I think the supernatural would be a bit too typical… this story's good enough, with it being an incest story and all. If you decide to make it a supernatural story, though, you should make the character something other than a vampire/werewolf/demon etc, it should be different I love this story, by the way
IN THE PRESENT Olivia's Point of View ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>< The sound of James' fist coming in contact with Dylan's high cheekbone made me flinch. Stomaching the events that had just happened was impossible. I couldn't deal with digesting this information. My body vibrated uncontrollably as I continued to get into the fetal position. I couldn't even manage to cry. I just stared into space with hollow eyes. I hyperventalated, took a deep breath, and screamed a blood-curdling scream. I continued to breath in and out deeply. It was all I could think to do. James stared at Dylan wildly. Dylan just looked up at his father in disbelief. ========= Soon enough, everyone had hurried down to see me naked, shaking, and crying, Dylan holding the bruised side of his face face, and James still frozen. "WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HERE?" My Mom's witch-like voice pierced through my ears. I surprise myself when I replied saying, "Dylan just tried to... He just tried to... HE JUST TRIED TO RAPE ME." I cried histerically starting out as a whisper and crescendoing into full out screaming. For a long time, my family just stood there in disbelief. Even James who had seen this stared at me dumbfounded. Benji was the first to react by going over to Dylan and giving him a satisfying smack. Then, silently, him and Marisa came to my aid. Benji lifted me up lovers' leap style as Marisa covered my bare body with the blanket that was on the couch. Mom also broke out of her trance, but instead of coming to her own daughter's aid, she went to James' and Dylans. In her world blood was not thicker than water. That was the last thing I saw before I decided to close my eyes instead of watching and accumulating more disappointment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I woke up to find myself under the blankets in my bed fully clothed in my red silk Victoria's Secret pajamas. For that moment, I was completely content until memories of what had happened came flooding back into my system. 'Let's see the damage.' I sighed. I sat up on my bed and lifted my button up shirt up, exposing my stomach. Repulsive maroon patches of color speckled around my rib cage and down to my belly button. I poked at the splotches only to find myself moaning in pain. I didn't realize that Dylan had hurt me so much. As soon as I heard footsteps coming in the direction of my room, I dropped the hem of my shirt, lied face-down, and pulled my blanket over my body up to my neck. The doorknob turned and moments later, my mother was in my room. I had memorized the specific sound of everyone's footsteps. I started to breath deeply to simulate actual sleeping. It pained me to lay down this way because of the pressure that wa being applied to my stomach. The door clicked as it closed again. "I know you aren't sleeping, you little sl*t," she spat with hatred. Hearing this, I stopped breathing and refused to give up. "Fine. You don't need to show me you're listening because I know you are." Her voice suddenly became sickeningly sweet. "Dylan's at the hospital with you brother, Benji. James and Marisa are still home. Don't think I don't know what actually happened, wh*re. You are quite the little actress, Liv. Nice try. You seduced Dylan and went down to the basement like the gold digger you are and when James found out, you played the victim. You sicken me. Who knew I would have such a b*tchy daughter? Like I always say, having children like you three was the biggest mistake I ever made. It's so nasty how you tried to get with your own stepbrother. It almost makes me laugh, how desperate you are. Well, you've always been this drama queen that loved attention. LIAR. I don't understand why James is so fond of you, but know that he's the only reason I'm keeping you here." With that and a slight chuckle, she left. By the time she said "actress," my eyes had started burning with tears. I waited for her to travel out of earshot until I let go of the breath that I had been holding during her monologue. I immediately started hiccuping. A stream of tears were being absorbed by my pillow. I curled back up in the fetal position and for a long time, I cried. I cried for anger. I cried for pain. I cried for love. I cried for the past and the future. I cried for the pitiful life that was mine. I cried. I swallowed thickly, finding that I could barely breath. My short breaths became shorter and shorter as my tears poured out of my eyes furiously while I was experiencing what they called a panic attack.
Awwe. That's sad. Her mum's a freak. But now for the feedback : I loved this update, you used a lot of descriptive words this update! It was wonderful. Space it out by making it paragraphs and it will be perfect. Maybe the next update could be the mom's point of view. Thatd be interesting!
I love how the mother is calling her daughter the slut when she's the one fucking people. >.> And dont bypass, it's bound to get locked.
@ Cookie. If you look at this, please dont lock the tread. She didn't know. From now on, for the f word use like duck. Make it into different words, we'd understand!
oh... I didn't know that censoring only one letter to know which curse is being said was also under the category of bypassing... I'll stop then.
I love the story but I hate how Olivia didn't do anything haha cause if my mom said that to me I'd be arguing with her hahaha but I love it!