It wasn't long until Friday night came along, the day I pack for my trip. My chance to really get close to Jamar, we were already going to the same school, well almost. I was hoping to mention my little trip out to California hopefully this coming summer. I needed to find something he liked; music, clothing designers or anything and bribe him into it. Of course I wasn't just going to go out to California to just rob the rich community. I wanted a fun trip, sight seeing, shopping and of course nightlife. Jamar and I being the oldest had the better advantage to most of these things. I had my whole plan wrote down, all I have to do is sweet talk them into going. My plan is to get fake I.D's so everyone is twenty-one, get everything we need to break into the rich community and go about seeing California in everyone's way. I knew Lamar, Nathaniel and Dalton would be the easiest ones to sweet talk. Lamar always wanted to go to a strip club, Nathaniel wants to see inside a night club and Dalton just wants the California weed and girls. I knew those three were the ones to have a definite answer of yes. Caleb, Jamar, Ethan and Jacob would be tricky because either they don't like heights or the thought of Cali scares them. Where's Casey in all this? Not going, there's always a party pooper in a group of friends and it's Casey. Plus, he'll be first to break and run his mouth, not to mention he looks too young to pass for twenty-one. I didn't want to be the only girl in this group, so I was going to phone Halie; a friend of mine who recently moved to Cali for a better job. If she knew anything about California it was going to be her, she also loves the rich life. Bringing in at around eight hundred dollars a night and she works every night but Sunday. She would be more than interested in doing what I have planned. With her being twenty-two she was going to be the one getting us the fake identity cards. It wasn't hard, all we would have to do is give Halie a picture of us where we're not smiling and she would give them to her connection.
I found myself anxious during the night, too excited about seeing the Wake Forest campus. I was secretly hoping he would ask me if I wanted to party before he took me home this Sunday. I wanted to look amazing but not like I was going to a snobby art auction where people wear cashmere dresses and the "finest silk from Aspen." I wasn't going to look like a damn fool in a satin floor length ball gown, besides it's just a college. Even though I read only a handful of diary enteries from my mother, I had this sense or feeling I knew so much about her. From the pictures I had of her, she was gorgeous. She looked like a sweet, caring, fun and outgoing person. I knew my dad must have really been lucky to have her. The only thing I really regret is being so young, not even remembering my parents. I regret not being able to see them and they not seeing me grow up. I wonder if I grew up according to how they pictured me and my future. I'll never truly know if they would be proud of me, I know they're not considering the things I do that I find fun. My first parents loved me, I know that for a fact. Isaac, my dad gave me up for adoption because I wouldn't have a mother figure in my life. As a kid you never have a worry or care in the world. You never have to think about the bad things, parents are supposed to take care of what scares you and what can harm you. You always run to mom when you get scared and dad is there to protect you. As you grow older, without mom you don't have anyone. Isaac gave me up for adoption for one reason, a better life for me. To keep me away from the people who harmed and killed my mother. To give me two parents that would love me like family even though they didn't birth me. Dad gave me so much and I would do anything to have him back.
Seven in the morning; I'm groggy, mad that I'm up at such an ungodly hour and nervous. I had my bag packed for an extra day, just in case, I had took the time to straighten my hair even. I was going to look perfect, I had no make-up, a button up red, blue and white plaid shirt, dark super skinny jeans and black, silver and snake skin pattern sandals. I had this outfit picked out when I first closed my eyes to go to bed. With Casey asleep and my parents working, I could rest assure that I would be gone. If Casey needed me, I was at a friend's house. Jamar called when I watched him pull up from the living room window behind the couch. "I'm coming," I picked up my bag and quietly walked out, making sure the door was secured and locked. Getting a clear view of Jamar's SUV it was a shiny black Tahoe. Much bigger than I really seen the first day but eyes play tricks on you in the dark. I smiled, excited to see him, "hey!" I called to him. He grinned as I hopped in, "ready to see the biggest partying campus of your college life?" He asked me like it was even a question. "If it's such a partying school why doesn't a guy like you have a girlfriend?" A perfect question for me to ask, anyways. Hell, this guy could have a finance and chances are I'd rip out her spleen. "Well, most the girls that go here are complete drunks or major changers. I like girls book smart as well as street smart, a girl that's fun to be with all around and a girl who doesn't change her major as often as she changes boyfriends." I'm street smart, well at least I think I am.
Jamar is definitely what I want in a guy, as to what he thought of me, I had no idea. If anything I would guess a friend, but only he knew and that's a question too early to be asked. My eagerness and excitedness was causing me to think forward, imaging us having kids. The moment that I knew that if he could read my mind and see us having hot, sloppy sex, would call me psycho. I had to shake off the images and focus on something else. "You're awful quiet, Zada. Something wrong?" Yeah, the fact I'm picturing him naked but I wasn't going to say that. "Oh, just nervous. I haven't really been touring campuses." "It's nothing to worry about, it's sort of like high school in a way once you get used to everything. Some teachers prefer lectures over teaching, but it's mostly certain classes where they do that, depends on your classes." "Jamar, I'm not nervous about schools, I have something else on my mind." I was even nervous to bring it up and talk to him about it. "Well, tell me about it, Zada. If it's bothering you, I'll listen." He sounded calm now but I was waiting for the reaction of 'are you out of your mind?' "Well, I want to go on a roadtrip to California. I already know Lamar will be in, along with Dalton and Nathaniel. It'll be a summer trip and Casey isn't going to know about it." "California, huh? It would be nice to get out of here and see some place new, yeah, let's go. But, why there, if I may ask?" Finally relived that Jamar was in on going, I had him. "Well, you may not want to go after this, I want to break in to the rich homes, find Rolex's, jewelry, clothes, anything, live rich and see California. I have a friend that can get us I.D cards and she'll definitely be in." I couldn't tell much about his expression, he didn't seem to have one plus he was driving. "You want to steal from rich people? How are you going to get past all that security? Why them anyway?" He had a point, security for rich peoole is like top notch, it would be like trying to sneak in to the White House. "I have an idea for that: ski masks, gloves, shower caps and those booties that doctors wear." "Zada, I don't know, it's risky and dangerous. You know how much jail time we'll all get if this fails?" He was right, I never thought about getting caught.
"Think about it like this, Jamar; if you could have a Rolex or even a pair of Louis Vuiitton shoes, without having to pay thousands of dollars for either, would you?" "Zada, why don't you just take their credit cards, use them in California then go back home?" That sounded a lot better to me than having to wear a biohazard suit. "I see what you're saying, use the cards in California so police think that it's a criminal from there. They can't track us from home if we cut them up when we're done before we go." I was smiling on the inside, Jamar actually is helping me. "We could get enough to give everyone that goes and that way everyone gets whatever they want." The plan was perfect, it could work better than my own. Jamar's plan sounded so, so flawless that it was possible for it to work.
"Jamar, why do you want to help me do this? I mean, the only reason I want to is just to be rich, it's not like they're going to notice things gone." I just want the finer things in life, was that so bad? Jamar was more than excited than to happy help me, probably more than Lamar would. "Zada, I'm in a big drug dealing circle if you will, I deal marijuana and cocaine. No, I don't do coke, I just deal for the money. I bring home thousands of dollars easily everyday and tax free." My mouth was wanting to drop down wide open, not only was I completely shocked he was drug dealing but at how much money he was making. I could see myself getting in with Jamar, getting the best weed and having him teach me everything I needed to know about the game. It was easily beginning to get more interesting spending time with Jamar. I could see it happening very often from now on, "I want in, I want to learn
With Jamar already dealing cocaine and marijuana, plus making enough to move to Paris. He could buy the fanciest house and still have money left over to pay off the mortgage up front and a Ferrari. I didn't see why he would want to rob anyone. The only two reasons I was in this was for money and to find the answers to the questions I had about my dad. I already know a lot but it's just that one thing I couldn't put my finger on. You could call it closure but to me it just didn't fit or sound right. Looking at pictures I gathered from the house I grew up in, I felt like I had a tight bond with my dad. I was his first, only and last daughter he ever had but part of me believed he was still living. I had scenario after scenario playing in my head, one that seemed to play more than others; he faked his death so he wouldn't be heartbroken from a chance encounter and moved out of state. No one understood my reasoning or determination to find my father. They just haven't been in my shoes to experience what I have, I wasn't trying to sound like I was the only one with problems, hell, I knew better. What would you do if you had a doubt in your mind about your father still being alive? Try to find him or blow it off? I wanted answers so desperately bad I couldn't put it in words. "Lamar told me about your real family, if it helps any, my father died when I was young. I don't even remember him, really. I don't know how you feel about this, but I don't think your father would have killed himself. He knew you were going to a great family, he wanted you to be happy and have two parents there for you, he couldn't do that alone." I warmly and happily smiled, he knew what I was going through. He lost a father and I lost both parents, one dead and the other questionable.