Okay, but seriously. Deetaaailllll and Graaaamaaarrrr and Sppppeeeellllliiiinnnngggg! Teeta to da dunce! Deeeeetaaiiiilll!!! Graaamaaar!! Speeeelllinnnnnnngggg!!!!!
L001< n00b 4s00n 4s 1 s74r7 \/\/r171ng L11< thus no1 will like it bcause its not real language that isn't good grammar...
That checked off spelling and detail but you lack of the grammar we seeketh of dear dunce, fair well to Camelot!
Chapter 5: The Arrival Harry and Hermione were still stuck in the storage room when they heard footsteps. The steps were loud and heavy, and they just frightened the young wizards even more. After a few more bouts of footsteps, the door bursted open and Hagrid pushed himself through the doorjamb. He picked up the limp body called Hermione and whispered to Harry to come along. "What was that 'bout?" Hagrid quietly asked Harry. "I don't know. We came here for food then..." Harry pointed to Hermione. "Ah, the ol' vampy works here? I remember pushin' him into that small coffin so many years 'go." As they walked out of the restaurant, they saw a limp figure in front of the counter-- the vampire. He'd been knocked out.
Mhmm. But no more modern stuff like mc donalds. This is Harry Potter for Pete's sake! Turn it into Hogsmead or something. And make it more... Harry potter like. And I am starting to like this.
Thanks. P.S.- I only used McDonald's because I couldn't think of anything else. (I've only read the first book )
ANNOUNCEMENT TIME! Ok guys, as I've decide to actually put effort into this now, I'm gonna put this on hold until I read some more of the books so I can get more knowledge about the wizard world and stuff If wanted, I could retype the old chapter and add more detail. Just saying ;p
This is better ; and yeah you could just wikipedia it. And make sure to include some of the house or make reference to one of the books so we can connect to something. For example: harry was under his invisibility cloak when he saw two vampires pass by. Or something you know? Anything related to the books. And HaRRY Potter is awesome i LOVE it so I out of everyone would be excited to read a different version of H.P ; make it good!!