I read most of the entries on my mom talking about her relationship with my dad, I wanted to better understand her. Then I came across a diary entry that was shocking, Tasha was being mistreated and abused by Isaac's mom, Lori, my grandmother. The more I read the more I sobbed, the woman in my flashbacks and in my dreams wasn't a stranger, it was my mother. "What's wrong, Zay?" Casey rubbed my back and spoke caringly, I stood up with my hands over my face sobbing. I felt Casey pull me into his arms, he hugged me right, rubbing my back. "Sh-sh-she died, Casey. SHE DIED!" I screamed still sobbing. I couldn't talk for sobbing, what did my mom do to deserve getting beaten? "Zay, relax. Just calm down, you don't know for sure, you gotta finish the diary to know." Casey was right, she could still be alive, I could find her. "Why don't we go to bed? I have school in the morning, our parents will be home in thr morning too. You need your rest, it was a big day for you." I smiled at Casey, though he wasn't my biological brother I still love him like one. "Thanks, bro." I stood up to prepare for bed, he gave me another hug and told me goodnight. "If you need me, Zay, you know where I am." I smiled and waved at him as I closed my door.
I woke up the next morning to an empty house, Casey was at school and my second patents wouldn't be home until late tonight only to bring their work home with them. I sat on the cold, black leather chair trying to remember my youngest memory I had of my parents. The more I focused the farther back I could go, I sat with my eyes closed in deep thought and concentration. There I saw it, four year old me with my dad, I couldn't see much but I saw me putting my finger on my dads chest right on his heart. Young me didn't recognize the emotion my dad was expressing but I could now. His eyes, red and watery, his cheeks hot and his lips trying not to give in. Dad was purely heartbroken, no question about it, I could see dad walking away as a woman grabbed my hand, smiling at me. My eyes shot open and I ran to Casey's room in search for the diary. When I couldn't find it on the desk where we left it I started searching high and low in every room possible. I kicked the wall of the hallway in anger that it was nowhere in the house. I would wait for Casey to get home, Casey was going to meet the side of Zada she got from her father. I was bombarded with four dogs at my feet, my anger quickly subsiding with their cute playfulness. The tallest is Scooby, a white and black Great Dane, next to him is Minnie the brown Boxer, then there was Dally the Australian and German shepherd mix and finally Zeus the Boston Terrier. Scooby is my favorite, he could always tell when I was feeling down. Him and I grew up together, he is always at my side, he loved to lay on the couch and watch cartoons with me. I gave him belly rubs in return for him going in the kitchen to sneak us a cookie.
Yeah, this is my sisters acc. I sneak on this sometimes... Sshhh Thanks for the tip Fallen. It's a bad habit I don't catch a lot.
Note: if any of you want to see pictures of the characters, tell me which ones and I can have them ready in their own update. I'll give a list below: Zada Tasha Isaac Lamar Casey Jamar Nathaniel Dalton Caleb Enjoy this long update! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Casey, where is the book?!" I stood up demanding when he opened the door. I was more than angry by now after letting it set in, Casey looked at me with a mischievous smirk. "Calm down, Zay. I took it to school with me, I showed my friends." He smiled innocently at me while handing over the book. "You showed our friends how my family is fucked up?! Casey, really? Why would you do that to me?" I was beyond angry at Casey. "Do you get some kind of satisfaction out of humiliating others?" I continued. I jerked the book from his grasp, his face saddening as I stormed upstairs to my room. I locked my door, walked over to my bed, laid down and cried. I eventually cried myself to sleep, I was humiliated from my brother by that book that holds the answers to my family. Although I was nineteen and about to start college, Casey introduced me to his friends, just so I wouldn't feel as lonely. Some seventeen and the other half eighteen, at least I had friends to turn to that accepted me as one of their own. My best friend out of the group of six is Lamar, he's eighteen, soon to be nineteen. When we first met, I could sense we would be close friends, he gets me and I talk to him when I need someone. I have been starting to think that Casey gets jealous when he sees me with Lamar or hears me talking to him. I guess he thinks I'm going to corrupt Lamar if we ever got together. Casey told me not to ever date Lamar because Lamar likes to party probably as much as me. Lamar likes the free, handed out drugs at the parties, LSD, acid, weed and some drug I never heard of with the street name, Molly. Lamar, every time I ask him what Molly is won't tell me, just that I need to do it with him. He told me not to do no more than five, which has me really wanting to meet this so called Molly. I sat up from my bed rubbing my eyes, my laptops beeping had woken me from my slumber. I walked into my bathroom from a door in my room to take a Tylenol to ease the pain of my crying induced headache. I walked to my laptop, charging at my desk to see what all the beeping was about. A group chat started by Lamar who had invited me, typical Lamar starts these chats to tell everyone about a party he gets invited to. I type "what the fuck you guys, you woke me up," I rub my eyes again only to hear a million more beeps. I laughed at the responses: Lamar: Look who it is! [\color] Nathaniel: Hey, Zada. What's cookin' good lookin' ? [\color] Caleb: Haha, Nathaniel flirting with Zada is like a clown trying to get into law school. [\color] Dalton: Well, Caleb she is hot, at least give him credit for flirting. [\color] Lamar: She is my best friend, she might be the only girl in here but don't scare her away. No one likes a sausage fest. [\color] Me: Okay, enough. Nathaniel, you're funny, I'm fine. I'm just kinda upset that Casey showed you that diary from my real parents. [\color] Lamar agreed, he thought it was pretty low for any brother to do to a sibling. Lamar and I switched between group and private chat, him inviting me to the party this Saturday was in private. Nathaniel also sent me a private message, mainly to talk. He wanted to know that I was okay and hadn't hurt Casey. He cheered me up and made me forget about what happened between Casey and I. I was starting to like Nathaniel a little more than just a friend but not as much as I liked Lamar. My laptop beeped again as I was getting dressed, Lamar had added one of his college friends, Jamar. I put on white destroyed skinny jeans, a pink muscle tank top with the back in lace and my favorite pink Vans. I sat back down at the computer, having fun with my friends. Then, I had an idea, video chatting. I smiled to myself as I prepared to ask the group. When everyone agreed, I powered on my webcam and got ready while Lamar was going to invite us all. I watched the screen as one by one it beeped that someone had left the chat, then finally it was me. I was nervous by being seen on everyone's screen by seven people even though I knew all but one, Jamar. I could hear someone say, "she's gorgeous," it wasn't a voice I recognized so I knew it was Jamar. I blushed, smiled and said thanks. Jamar was like Lamar, funny, cute, kind of shy and made jokes. Jamar is only twenty and attending school at Wake Forest, the college I'm going to this fall. "So, Jamar, are you going to Larmar's party?" I blushed, hoping he would. I was into older guys and Jamar was beginning to be everything I found attractive. Him and Lamar both laughed, "it's his party, Zada." Lamar laughed again, I flipped him off. "Hold on, guys, I'm putting on my favorite song." I threw up both my middle fingers and stuck out my tongue. I scooted my chair back and plugged in my MP3 player into its speakers. I hit play and shuffle on my playlist tilted 'music' then walked back. "You listen to horrible music, Zay." Caleb commented from hearing Travis Porter in the background, I love rap and hip-hop, Caleb loves classic rock. I shrugged my shoulders and put on a face like I cared. "What song is this, Zada?" Lamar asked, he also likes the same music as me, but when it came to both of us I always had new stuff not even on the radio yet. "Ride Like That," I smiled, "it's new," I continued. While I was talking to everyone, Jamar was IM'ing me. He was shy to talk too much in the chat, he complimented me on my eyes, he has a apparent weakness for green eyes. The song shuffled to something saying, "it's gon' get you in trouble, oh, oh," I blushed and ran over to turn the song. In a rush to turn the song I had turned it up, I cussed at myself. "Leave it there, Zada. I like that song anyways," Lamar laughed at me. I looked over at my laptop screen and flipped off Lamar as I turned it off. I sent Lamar, Nathaniel and Jamar all an I.M asking if they wanted to hang out. Lamar said definitely but only if he could bring a few 'fun' things with him. Nathaniel agreed but chickened out when he found out that Lamar was bringing his own ideas of fun along with him. Jamar agreed to pick us both up, but we couldn't stay at his dorm. I decided where we would go while I waited to get picked up. We couldn't do anything here with Casey home, plus living in this suburb area, people watch the neighborhood like they are the FBI. I had it in my head that I would use Lamar to get to Jamar. It sounded evil but I'm so into older guys I would do anything to get him. From my window I seen a car pull up, I rushed downstairs, "Casey, I'm going to go hang out with Caleb, Dalton and Nathaniel." Casey waved bye to me, too busy on watching the football game to say anything or do anything else that involved his focus on anything but the game.
Lamar got out of the passenger seat for me to take it, I said thanks as I climbed in the SUV, I couldn't make out the model but it was small. I got in buckling up, "hey, Jamar," I said sweetly. He smiled at me, his smile shy but still friendly and genuine. "Hey, Zada. Are you, uhm... partying with us for the night?" Jamar asked nervously. I thought it was pretty cute and sweet that he was trying to make conversation with me. "Yeah, yeah I am. Lamar tells about all kinds of stuff he does when he parties, it sounds fun so I decided to join in." Jamar laughed along with Lamar. I was excited on the outside but inside I was freaking out, I had never even seen what weed looks like. The only drugs I take is Tylenol and Midol for when I strike the Red Sea and my uterus contracts, cuts off the blood supply and tries to kill itself. Half the time I would put on a show for Lamar to seem 'cool' but I never have been high. Lamar said he brought the 'fun' ones but they packed a serious punch; weed, acid and the infamous Molly. Jamar only did weed but said he would try only one Molly, I never even touched these drugs. I didn't want to blow my cover especially to Jamar, I had to get him to like me. I already have the green eyes he loves, all I have to do is smoke one blunt with Jamar and if that don't work, find out what he likes in a girl. "I hope you guys are ready for one hella trip!" Lamar shouted enthusiastically. Jamar took us out on some long stretch of road, it's called the parkway, follow it all the way north and you're in Virginia, south leads to Georgia. We pulled over on a overlook, Heffner Gap, apparently it's the same overlook a man had pushed off his wife back in the 60's. I didn't like scary places but I'm not one to complain. Jamar cut off the car lights and the engine, he flipped on the inside light above him and that's when I caught a real life glimpse of his face, perfection in every way. I couldn't stop staring, I was in a lovestruck adrenaline rush that I didn't want to escape from. His face, smooth, his eyes big and his smile one that could make me smile back instantaneously. His chin was starting to get the peach fuzz but it's a little more mature. I had to have him, he is as every bit attractive as I had remembered from the video chat. Lamar was in the back getting everything ready, meanwhile my heart was pounding. Lamar handed me a blunt, "you two share that, it's chronic rolled up inside a blueberry Swisher Sweet. The best two things to smoke with." Jamar had huge eyes that said 'in love,' his jaw dropped and mouth watering, most people would say I was exaggerating but it's the truth. I watched as Jamar took the first hit, hoping to copy him, be able to pull off that I have smoked before and that I knew what I was doing in the process. Jamar took another smaller hit before passing it to me. I smiled at him which I didn't understand why because he had turned out the light and the only thing I could see was the flame ring around the cigar. Our fingers met around the middle of the cigar, his fingers clamy but still warm. I could sense he was nervous but didn't know the exact reason, probably because he was smoking with a girl. I wrapped my index finger and thumb around the cigar, inhaling the smoke and holding it in for as long as I could, (Lamar always told me to try to hold it in for at least ten seconds.) I blew it out, trying to hold back a serious cough but failed. I passed it off as choking and Jamar gave me a sip of his water, "thanks," I replied with a smile but a smile that he couldn't even see. What was wrong with me? Was I that stupid to forget about it being nearly pitch black dark? Halfway through the cigar I was flying high, I was seeing flying pink elephants singing along to some really weird music. Coming off the parkway I started seeing huge black dogs crossing the street but Lamar reminded me that they were mailboxes. Every now and then I even seen a Bigfoot walking along the road which Lamar had no explanation of. After taking acid, a LSD tablet and a Molly I was done, I was so done. I had become a fish and the only way to keep me alive was having my window down. Every time Jamar rolled it up I cried because I thought I was dying, (like a fish out of water.) I pulled down the passenger side visor to take a look at my pupils, bad idea. I freaked out, not because they were terrifyingly huge, but because I thought my eyes were the rustic gates that led to hell, "Satan lives in my eyeballs," I laughed. The last thing I remember, "scoot down, hang your feet out the window, lay down and close your eyes. Try to relax, Zada." I even forgot who told me that because I was too focused on the red dancing dragons playing banjos and swimming around a melted tye-die colored rainbow.
... I LOVE THIS THANG!!!! In the beginning it was interesting then.... rmm... i ... i cried.. and now i laugh !! keep it up!! i wanna feel them emotions
I'm running myself crazy but I got the CHARACTERS I hope that works. This is Tasha. Zada. Nathaniel. Jamar. Lamar. Isaac. Casey.
Here's an update. Enjoy! ~~~~~~~~~~~ I woke up home, still in my clothes, in my bed and no recollection of how I got there. I sat up in my bed rubbing my eyes and forehead, I finally got up to go in my bathroom. Staring at the mirror I seen my eyes still bloodshot from the weed and my pupils still too abnormally large to pass of. Opening the medicine cabinet in search of eye drops and finding none I slumped into my second parents bathroom to find any. My search turned up nothing, so I went downstairs to continue the search and turning up nothing I slumped down on the couch. My phone rang, Jamar was calling, I didn't even remember giving him my number but I wasn't even going to ask. I blushed as I answered, "hey, Jamar. What's up?" Jamar isn't the type to call just anyone, he's even too shy to say hello to me in public. "I was just calling to check on you, you was pretty messed up last night, I had to carry you to your room." I grinned, "well, that's very sweet of you, Jamar. I'm fine, just dealing with my eyes still kind of red and huge. I heard you're going to Wake Forest, I'm going there this fall." I wanted to keep the conversation with him alive so we could avoid awkward silence or one wording each other. He chuckled, "yeah, it's great, you're going to love it. If you want, I could pick you up early Saturday and show you around the campus." I bit my lip to keep from squealing with excitement, "I'd love to, Jamar. Is eight in the morning okay? I'd love to see the campus and sight see." He agreed and so it was set. I was so excited I wanted to pack right away but I would work on putting it off. Glancing out the living room window I could see Casey coming, I rushed up to my room and leaped into my bed in hopes he wouldn't come check in on me. From my room I could hear him thumping upstairs, crossing my fingers it was towards his room and not mine. I love Casey as a younger brother, I do, but there's some things I don't want him to ever, ever find out. I just don't need a lecture on Lamar being a bad influence or how I'm ruining my life. I'm older than him by two years, and if I'm right, I am an adult and have been for a little over a year. It's my body and he is not my parent or legal guardian, I'll do what I please. "Zay, are you feeling any better?" I could tell Casey sounded a little concerned by the way he asked. As long as he didn't walk in and take one look at me, I was fine with him asking. "I'm feeling better, still a little bit nauceous. I'm going to try to sleep it off." Hoping that if I told him I felt nauceous he may stray away from seeing me. "Okay, well I'll be quiet. Feel better, Zay." I heard thumping followed by a closing door, I smiled in telling a successful lie again. With much of the day left I felt like going out, not with anyone in particular and no where specific. I just wanted to drive, drive anywhere but I had no idea where. I knew what I really wanted, a road trip. Just my friends for the summer over a week and I didn't care where to. It wasn't even summer yet, I still considered it a year away. I would love to go to the beach but in the summer and at the perfect time you'll be stuck in Bike Week or the muscle car show. Not that they're a bad thing, the only thing that puts a dent in it is the traffic that both of them cause. I would love to see Paris or New York and go in the shops or even California. Then, I hatched a perfect idea inside my head that only my real true friends would stand beside me on. I was going to make the perfect road trip and have my best friends be able to be part of it. My plan for now was to find the cheapest flight to California, not for now but whichever website was cheapest. I sat down at my desk, taking out a notebook and pen. I powered on the monitor, started thinking of websites I had seen on television and going one by one. The plan in my head as of now was, whoever goes will save money for their own ticket and help with gas, food and anything else. My plan was going to be finding the rich community, no not celebrities and see if they have anything I may want. How will I do it? My ski mask, socks, gloves and a shower cap. The ski mask for an obvious reason, take off my shoes so I don't track footprints, gloves to avoid fingerprints and the shower cap to lock in any hair that could fall out. I still needed to work around the security systems, I know that many people don't lock their doors at night. What about cameras? Dogs? Motion detectors?