bet. these broken hearts like contagious disease, stay setting me back to outrageous degrees; her intent - so clearly malicious with ease girl, i'm try'n not to be vicious so please i even wrote it in his awful stylism and still made it double-rhyme :roll: shìts easy as hell he's just inept
No, that's you after you and your dad get done playing, "where it goes, no one knows, until it fills the holes," in the dark.
Not my stylism, and the way I type/wrote it isn't awful. I'm not inept. Am I posed to write country/pop songs, when I can't relate?
Ahem... She has mad cake like a baker is a double entree and also reflects upon the rap's title as cake means ass and money. She has a phat/big ass, but she extorted the narrator out of money. Bakers bake lots of cakes and professional bakers have lots of money. It also fit in with the last two lines. This was inspired by someone who makes a lot of sad songs.
I figured. Double Entendres are common and usually done in a corny way in a lot of today’s rap world and since you litterally wrote ass so close to it, it made sense in my mind that you were trying to pick back up on the money part. I still think you could have delivered it better, but that’s just one persons opinion. I thought it was funny how people thought they were tryna put me up on game tho. Slow af. I do agree with the advice Kitten was suggesting to you though... it’s ok not to rhyme all the time. Prodigy of Mobb Deep made a habit out of it. It just wasn’t clear that you weren’t trying to rhyme in that way because you didn’t pick up any of the syllable sounds phonetically in between, which I think would have been an even better stylistic fix than changing the end words of the sentence to make them rhyme there. It also would have added a little variety to your flow. Internal rhyme is allowed and used correctly.... very effective.... give it a try sometime. Happy writing man.