Spanking a child and "abusing/torturing" is two completely different things. How to stop anybody from doing anything regardless the age is psychological. To stop a person to from doing something you relate it to something negative that the person wants less than they want to do whatever it is that they shouldn't be. Smokers have been known to wear a rubber band and when they think about smoking they pop their wrist (this adds discomfort to the thought of smoking" A light spanking is used to let the child know that when they do something they shouldn't do they will experience discomfort because at a young age they don't comprehend a "stern lecture" A lot of people don't believe in that these days and that's why so many teens run wild. I know you don't believe in that so the other options are very similar but less affective due to the fact that most adults are so stressed wi everyday life of work and relationships etc that they don't follow through. Taking the child's favorite toy is a great alternative but the problem is... The child then throws a fit and most parents get over stressed then give the toy back so the child will stop screaming/crying. A way I found that works amazing that requires no violence or taking a way of toys is make them stand with their nose against a wall (not in a corner but against a flat wall) with their arms by their side. Believe it or not a spanning would be much more pleasurable It's a trial an error because not all children are the same. Try a few things out and when you find the one that seems it has the most affect stick to it like a life or death type thing. Children are molded at that age by your actions and lead them into their teen years. If they know they can get away with things and that you're only gonna apply the "discomfort" some times they will continue to do things and just suck it up and deal with the punishment when and if it happens. A therapist is never a bad idea regardless the age but remember they are kids so you need to comfort them through the process and if the therapist wants one on one time then so be it but if not be there through the whole process with them reminding them that you love them the whole time. I don't personally have kids but I've helped raise 5 nephews and a niece all of which lived with me for 2-3 years of their lives. I hope words are of some help
Lol spankings and ass whoopings are the same, just depends on how you were raised. My granny spanked us with Dishrags when she was cleaning and "switches" but she's southern. It is was never hard considered we were children. Also depends on where you live as well. I live in Illinois, spankings and whatnot is not considered abuse if the child doesn't have bruises. In Indiana, spankings are wrong in any way, shape, or form. I don't find anything wrong with them. But too each their own.
If the kid is white give him all the help you can. If he's black or Mexican don't worry blacks always got the hood and em mexi's the lawnmower ^.^
Get the school to testify. Also I would get that restraining order checked out. In no way should he be around him at any point in time. That is breaking the order. I believe the mother can get into trouble too. You need to speak to someone as soon as you can & press about that order. I think you may be on grounds to take the child just bcuz of that or his father at least I should say. If things are going on at home you can only do so much until that is fixed hun. Hate to say it like that. Out of sports I would agree football is best tho.
Corporal punishment is tricky. It works for some people and it doesn't for others. I have friends who turned out fine and laugh about it. I didn't turn out well from it. But I think it's because my dad would actually take his anger out on me when it happened and would just lose control. That is violence and it's very scarring for a kid. If corporal punishment is to be done, it has to be clear and controlled. However, in this kid's case, from what I know, corporal punishment will not help because he will attribute physical pain to the violence he is seeing. He needs a way to channel that negative energy somewhere else so he grows up learning that violence is not okay. Martial arts works because you're taught to respect one another and to defend before you attack. And attacking is only used in defense and not to inflict pain. I'm no parent so I wouldn't know raising styles but I was a kid once and I know what scarred me and what I'd never expose my kid to if ever.
LittleBirdyBlue I myself have learnt and taught karate. The ckub that i would enroll him in have proformed miracles in the past. With chikdren who need to learn the place of violence and respect of others But i think he needs to be i a home where violence isnt tolerated for it to work properly HarleyQuin Personally i do believe smacking is a parents choice, i do not like it peronally, but then where does smacking and abuse meet? At bigbadwolf stated its about control, but that control can be very hard. In the past my son was spanked for being bad, however the person doing it had/has no control and bordered on abuse. Brad also said it well, there is differnt types of smacking, Too me because of the issues with control its not a valid technique, to me, if someone is willing to smack their child then when things get worse they wont stop at just smacking. Foot I 100% agree with you. There is a difference between the two and two different definitions. Problem is the lines are so often blurred Faye The school has already called dhs up asking for something to bendone about his home life, that is why we finally have a chance to do something about it, in the past we never had enough support or proof. It has been agreed apon by myself, my partner (biological father ) and the mother that violence isnt the way to go in straightening out my sons behaviour.
Disclaimer: I don't have any kids but I had something similar to this in my little brother. Often younger kids act out looking for attention. And traveling between two households can cause the child to feel not noticed, which grows as a new parent or siblings is introduced. I suggest sitting down with the other parent and coming up with the same plan to try and stop this behavior as two different punishments won't be as affective. Hope this helps a little