alright guys this is the update ._. lol comment! Jason was looking at himself in the mirror. He was tall, had shaggy black hair and a chiseled face. He was taller than his mom but, of course she could still punish him. He was 16! He shouldn't even be grounded... It was only a couple of weeks ago when his little sister's boyfriend Landon had come up to him at lunch. "Hey Jason, a few guys and I want to cut class and go graffiti the lockers here. You in?" Jason wasn't a bad guy, but he knew vandalizing lockers would give him something entertaining to do. "You bet." Landon smirked and walked away. After lunch, Jason stood by Landon's locker and waited for him. When Landon came he had already gotten the spray paint. "You ready?" Jason nodded and he started painting on the lockers. What he didn't realize was that Landon and his friends had already left. When the Principal came, Jason was the only one there. He was sent to the office and his mom was called. She was pissed. "Jason, how could you do this?! We are going to have a serious talk when we get home..." Jason rolled his eyes. He knew his mother's threats were meaningless. She was just making a show for the Principal. When they got home, Leslie was eating some leftover pasta in the kitchen. "Mom I'm goi-..." His mom had cut him off. "You are grounded for 2 months Jason." "Mom you're not serious.. I never get grounded." "Well now you are. And you can expect to keep getting grounded if you don't shape up." Jason groaned and stormed up to his room. 'Damn, this sucks', he thought to himself. For the next two weeks it was just Jason locked up in his room. Bit today was going to be different. He went downstairs and got his board. As he was about to leave Leslie stopped him. "Where are you going?" She asked. Why should he even tell her? It was her boyfriend who had gotten her into this trouble in the 1st place... He sighed and smiled. "I'm going to go skate with some friends.. I'll be back home later." "You know you're still grounded right? Mom is going to kill you when she finds out..." He smirked. "So there's no need for her to find out right?" Leslie smiled and let him go. He got to the skate park and he saw Landon there. He got mad. "Hey, that wasn't cool leaving me like that the other day. I got blamed for something you and your stupid friends planned!" Landon laughed. "Dude, you were stupid enough to fall for it!" Jason threw a punch and hit Landon in the face. Landon hit him back in the stomach. Jason toppled over and Landon kept beating him up. His whole body was numb now. Landon was a monster now. Jason got up but he kept falling over. None of that mattered to Landon. He gave Jason another blow to the stomach and he fell down hitting his head on the hard cement. Jason couldn't even feel anything now. He was just thinking about how stupid he was for not staying home. How would Leslie react? Would she even care? Jason could see Landon as he ran away. That kid was an asshole. He just left him there. Jason could feel his eyes starting to close. His mouth tasted of blood. He was probably covered in it. Jason tried to hold on to his last piece of life, but it was too late. As he was about to take his last breath, Jason wished for something... As he closed his eyes, all he could see was white. He wasn't scared, sad or mad anymore. He was calm. When he couldn't take it anymore, he gave his hand to Death and became Nothing... Uhm this is so long and I'm sorry >.< but please tell me what you think? ^.^ k love you all DJ
This is really good!! My eyes actually watered a little on the first part when Leslie heard her brother died! Keep up the good work!
Hey DJ! It's really good! All that I can say is to put more description. In the place and such. And when describing the feelings, make it more intense. Build it up. So instead of, "He got mad" it could be like, "He could feel the anger bubbling inside of him." or something like that! Other than that, it's great! Continue!