great quotes of the day

[ninja_puppy]

Ok just thought of this one so better not be know by any one 

Life lesson: chugging straight spiced rum does NOT in fact make you a Captain. It does make you a bumbling shit faced idiot who chugged straight spiced rum though

 

[-AC-blockey-]

I don't always forget my wife and I's anniversary, but when I do, she goes ape shit and withdraws sex for a month.

 

[xchaosx_]

If I had a flower for ever time I thought of you I could walk in my garden forever

 

[ninja_puppy]

My dads quote of the day

All I'm sayin is If she can't understand mans inherent need to teabag them what's the use of even talking to her?

 

[ninja_puppy]

Shes hot and Australian when we finished I covered her boobs with an American flag and said "I claim these boobs for America"