Locked Up! The strangers took Sally out of school.They drove until try came unto an old house.It was dirty,stinky,and old. "What do u want from me?!"asked Sally wriggling to get free. Josh followed everywhere the strangers went. I think they want the red diamond though Josh. Josh learned a few moves from his karate class last ten years. When Josh saw a man,Josh punched and kicked him in the face.There were only three men.Josh could get Sally out.Josh did a few moves.When he got the key,he unlocked the door from where Sally was. "Josh!"exclaimed Sally. "Sally!"Josh exclaimed too.Josh untied her and then hugged her.
Being Free "Wait,how did u get the key?"asked Sally. "I learned fee karate moves from my karate class last ten years,and I got the key so I unlocked u,"said Josh. "Oh Josh.Thank u for saving me!"sai Sally. "Sally?Do....Do u want to be my...my girlfriend?"asked Josh holding Sally in the wrist. "Yes,"said Sally softly. Josh leaned in and kissed Sally.It was not a mouth to mouth,it was a kiss . "Let's get u home,"said Josh smiling. "Okay,"said Sally.Josh drove Sally home. "Jake,mind if I go your house?"asked Sally.Josh shook his head and said,"Not at all." Sally smiled and went back inside the car.They listened to a cool song.
Oh my god dude this sucks even though I didn't read it yeah how does it feel I like your writing so go shove off before you critizise
Samantha Sally bumped into a girl named Samantha.She was usually called Sam. "Watch it,ugly person!"hissed Sam. "Ugh!Why is everybody like calling me names!"said Sally.Josh came and took care of the problem. "U better go!"yelled Josh. "Make me!"said Sam. "I'll make u,"said Josh putting up a fist in front of Sam.But Josh was too late because Sam's boyfriend James punch him in the stomach. "U better watch what ur saying,dude,"said James and he kept on fighting him.Josh got a turn.He got James arm and flipped him over.People were coming over saying,"Fight!Fight!Fight!!"but Sam and Sally stood them up. "U better warn ur boyfriend!"yelled Sam. "Oh,sure I will.If u warn ur !"yelled Sally.Sam rolled her eyes and said,"Ugh!"Sam walled away and Sally said,"Josh,are u okay?"@sked Sally. "Yeah,I'm fine,"said Josh wiping blood from his nose.
Nurse "I'll take u to the nurse,"said Sally. When they got there,the nurse wasn't there,so they tried the office.Principal Park,Sam,and James were there.They sat down on a chair. "Why are u guys here?"whispered Sally. "We're not talking to u!"yelled Sam. "U just did,"said Sally. "Ugh!"hissed Sam. "Just tell me,"said Sally.James and Sam nodded at each other. "Jesse told a boy that we fought,"said Sam telling the story. "Oh.Wait,why didn't we get in trouble?"asked Josh. "We donot know,"said James. "Look,we're sorry,"said Sally. "For what?"asked Sam lying. "Really?"asked Sally confusingly. "Haha,I'm just kidding.Its ok.We're sorry too,"said Sam. Sally and Sam smiled at each other.And Josh and James just did nothing. "Okay.Problem solved!Now I have to give u boys something,"said Principal Park.He reached into his pocket and took out it a little box.James and Josh didn't know what it was. Can u guess?
Ring Principal Park motioned for James and Josh to go to him.When they did,Principal Park whispered,"It's a ring,but don't tell.Surprise them when ur at their house.That's a hint boy." "Okay,"they both whispered back getting the little box. "So,what is it?"asked Sally and Sam. "Nothin,"James and Josh said. The girls looked at them confusingly. "What?"asked Sally. "I do not know,"said Sam shrugging. The boys were surprised the principal game them a ring for their girlfriend. Principals wouldn't let them have a ring for their girlfriend at another school! Ya guessed it!
Relationships Sally and Josh were holding hands.Even Sam and James. "So,what've u got?"Sally asked Josh. "I can't tell u Sally,"said Josh. "Why?"asked Sally. "I dont know.The principal said we can't.Sorry Sally,"said Josh. "Fine!If it's for another girl,it's over!"yelled Sally running away. "I gotta go see her James,"said Sam.She looked at Josh and nodded. Sally was in the bathroom crying.Sam went over to her. "Sally,"said Sam softly. "Leave me alone!"yelled Sally. "Be right back,"said Sam. Sam ran outside web she came to James and Josh. "James!U gotta tell me what is in the box.Please.So I can explain it to Sally,"said Sam. "It's a ring that is in the box Sam,"said James. "For me?"asked Sam. "Yep,"said James. "Okay now I know.Thnx James!"said Sam."Noe Josh give me ur box that has the ring in it so I can explain to her. "Okay,here u go,"said Josh handing out the box. "Thnx!"shouted Sam running to the bathroom. "Sally,here,"said Sam handing out the little box to Sally.Sally wiped her tears. "What's this?"asked Sally getting it. "There's something inside it.Open it slowly,"said Sam. "Okay,"said Sally.She opened the top slowly and saw silver ring.She gasped . "It's a ring?"asked Sally. "Yes.Josh gave it to u Sally.Not another girl,"said Sam smiling.Sally laughed. "Tell Josh thnx and sorry,"said Sally sadly. "Okay.I will,"said Sam running back.
A bit over-the-top on dialouge... You should have some descriptions of their surroundings, and a bit more detail into how they speak and move. That's my 2 cents, continue writing however you want