Downplayed

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by *AdamGontier (01), Apr 18, 2012.

  1. I'm testing font effects for better reading.
     
  2. I like your story like a lot it has the bases of a really good story, but you need to find synonyms of the words melancholy and belligerent. It just feels like you use them to much. Also I love your dialogue:D
     
  3. Yes I agree but I think it could use some more foreshadowing
     
  4. Melancholy is just sad, I like using the big words, and belligerent is just aggressive, so I'm just using the fancy vocabulary. Lol
     
  5. What about some more foreshadowing it could make it better
     
  6. Update plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz plz
     
  7. Great! I thought to myself. What could she possibly want from me? Can anyone explain this? Please?

    "Tell her I'm not here."

    "He's not here. I'm sorry." She said giving a dirty look.

    I walked up to my room, and sat on the bed. I started to go into deep thought. I ended up sitting on the edge of my bed hours on end just thinking.

    About what wasn't clear, it was blurry in my mind. It was like, I was thinking about what I was thinking about. I can't explain how I feel. It's as if I am angry, sad, and dare say happy at the same time.

    Either way, I was confused. I finally snapped out of my trance. I lied down and drifted to sleep. What do I do?

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    Short, I know... It's something.
     
  8. Yay I love it it's great