Sorry, sorry! I'm really busy! CASSY's POV The whispers...haunting. My name was bouncing off every wall of the school, echoing, tickling everyone's ears. The hushed tones, hidden by the fleshy palms of someone's hand, the rumors spreading like wildfire, all about me. I clutched my orange binder closer to me, as if it were a shield to all the stares. My shoes squeaked as I made my way to the cafeteria. My eyes darted back and forth. Everyone was staring, yet every time I tried to meet someone's eyes, they ducked their head or rolled their eyes. I pushed the door open, and chatter filled my ears. I kept my head bent as I made my way to the cafeteria line. Grabbing a tray, I tucked my binder in the crook of my shoulder. "What'll it be Cassy?" the lunch lady asked, and by the sound of my name, the whole line hushed. Soon everyone was quiet, all judging eyes boring into my back. I gulped, and murmured, "J-Just the lasagna p-please." They watched. They watched as settled the plate on the red plastic tray. They watched when I got a bottle of water. They watched as I handed the money. They watched me walk over to a table at the back. The distance was long, and I urged my feet to walk faster. I didn't need telekinesis to know what everyone was thinking, or saying for that point. Zander and her broke up; she and Abi totally had a row. Poor her. Poor me. I lowered my tray on the table, and shakily sat down. Then I dared myself to actually look up. And when I did, there was a scuffle, and everyone turned away, though it stayed silent and I know they were still peeking at me from the corner of their eyes. I had started picking at my lasagna, when a giggle erupted from the other side of the caf. For a millisecond, everyone's attention was directed to the blonde. "FREAK." she sputtered, smirking at me. Natalya. Looks like she moved back to the dark side. Then her whole table snickered, and the words, "Freak.", "Loser.", "****.", danced around the room, and I did all I could do to hold back the tears. BAM. "SHUT UP." a clear, audible voice said, louder than the rest, and I was suddenly aware of the three shadows hovering over my table. "All you wannabes, just shut up. God, leave her alone, will you?" Brittany's authoritative queen-bee tone silenced everyone. "Hey, hun," she smiled at me, sliding her tray and herself beside me. The blond twins sat across me, and each offered me smiles. The whole cafeteria population was still staring at us, and Brittany rolled her eyes, "WHAT are you staring at? Huh?" Everyone's gaze dropped, and slowly, they resumed whatever they were doing. Gradually, a laugh sounded, and the chatter rose, and soon, everyone was minding their own business. Sure, there were a few stolen looks at our table, but it's better than complete silence. Then the most horrible, unthinkable, earth-shattering thing happened. Alexander walked in. With Auvrey. DUNDUNDUNNNN~ So most of your classes are ending right? Well mine's starting up in a few weeks! :0 So I'm sorry if I may not be able to update that much. I'll be really busy. COMMENTS, CRITIQUE!
NOOOO omg...Cassy had to show him the diary thing hos "sis" kept Zander CANT be with her he HAS to be with Cassy
Now I'm not the person to critique much but some people say it helps so I'll do it. I like the describing tone that you used. The flavorful words aren't weak but yet there still not overpowering. All grammar points and mechanics seem to be in shape. The topic and idea is lovely and it grabs the readers attention. All in all, I find nothing wrong with this story. BUMP!