walked towards the bus stop. It was early, but it's better than having my father to wake up to me. I didn't want to take another beating.


I felt hollow already.


I felt utterly numb.


I couldn't even feel the cold, nor the warmth. Everything was neutral.


As I got on the bus, I sat on the furthest back. And there I tried to hurt myself, but I didn't feel anything; which was weird.


I gulped and tried pinching myself, but nothing.


I shook my head as I started to think about harming myself with a razor.


No, Rhyan... You quit, remember? Don't... Don't do it... It's not worth it.


Minutes later, the bus stopped near my school, so I got off and walked torturously slowly just so I won't have to be too early.


But someone just had to see me...


And it wasn't just someone...


It had to be one of the Russians'.


"Rhyan?" Aleksander's voice caught my attention, so I turned around and saw him with a confused, angry face.


I gulped. "Yeah?" My voice wasn't the usual feigning happiness; but it was the normal voice where it was filled with sadness.


"What happened yesterday?" He asked gruffly.


I shook my head and turned around.


But then he wasn't going to go back without a fight. So he grabbed me and forced me to face him. "What did you do to Nathan?" He was clearly mad, which is what I don't understand at all.


I did nothing to Nathan.


Can't he see our difference? He could take me down anytime, so what the heck is his problem?


"Nothing," I said rather harshly.


"You did something to Nathan, and he won't tell me... But I know it's about you." He hissed.


"Then ask him." My tone was emotionless, like I didn't give a single care. And honestly, that's how I felt... But I don't know why. It was... weird. I didn't want to not care... I wanted to care, but my mind was telling me not to.


I then left him, as he stared dumbly at him. I dragged my almost lifeless body to the lockers just to place and get some things I had inside.


But of course, someone had to show up again.


"Rhyan," his voice was coated with sadness and frustration. I turned around and saw dark circles under his beautiful eyes.


I wanted to feel worried, but I couldn't.


And it was weird...


I couldn't feel anything in terms of touch, and I couldn't feel anything in terms of emotion.


I was frigid.


"Nathan," I said normally.


"Why?" He asked, only making me raise my brows. I looked around the hallway and only saw about five students walking somewhere, just passing by.


"Why... what?"


"What don't I have?"


I smile faintly. "You have everything."


"But why won't you give me a chance?"


I scoffed. "We only met, Nathan."


But that's not the only reason...


"Who gives a shit anyway? I like you, you like me... Why not be together?"


"Because I'm not a cheap lay," I hissed.


I know he didn't just want me to be laid, but I couldn't help it. I needed to get away from him. I had to.


I may have not been hurting, but I know I would've if I felt it. But that's what have been bothering me... I couldn't feel a thing.


"Is that what you think I'm going to do to you? Sleep with you, and ditch you?" He sneered. "I guess you don't know me enough."


Where's the pain? Why can't I feel it? I would've been crying now...


I smirked sarcastically. "Yeah, 'cause we've been best friends ever since we were a baby." And then it faltered. "Of course I don't know you. So don't give me that I guess you don't know me enough speech. It's sickening."


With that, I wanted so badly to dramatically walk away, but he had just to be so cliché and pull me forcefully, crashing his lips against mine.


I tried so hard to push him away, but I couldn't.


He was too strong.


So I gave in.


But the kiss was nothing more to me.


It was something that didn't mean anything.


Because I couldn't feel it.


The sparks I used to feel when he touched me, the butterflies that used to flutter in my stomach when he kissed me...


Nothing.


I was empty.


I had nothing.


I was worthless.



____

Y'all are cray cray, but I love you guys!  DON'T HATE ME. XX

 

 HE IS NOT A SHEEEE.

 AND NOOOO, HE IS NOT DEAD. JUST RESEARCH ABOUT THAT CONDITION. I JUST ADDED SOME TWIST TO IT.

 

Wow. You guys sure love to CAPSLOCK. 

Note: The Last Kiss will not be continued  I'm sorry Angel for wasting your efforts. Maybe one day I'm gonna rewrite that. Because I don't like it. Dani dies by the way— so I have to rewrite it in a new thread.  Next time~~ after I finish with BM: Violet's Revenge.