Cupid's Chocolate Villa (Rewrite)

I'm terrible, I'm terrible, I'm terrible. Sorry. Here's the update.
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Chapter 7

“What the hell are you talking about?” a young man asks with wide eyes. He’s about my age and if I wasn’t dating someone, I’d say he looks pretty darn handsome. But now, all I can say is he caught my eye. “Don’t you have more in back? Or – or–” He tries to figure out a way that there could be more chocolate around, but there’s none. Yeah, zero, zilch, nada, nothing left but boxes full of emptiness.

“Cupid’s Chocolate Villa is exceeding in popularity, and because of such action, we have gotten a higher demand for our chocolates. I’m sorry to say we’re out,” I explain as I begin to grab my things. Justin has class, Carrie has class, Julie has work, Troy is at home, and Mom is still gone. Only one day until she’s back, and it couldn’t be more perfect timing. I get the next two or so days left and then I can come back to work. Having time off means time spent with Justin, Carrie, and the twins. Not too bad, if I say so myself.

“Can’t you make some?” he asks in reply and I give him a look that asks if he’s crazy.

“Don’t even get me started on this subject of cooking. The answer is no,” I sigh, shaking my head. Some people just don’t understand. “Now, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

“Wait, um, are you hiring?” The young man raises his eyebrows and I raise mine in reply. He wants a job here?

“One second, I think there’s an application in the back where the main office is.” I don’t say supposed to be because my mother isn’t here to make it an official office. And it’s cold back there. I make sure he stays where he is before walking to the office area. It’s average size, though it’s hardly furnished. A desk and a chair with a bunch of papers in stacks. I rummage through the papers before pulling out an application. I take it back out to the guy and he takes it with a nod, introducing himself as Ryan before leaving.

I close up shop before heading over to Sweet as a Rose. Stepping outside for only a few moments is practically regrettable. It’s scorching outside, a whopping 98 already, and it’s not even June. It’s only part way through May. I quickly walk into the beautiful flower shop and sigh at the sight and the cool temperatures. This place seems prettier and prettier every time I walk in. I spot a cluster of roses and smile brightly, thinking of the roses Justin gave me. I saved one, the single red rose in the dozen. It’s being pressed so I can place it in a frame on the wall. Hopeless romantic style once again.

“Karen!” I exclaim when I see Justin’s mother placing a cluster of pink carnations in a vase next to the rest. She glances over at me and smiles widely. I’ve shown up on occasion because of Justin and Karen is amazing. She’s one of the nicest people in the world. When I came over a couple days after Justin and I started dating, she only said “It’s nice to see a boy like my son pick a nice girl like you.” That’s all she said on the subject. She didn’t try to pry for details, or ask when Justin and I were doing on a date again. She just started a normal conversation like I’m one of her friends.

“Jenny, honey!” Karen replies with a wide smile. She loves me too. “Oh, it’s fabulous to see you! Justin’s at a class, but I love company!” She almost reminds me of Carrie, but she’s so much calmer than that. It’s a mixture between Carrie and my mother. Karen can be really bubbly and happy, but when she has to be, she’s serious and motherly. I love the combination.

“It’s always awesome to be here!” I answer as I head to the counter. Like in Cupid’s Chocolate Villa, Justin and I have our own stools. He asked his mother to buy two for us, and we decorated them. Mine is actually colorful. Blue and purple, green and orange, actual colors. Justin told me I couldn’t have black or gray, and he insisted that there be red and pink on my lovely stool. He painted the words “loves Justin” in pink and red under my name in white. What a dork.

Justin’s stool is also colorful. We each made silly designs on each other’s stools. They look random, and they were. We even ended up painted each other a bit. This was before we were dating, so it was a friendship thing, not a cutesy-flirty thing. Or maybe it was. Carrie says we flirt all the time, but I disagree. Sometimes, yes, we flirt, but not always.

“Justin’s–” Karen almost repeats, but I quickly wave it off and interrupt.

“In class, I know. He called me before to let me know so I wouldn’t wait up on him,” I explain as I sit on my designated stool. Karen smiles at me as she makes her way to the counter.

“He’s a good kid,” she smiles. “You know, he wouldn’t stop talking about you for the first couple weeks after meeting you. He said you were interesting, and it doesn’t surprise me you two ended up together.” I blink, surprised at her sudden comment.

“Um, thanks, I guess. I don’t really know how to reply to that,” I answer honestly. She smiles and pats my arm.

“Justin told me you can’t cook. You should come by sometime, I’ll teach you what I know. I had to cook for three for eighteen years, and for two for seven. I know a thing or two about good food and how to make it.” Karen sends me a knowing smile and it confuses me to no end, but I don’t press. Not one bit.

“Thanks, I really appreciate it. My mother gave up years ago and she won’t let me cook anymore.” I explain my many failures when it comes to cooking and Karen and I laugh about each of them. They’re all silly and stupid, but they are some pretty serious things. Karen understands completely and she still leaves her offer to help me with cooking whenever Justin walks into the flower shop.

I can practically feel my face and smile brighten at the sight of Justin, and Karen nudges me with a wink like she’s Carrie too. I roll my eyes at Justin’s mother and he walks up to the counter. He leans on it and I lean forward to meet him there. He kisses my cheek, smiling down at me.

“Hello, Jelly,” Justin greets. He kisses his mother’s cheek as well with a smile. “Hey, Ma. I hope you aren’t telling my girlfriend any embarrassing stories about me yet.”

“Oh, you have that backwards, Justin,” I smile at my boyfriend. “I’m telling embarrassing cooking stories about myself.” Karen chuckles and gives me a one-armed hug before leaving to the back office, saying something about paperwork. Justin has the day off, so the two of us head to my house.

In our respected separate vehicles, we make our way to my house. Troy is at the door with Julie and Josh when I get to my house, all three of them carrying bags.

“Are you leaving already?” I ask as soon as I exit my car. It’s a nice little VW Beetle, one of the old ones and it’s black. I love the thing since it fits me, in smallness and darkness. Besides, James said he’d buy me one when I was sixteen. Mom bought it since James had promised and I wouldn’t stop begging her to get me one.

“Well, since you told me you were leaving work early, we decided we would too. And Josh is sick of spending time with Marcus,” Troy explains as Julie and Josh put their things in their car. It’s parked on the street and mine is in the driveway, so I don’t have to move my car.

“Oh, okay. No problem, I can watch the kids.” I shrug and I head for the door. I give Julie and Troy hugs on their way out and Justin parks behind me as my aunt and uncle drive away. Justin probably stopped somewhere or something on the way here. I don’t mind, not really. He’s here, that’s all that matters.

“So, we have to watch the twins?” Justin asks as he walks into the house. I nod as he shuts the door and I fall onto the couch.

“That should be fairly easy. Marcy has discovered the Barbie craze, sadly, so she’s focused on that, and Marcus is still severely grounded. So, we can either sit in here and watch television or go to my room and watch television. Your choice of course. And later we’ll probably have pizza.”

“Ooh, pizza sounds amazing. And let’s go to your room. It’s probably quieter there,” Justin answers with a smirk, and I roll my eyes. Sure, I want to kiss him all the time, but we can do that out here.

“What’s up?” I hear as Carrie barges into the house. She found the spare key. Again. I thought my mother hid it better than last time.

“Watching the twins,” I answer.

“Oh, I’m out, I’m not dealing with the devil! Not today, no way in hell!” Carrie answers as she backs up, heading for the doorway.

“Marcus is still grounded,” Justin points out for me, and I smile at Carrie for being so silly. She’s always like this when I have to watch the twins. Marcus has always liked to, well, torture her. When my mother’s home, they’re fine, but when she’s gone like this…

“Marcy found Barbies too,” I add, knowing she would easily take the bait.

“Barbie dolls! I’m practically Barbie!” Carrie exclaims, bringing a hand to her heart with a wide smile. Bingo, I got her. “I can teach her everything! Oh, she is in for some fun!” Carrie rushes for Marcy’s room and Justin and I burst out laughing at her childish behavior. She really does love Barbie dolls.

“Now Marcy and Carrie are going to be occupied for a few hours. Marcus is pouting in his room, and we will have some official alone time.” Justin wiggles his eyebrows, causing me to giggle and smack his chest gently. I don’t usually giggle, but Justin is an exception.

“Yeah, alone time with three other people in the house, two of which could barge in at any moment,” I add and he pouts playfully. Gosh, talk about a total freaking dork.

“Oh, I have a good idea!” Justin suddenly exclaims, his eyes wide and playful. “Let me sleep over.” At my completely obvious “you have to be kidding” face, he continues, “I’m serious! Like a sleepover! I don’t have class until late tomorrow so we can hang out all night and crash at six in the morning and hey, maybe Carrie will stay over too.”

“There are a few reasons as to why that is a bad idea all the way around. One, Carrie would make us coffee, which I don’t even like, but at four in the morning, I’d… well, I’d probably accept it, because, well, that’s part of my next point. Two, Marcy would want to stay up and I would never get her to sleep because I get loud and weird in the early morning.” At this, Justin gives me that look. You know the one, where it’s a mixture of “you’re crazy” and “I think I love this idea” and a little fear and finally “I wanna experience that” rolled all into one. I wave it off and continue. “And finally, my mother will be home tomorrow. She will flip her lid if she comes home and you’re here with me since Troy and Julie and Josh are long gone.”

“So? Carrie doesn’t have to stay, and she probably has class tomorrow. I can get Marcy to sleep and I don’t know if I want to see that side of you. And finally, I’ll sleep on the couch or I’ll take the floor in your room. I’ll even explain that I just wanted to hang out a little longer than normal because we’re friends first, and I know how you feel about next level stuff. Besides, we’ve only been dating for what? Six days?  I think that would be way too fast anyway.”

“Well, a week, if you count that first date,” I add with a soft smile. He smiles back and kisses me gently, obviously trying to distract me from the topic at large. “Hey, don’t do that,” I tell him with a laugh, pushing him and his strong, hard chest away. He is so muscular. I don’t know how I’m going to keep myself calm the first time he takes off his shirt in front of me. “You don’t even have anything to wear anyway.”

“I don’t need to wear anything,” he replies in a sexy and husky voice, one that almost chills me to the bone, but in the absolute best way possible.

“Gosh, don’t do that!” I retort in an almost breathless voice. Once my breathing and heartbeat returns to normal, I decide to actually resume my scolding. “And yes you do! We aren’t the only ones in this house you know,” I remind him, and he sighs softly, and even though I know it’s fake, it sounds full of disappointment.

“Fine, but come on, it’ll be fun! We can play Monopoly again, and while Carrie’s here, she can play, and we don’t have to stay up late. And we can watch movies and cuddle, and I know you love it when we cuddle.” He gives me that cute, puppy-dog pouting face that I can’t say no to. Every time, every dang time.

“Fine, but I get a head start on Monopoly so I can kick your butt this time.”

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“Good night, you two. No dirty stuff under the sheets. Keep it to cuddling,” Carrie explains to us through a long yawn. It’s almost midnight, and she won Monopoly. How, well, she spends money a lot, so she’s very strategic at spending. That, and she got Park Way and Boardwalk. So, we were, well, total screwed. Now, Justin and I are cuddling on the couch, watching Captain America because he’s my favorite Avenger. And Justin’s, which is always a plus. A guy who likes Steve Rogers is my kind of guy.

“We’re smarter than that,” I tell her at the same time Justin says, “You already warned me the day after we started dating.” Carrie gives us a thumbs-up and salutes Steve when he appears on screen before leaving. She’s so dorky. You gotta love her.

“Hey, on Halloween, do you want to dress up as Peggy?” Justin asks when Peggy Carter appears on screen. The movie’s almost over, the children are in bed, and I’m about to fall asleep.

“Will you be Captain America?” I ask softly, looking up at him. “But the one with the jacket, that’s my favorite look of Steve’s.”

“Definitely. We can be a power couple,” he smiles and kisses my forehead. Gosh, what a sweetie. We finish the movie – cue my crying at “I had a date” – and we make our way to my room. He and I made the deal during Monopoly that if he beat me, then he could sleep on my floor. Of course, with me being absolutely terrible at that game, he did and he’s sleeping on my floor tonight. Oh well, at least he’s close.

“I think there’s some sweat pants in the guest room’s bureau,” I explain and I head for the door.

“I don’t need sweat pants. I have boxers.” He gives me an exaggerated smile, basically telling me to go ahead and get them, and I roll my eyes at his dorkiness. I grab a pair – they were my dad’s, which is why they say EPD on the side, though they’ve been washed – and I quickly bring them back to Justin. As he goes to change in the bathroom, at my request – I almost shouted at him when he was being stupid and tried to take off his pants in front of me – I make a little pallet on the floor for him.

“How do they make me look?” Justin asks when he comes back, and I turn around to meet a shockingly good looking, ovary melting sight. Justin is shirtless, revealing abs so perfect they should be illegal, and the sweat pants hang off his hips a bit. He looks so good, I could get a nosebleed.

“Under the covers or else I’m going to hit you,” I whisper in this voice that is so not mine. I clear my throat, shake my head, and grab my pajamas before rushing into the bathroom. I quickly cool my blush down by splashing ice cold water on my face, and then I tell myself to get it together. Justin is just a guy. Do not let hormones get to you, and everything will be fine. With that calming mantra, I change, pull my hair into a bun, and do my quick nightly routine. Once I’m sure I’m ready for bed, I head back into my room, mentally preparing myself just in case.

“Shut off the lights?” I ask Justin, since he’s closest to them, and he nods. I crawl onto my bed and get comfortable under the covers. We say goodnight to each other before lapsing into silence. I try to sleep, but for some reason, the feeling of cuddling this gorgeous guy on the floor earlier makes me want to cuddle. Again.

“Justin?” I ask softly, and I can practically hear his smile.

“Yes, Jelly?” he asks, and I hear him sit up in the darkness.

“Get up here. We’re going to cuddle and sleep, alright?” I ask moving over a bit so he has room to get in with me. He quickly gets under the covers and pulls me towards him, wrapping an arm around my waist. I shift a bit until my back is against his chest and my hand rests on his gently. My body seems to fit perfectly right there next to him, and I love it to death.

“Much better, huh?” Justin whispers, and I detect laughter in his voice.

“You cuddled with me earlier on purpose so I would feel the need to cuddle more, didn’t you?” I ask with a small smile of my own, closing my eyes as I relax next to him.

“Of course. Goodnight, Jenny.” I feel Justin press his lips against the top of my head, and I mumble a “goodnight” myself before falling asleep.

*~*~*~

I wake up the next morning, feeling kind of cold. But then I remember Justin was sleeping next to me, so he probably got up to do something boyish or make breakfast. I hope it’s breakfast.

I get up, fix my hair because it is the most unruly thing in the morning, and head for the kitchen. I hear Justin speaking, and Marcy replying in this excited way that somehow tells me he is making me breakfast. Or rather, the family breakfast, plus him, minus my mother. She should be back this afternoon. So, yeah, we can make the excuse that Justin came over since he doesn’t have classes or whatever. Marcy and Marcus will believe that because Justin is clothed, thank goodness, and they never knew he stayed over and slept here. Carrie does have class, so she’s not gonna be here anyway.

“Oh, look, it’s Sleeping Beauty,” Justin announces when I walk into the kitchen, and I smile widely at him. I peck his cheek, which earns the sounds of disgust from Marcus and the sounds of exciting squeals from Marcy. Well, at least, I don’t think Marcus squeals like a girl too often.

“Hello Prince Charming, I see you made us breakfast,” I answer with a smile, looking down at Marcy and Marcus’s plates. They have their own personalized pancakes. Marcy’s pancake is a girl with pigtails, or I think since she ate the arms and legs first. Marcus’s is of a spaceship, and he’s pretty happy with that.

“I made a special pancake for you, my dear,” he explains and he places a plate down besides Marcy. It has a heart shaped pancake with bacon on the plate, and I can’t help but blush and giggle. He’s so sweet. He even put “JP and JW” on it with syrup.  And there’s a syrup arrow through it. How creative is he?

“Thank you.” I kiss his cheek again and sit down at my place. I eat my breakfast, with the occasional theft of my bacon from Justin, but I always steal it back. Once we finish eating, Marcus goes back to his room and Marcy gets ready for the day. I help Justin with the dishes, and after that, I go get dressed.

Today, I decide to wear black, black, and oh my gosh, black! Shocker!

As soon as I brush and fix my hair, again, I hear my mother’s pleasant voice greet, “Justin, hello! Why are you at my house this early in the day?”

“Oh, Jelly! Your mother’s home!” Justin answers by calling out to me. I check myself in the mirror before rushing out to the living room to see my mother.

“Mom!” I exclaim with a smile and hug her. She laughs at my reaction and hugs me back, and I feel arms wrap around the both of us, so I know the twins are here hugging her too.

“Hello, my children,” she greets and kisses the tops of our heads one by one. “Now, I have a few surprises for you, so, sit down!” Marcy and Marcus rush to sit down on the couch and Justin takes a seat on our loveseat. Naturally, I sit with him. And he pulls me into his lap. I kinda mind, but not too much to protest at the moment.

My mother looks at the two of us for a few seconds, a bit confused, and it seems like the explanation hits her like a train. “Oh, you two are dating now! Of course, that’s why you’re here. I should have known, but this week has been hectic. But first, the surprises!” She hands Marcus a new video game, and doesn’t he get excited. Of course, he can’t play it, but still, it’s sweet to see his face light up like that. She brought home a pint of ICD’s ice cream for Marcy, cookie dough, her favorite. And she brought me chocolate. Score.

“That’s not all!” my mother exclaims excitedly, rushing to the door. “Luke, Jason, some in!” she calls as soon as she opens it. In walks two people, a young man around my age, and an older man about my mother’s age. I look them over to find that I could like the younger guy. His hair is neon blue, to start, and he’s wearing all black. We could be twins. His eyes are hidden beneath his hair, though I think when I do catch them, they’re brown. He’s about as tall as the older man.

The older man has short dirty blonde hair and blue eyes, not quite the Wyatt blue. They’re lighter than ours. He’s tall and lanky, and he has stubble on his chin. He seems to look like a “Luke.”

“Hi, how are ya? Why are you in our house?” I ask, wrapping an arm around Justin’s neck as he holds my waist. Something seems wrong… I feel like something is about to turn terribly wrong.

“Luke and I are getting married!” my mother exclaims.

Called it.
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THEY ARE SO CUTE! I am so sorry. I have been super busy. I don't have a ton of time right ow, so this is really short. I am working on right as much as I can. And another story. And another. Sorry, this is rushed.

Lemme know what you think, I edited a bit. So, yeah. Sorry for the super long wait.

 

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

My updating days have changed. I don't have time on Sundays or Saturdays because of work. Mondays and Fridays I have school and work. So, I decided on a happy medium.

Wednesdays.

It's in the middle of the week, and I do nothing on Wednesdays. So it's the best day to update. I do have an update, though I'm not entirely happy with it, so I might wait until next Wednesday. Or I might just update on Thursday or next Tuesday. Those days, I have nothing important going on. So, I might update any of those three days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Every week.

That's all I got. Sorry for no update Sunday.

 

Jen, love!  Isn't it so much better?!?!

 

Okay, so, I have my update, as promised. I fixed it like three time. It's so much better now.
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Chapter 8

I stare at my mother for a long time, trying to figure out if she’s joking – and I hope she is. Some stranger and his son just waltz into the house I’ve been living in all my life, and boom, my mother drops one of the biggest bombs I have ever witnessed? This is unreal. How can this actually be happening? My mother is getting married? Since when has she been dating Luke, who is obviously the older man? Why haven’t I heard about him? Why am I learning about him now? There are so many questions buzzing through my head as I stare at my mother that I don’t notice Justin speaking. Not until I can actually block out the questions and my mother to focus on my boyfriend.

“Jenny?” Justin whispers in my ear, trying to get my attention. Now that I’m lucid again, I glare at my mother.

“And I suppose you were going to introduce us when? When you started dating? Or maybe on your wedding day, considering how I don’t know this man. How on earth can you do something like this to me?” I babble, looking at my mother like she’s crazy. Her smile fades, and now that I’m actually looking, she seems genuinely happy. She seems happy a majority of the time sure, but James’s death has always caused her grief. I can’t even identify him as my father; it’s so hard to actually come to terms with it, even after almost nine years.

“Jennifer, honey, I know this is hard, but,” Luke begins, and his voice is really deep, even deeper than Justin’s. But then again, he’s around his mid-forties, so his voice probably got lower over the years.

“You’re not my father,” I interrupt, throwing all manners out the window. “So don’t call me honey, alright? I’m addressing my mother, not you, a stranger.” He looks absolutely stunned, and I really don’t care. My mother gasps at my reply, and once again, I just don’t care. I mean, yes, he is older than me and I’m supposed to treat him with respect, but I really can’t when all of a sudden a stranger is marrying my mother without my knowing.

“I like you,” I hear from Jason, and his voice is similar to his father’s, just not as deep, and he murmurs rather than says it out loud. Why do all these guys have such deep voices? It’s getting ridiculous. I glance at him find his eyes on me, a smirk playing on his lips. Yep, his eyes are a caramel brown.  Well, at least I made a good first impression on him.

“Jennifer June Wyatt, you do not speak to my fiancé like that!” my mother finally exclaims when she’s caught her bearings. I stand, completely surprised that she’s against me on this. I mean, yes, she’s marrying him, but she should know why this is a serious matter to me. I can’t let her think she can replace James like this, no way. Especially when it’s such a random act like now!

“No, Courtney, I am going to. You know I’m still not over James’s death. You know I can’t even identify him as he is to me. You should know better than the rest of the people in this room that I will not allow anyone to replace him. You should know I’ve always been against this kind of thing, and maybe that’s why you hid this stranger from us. But you do not just barge in and tell us he’s moving in and marrying you!” I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but this is ridiculous. I can’t stand this! “You don’t just keep this away from the only other person who experienced his death like you did. You could have at least let me know.”

My mother is struck numb by my words, I can tell. Either by me addressing her by her first name, speaking about James freely, or that I’m speaking to her like I am, I have no idea which has hit her hardest. I just know that I am done with this. I wait for her to speak again, my arms crossed in a defiant anger. I feel Justin gently wrap his arms around me, and I know he’s standing. He pulls me close to him, pressing his lips to my hair. I hear him murmur, “I’m sorry, Jenny,” but I’m more focused on my mother than my boyfriend.

“Jenny,” my mother whispers, trying to take a step closer to me, but instead I step away, pushing Justin back in the process. Her face falls, and I see tears in her eyes. “Does he know?” she asks, looking up at Justin.

“You know it. So sorry for breaking your rule, but he cares. And obviously you don’t,” I retort, my last sentence filled with more venom towards her than I would have ever imagined. She takes a step back, placing a hand on her heart like I broke it. And I don’t care if I did. She ruined even the last bit of a relationship we have. It’s been rocky since James died, but now, it’s destroyed.

“Get out,” she whispers, and her voice shows how broken I’ve made her.

“Gladly.” I rip myself from Justin’s arms and stalk to my room, seething with so much rage and hatred I have. I hear footsteps behind me, I think three different sets. Two are almost similar, but one is easily distinguishable.  It’s the patter of small feet, and I know it’s Marcy. I turn to see her running to me and Justin and Jason following. I pick up Marcy when she reaches me, pressing my face into her hair.

“Don’t go,” she whispers, on the verge of tears. Oh, my precious baby sister. I don’t want to, but staying here with that woman and her husband will make me go on a killing spree. I know it for a fact.

“I’ll be back when Courtney comes to her senses I’m right and forgives me,” I whisper back, kissing her forehead. “Don’t worry, okay? It’s got nothing to do with you. Courtney and I are just fighting that’s all. She’ll forgive me. She always has.” I smile at her, though it’s forced, and she buys it. I hate to lie to her because I’m pretty sure that was it. I’m no longer her daughter; she’s no longer my mother.

“I’m sorry, Jenny,” Justin tells me again and quickly scoops me into his arms as soon as I’ve put Marcy down. I hug him back, sighing softly. He always makes me feel better. I feel him kiss the top of my head and he pulls away to look at me. “Where are you going to stay?”

“I guess I have to use my chocolate money to get a motel or something. It’ll only be for a while anyway, Justin, so I’ll be fine.” I shrug as I look up at him, trying to smile. He sighs, running a hand through his ruffled hair. I don’t know why he’s stressing over this so much, but then again, he’s my boyfriend. He has a right to stress over what I stress about, right?

“I know this’ll rush our relationship a bit since we’ve only been together for a week, but do you want to move in with me? I just… if you go to a motel and you get robbed or killed or worse, I don’t want it to be because I didn’t offer or try to help.” He looks so concerned, thinking about all the things that could happen to me. I smile softly, hopeful at his words. Yes, it could rush our relationship and all that, but I’ve already seen him shirtless. And he knows I have certain morals when it comes to relationships, so he’s not going to try anything.

“You’re the best.” I kiss his cheek. “I’ll start packing, we go to your place, and Carrie will finally know where you live.” Justin laughs at my joke, even though it’s mostly true, and I finally turn to my future step brother.

“I guess you’re Jason?” I ask with raised eyebrows. He nods with a smirk.

“Yeah, Jenny June, I am. And you did good out there. See, I did the same thing except my old man didn’t kick me out. He forced me to come, which sucks, but, eh, I can move out any time I want. So, I’ll see you at the chocolate shop because Luke forced me to accept the job offer or he won’t pay for college, which I have to accept. See you soon, Jenny June.” He reaches out his hand and pats my head before turning to Justin. “Nice to meet you,” he tells Justin before bending down to my little sister. “Hello, gumdrop, what’s your name?”

My little sister giggles at the nickname, and I know she’s going to be in good hands. Jason seems a lot like me from what I can tell from our one encounter. I’m gonna like him. I can tell. Justin and I head to my bedroom and I pack up the few possessions I own; my books, my chocolate, clothes including the dress I wore on our date, and other stuff I need into boxes I stuffed into my closet long ago. I don’t remember why they’re there. I think I wanted to make a castle with them when I was younger and James was still alive.

When Justin and I are carrying boxes out to our cars, my mother watches us with wide eyes. He’s such a sweetheart; he offered to take half of my stuff in his car. And it’s not my chocolate or clothes, that’s for sure. I put my things in my car and make sure I have everything as my mother walks over to us.

“Where are you going?” she demands, and I don’t say anything. “I said, where are you going?” she repeats, crossing her arms as she looks at me. I finally turn to her and cross my arms, mimicking her. She’s making me severely angry.

“Justin’s house. He lives by himself, and he was kind enough to let me stay with him. At least he offered me a choice instead of forcing me to accept it.” I glare at him and Justin gently grabs my arm.

“Let’s go, okay? We don’t need you fighting again.” He kisses the top of my head and I nod, looking past my mother to see Marcus and Marcy watching us. I smile and walk towards them. They deserve a proper goodbye.

“Hello devil and angel,” I smile. Marcus sticks his tongue out at me in a childish fashion and I smile even wider. It’s almost like nothing’s changing. “I have to leave for a while, but if you need me, you can always call me. Marcus, be good, please. If you be good, I’ll let you come over and have some chocolate.” His face lights up at my words and I laugh softly. “I promise. And Marcy, keep him in line. I’m trusting you, my little squirt.” She giggles and wraps her arms around me. Marcus does as well and I hug them both. Both of them being this good is a miracle.

“I love you both. Be good, and you’ll see me again before you know it.” I kiss the tops of their heads and stand.

“Love you, Jen-Jen,” Marcy smiles, and Marcus waves with a smile.

“What she said,” he tells me in his still a bit squeaky, but still boyish, voice. I laugh and wave back.

“Bye, devil and angel.” I walk away and get in my car. Justin pulls out of the driveway first since he’s behind me and I follow him, waving once more to my siblings. The drive is quick and similar to the one I take to Cupid’s Chocolate Villa. He pulls into the drive way of this average sized house for a single resident; it’s smaller than ours though. Then again, I lived there all my life with my mother and James, and we needed the extra rooms for the twins later on. I pull in beside Justin since the driveway is wide enough and get out, looking it over.

“It’s a little small, one bedroom, but I can always sleep on the couch if you need me to. And it’s a little messy; I wasn’t expecting company,” Justin tells me sheepishly when he’s out of his car. It doesn’t surprise me that it’s going to be messy. Guys are guys when they’re with other guy friends or by themselves. It’s natural.

“It’s fine, we can clean up as soon as I’m done unpacking.” I shrug, smiling at my adorable boyfriend. I am nervous about living with him, don’t get me wrong. Living with my boyfriend of one week is a big step. I mean, I wouldn’t be doing this if my mother hadn’t kicked me out. And if I hadn’t know this guy for months; that’s a crucial fact. But still, moving in? I feel like I’m in for a world of change.

The both of us carry in a box when I first walk in, and Justin was just being dramatic. There are a bunch a papers crumpled up on the floor, and a couple pieces of trash other than that, but no food or wrappers or clothes or anything I would have expected. The papers are probably from college frustrations, and the trash is from who knows what. But it seems like a normal house, even a little small.

“You’re such a liar,” I tease, setting a box on the floor. “It’s not messy at all, just a couple papers. Don’t worry about it, you have your college troubles and you’ll have some papers on the floor. It’s no problem.” Justin smiles and quickly pecks my lips gently.

“You’re really understanding. I hope you can deal with my late nights.” He kisses my forehead before walking away, heading outside to get the rest of my boxes. He’s so random and sweet. I can’t help but think he’s one of the better people in the world.

I head out after him and we quickly bring the boxes in his house. He lets me put up my clothes in his closet and his drawers and it makes me feel, I don’t know, all giddy inside. I think I will always have mixed feelings about moving in with him, at least at first. He lets me pile my books just about anywhere, which is really sweet, and he lets me stash my chocolates in a drawer, nothing else in it. He’s really understanding about my stuff and my habits. But his textbooks are everywhere too, and his jelly has its own shelf in the fridge. We’re kinda similar; it’s cute.

When I head to bed, he’s making his own on the couch. He insisted on letting me sleep in his bed alone so I could get used to being in his house. He’s a total sweetheart, but don’t think for a moment that I just agreed to this automatically. I didn’t want to take his bed, I would have been fine on the couch, but he just kept saying over and over and over that he takes the couch. At one point, I just gave up and took his bed. His bed is comfortable, and it smells like him. I know it’s a cliché that girls love the smell of their boyfriend’s things, but hey, it’s true.

Yeah, I’m gonna like living here. I have my boyfriend, my siblings, my job, my chocolate, and my best friend. So, I don’t really have my mother anymore, but oh well. I’ll be okay as long as I have them.

*~*~*~

After a month, I’ve gotten used to a few things. Like Jason, for example. He’s awesome. We both have very similar personalities, and we’re almost identical to each other, not including height, looks, and the fact that he’s a guy. His birthday is the same day as mine, which is in two months since it’s the middle of June.

Justin and I have been really awkward… he and I still aren’t used to living with each other. It’s been a month. Away from home, we’re fine. But when we’re together alone in the house, we don’t speak often, and we’re just… awkward. I hate it, but what the heck am I supposed to do?

My mother and I are on speaking terms, but I don’t talk to her except to talk about work. I don’t talk to Luke at all. Marcy misses me to death, I know that much, and Marcus is actually trying to be good. I have some really good chocolate, so I know he wants some when he gets a chance.

Ryan came to work with me and Jason a couple weeks ago, and he’s a pretty good worker. He works in back, placing chocolates in the boxes. Jason supplies the display cases and occasionally hands me the boxes while I am the cashier. It’s a very nice set up.

And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now. Working with my future step brother and Ryan. Justin is working over at Sweet as a Rose, and he’s going to take me out for lunch. He’s so sweet when we aren’t awkward. I just wish I knew what to do now that I’m living with him. I feel like I should never have done that, like it’s rushing us. But we’ll figure it out.

“Hey, girlie!” Carrie calls, walking into the store like she owns the place. I’ve seen her when I can, between me working and hanging out with Justin or Marcy and her going to school. I’m busier right now. “Hello, um, gosh, what’s your name?” Carrie points at Jason, pursing her lips. She’s only met him twice. “I know it starts with a J because you and Jenny are twins or whatever, and it only fits.”

“Jason, Barbie. Don’t forget it, yeah?” Jason raises an eyebrow at my best friend and she giggles. She loves being called Barbie. “I’m going to grab a few boxes, Jenny June. Be back in a jiff.” He points at me and I raise a hand as I turn to the blonde.

“So, what do you need, friend of mine?” I ask, leaning back on Justin’s stool.  Jason took over my stool when we had a slow day once, but I don’t mind. When Justin gets here, I sit on his lap while he sits on his stool. He’s strong enough.

“You don’t remember do you?” she asks me with raised eyebrows. A sad look crosses her face, but it confuses me. Remember what? What am I supposed to remember? I glance at my phone and it’s almost time for Justin to take me to lunch, but I have no idea why that would be something for Carrie to be sad about.

“Remember what?” I ask her, brushing a strand of hair from my face.

“Nothing. I’m not going to tell you if you can’t remember.” She looks relieved now, though I don’t understand why. What’s today? What happened today?

“Okay, weirdo. Anything else? Would you finally like to buy something?”

“Nah, I’m okay.”  She glances behind me and her jaw drops. I glance back and see Ryan, walking into the front of the store, acting like he usually does. “Actually, is he available? Because, yummy.” I turn back to her and laugh, shaking my head. She likes him, huh? Why does that not surprise me? Oh yeah, because that’s just the kind of girl she is.

“I don’t know, ask?” I raise my eyebrows with a smirk and she pushes me gently from the other side of the counter. She quickly fluffs her hair without ruining it and puts on her signature smile. It’s the only smile that I consider signature, and it’s the one she uses to flirt with a guy.

“Hey,” she greets in her most seductive voice. I really don’t want to watch this.

“I’m going to lunch! Jason, call me if you need me to help out here. Otherwise, please don’t.” I smile at my best friend, my coworker, and when Jason comes out, at him too. I leave the store and walk over to Sweet as a Rose, ready to have my date.

Justin is ready to go too, so he takes me to a nice little diner for lunch, one I remember going to when I was younger. I don’t remember why I don’t come here anymore. Maybe I got busy, and when I was dating Seth, he only took me to the movies and one of his stupid dog fights, and to football games too… But to diners or restaurants? Never.

We sit down and order out lunch before we even start talking, not only hungry, but we just want to talk without being interrupted.

“So, I saw Carrie today,” Justin begins, smirking slightly at me. And it is a dorky little smirk, let me tell you what. And I love that smirk. I wish I could see more of it when we’re at home together.

“She came by, and last I remember, she was trying to flirt with Ryan. I did not want to stick around and feel the tension in the room. She is really good at flirting,” I explain with a small laugh, shaking my head as I remember the flirting I have witnessed over the years, especially the times she got a date.

“So am I,” Justin brags, and I giggle at him, rolling my eyes. He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh even harder, covering my mouth so I don’t get too loud. The diner is pretty crowded right now, but then again, it is lunch. So, yeah, it’s gonna be crowded. But I don’t want to interrupt people’s conversations with my laughter. But hey, my dork over here is the problem.

“Gosh, you’re terrible,” I tell him as soon as I calm down. He smirks at me and wink, causing me to start gigging again. I calm down and stick my tongue out at him.

“I’ll bite you,” Justin teases, though I could swear there’s a serious note behind his playful tone. I’m probably wrong, but hey, I might not be.

“Anyway, I finally made the decision. You know, to take the chance to do it,” I mumble, playing with a lock of my hair, now purple. I don’t know why, but I feel like purple is a June and January color. I know it’s almost destroyed because of all the chemicals, but my dye experiment is almost over. Carrie is going to take me to a salon and get it stripped out and clopped off. I don’t know what I’ll think of it, but hey, I’ll try it out.

“Really? That’s great, what are you planning on?” Justin smile widely, adoration and pride filling his eyes. He really is an amazing guy whenever we’re together. I wonder how it changed so much when I moved. Then again, it was a week into our relationship…

“Well…” I begin, but I’m interrupted by the one ringtone I really don’t want to hear. My mother’s. I sigh, shaking my head. If I don’t answer, she’ll just keep calling. So I might as well answer. “Sorry. I have to answer this, okay?”

“Go ahead. You’ll always have a chance to tell me at home,” Justin answers smiles, though it’s a bit forced, and I know he feels the awkward tension at home. How can you not? It’s thicker than butter.

“What do you want?” I ask automatically, frowning as I turn away from Justin. At one point, he’ll probably take the phone away and end the call when I get too angry. I love it when he does that, though I do get angry at him for a moment. When I understand why he did that, I relax because he’s so smart to do that.

“Jenny, honey,” I hear my mother whisper, and her voice is thick with tears. Something’s not right. Wait a minute… Carrie first, now my mother, the familiarity of the diner, the odd feeling of the day. This is a strange pattern. A bad kind of strange.

“What’s wrong?” I ask hesitantly as more and more thoughts begin to piece together. Carrie sounded concerned, asking if I remembered. The odd feeling all day, like I really was forgetting something important. My mother calling me now, and it’s obviously not related to work.

“It’s today,” she sobs. I blink, confused, and when I know what she means, it hits me like a freight train. Oh, no. No, no, no. Not today. Any day but today. Not when my mother and I are fighting. Not when most things were going so well. Not today.

No matter how much I tell myself it can’t be true, it is. The more I say “no” the more the memories and my heart says “yes”.

“I need the rest of the day off,” I mumble, unsure about what to do. Usually, I spend my time at home, crying and fighting off nightmares whenever I fall asleep. But this time, I don’t have my mother at home. I only have Justin, and home isn’t exactly a great environment.

“Go ahead, baby. And tomorrow too.” I hang up as soon as she stops speaking, tears pricking my eyes. I can’t cry. Not here. Not in public. I just can’t. Making a scene is beneath me. I made too many when this first happened.

“I need to go home,” I tell Justin, refusing to look at him. “Take me home. I just… I have to be home right now.” I have a pint of ICD vanilla ice cream, and I might slip back to Courtney’s to grab some things. I need to be home.

“What, why? What’s wrong?” Justin leans forward, reaching for me. I flinch away when he touches me, but it’s just a reflex. This is the day I don’t talk to anyone, I lull myself to sleep, and I wake up screaming from nightmares. That’s today. Why did I forget?

“Just take me, please.” I look up at my understanding boyfriend and when he notices the tears in my eyes, the concern just grows as he stands. I stand too, quickly grabbing my purse as I head for the door. He comes out a few minutes later, holding a take-out box. He got our food to go, how sweet. But that doesn’t change how I feel.

When I get to the car, I keep my eyes on the ground, waiting

“Tell me. You can’t keep this from me. Not when you look so…” Justin searches for the right word, I can tell. It’s hard to describe how I feel. I feel like not only has my world fell all over again, that my shoulders are sudden heavy with this thought in my mind; one single thought has destroyed me in a matter of seconds. “You look broken.” He gently places a hand on my cheek and I lean into him, feeling my heart crumble. I can’t just not tell him. Not now when he looks so sad about how I feel.

“It’s his death. It was today, nine years ago.”
*~*~*~
Well, it should be obvious who died, but just in case you don't know, I'll say it in the next chapter.

I didn't edit it other than fixing what I wrote and hated. This took a while to write, but I feel like this writhing today and last night got me back in the groove of things.

So, lemme know about what you think or if you see any mistakes. I know I made at least one.

Thanks for waiting, I'll be writing later.

 

It really doesn't feel like it, but it's been almost two weeks since I last updated. Crazy right? Anyway, here's an update.
*~*~*~
Chapter 9

Justin immediately takes me back home, and he calls Karen and talks to her about how I am and how he wants to stay with me. She apparently agrees while I grab the ice cream and my chocolate and sit on the couch. Everything was going so well, and then there’s the memories and they hit me over and over. It’s like I’m getting shot.

I really should not compare my feelings with that action.

“Jenny, can I do anything for you?” Justin asks hesitantly, and I know the awkwardness is still there. I just... I don't care. I grab his hand once I set my ice cream and chocolate in my lap and pull him down onto the couch. That ends now.

“Just hold me and talk to me. Help me forget,” I whisper in a voice I haven’t heard in a year. It’s a broken voice, one that’s given up. One that just can’t deal with the weight on her shoulders. Because that’s what death does to you; it breaks you beyond repair. It cripples you until you’re ready to heal. You stop caring and you don’t want to hear those words that everyone tries to tell you to keep you from giving up. Because they don’t get it.

Justin pulls me into his lap once he sits and he wraps his arms around my waist. He pulls me close and rests his head on top of mine. The way he’s holding me, it makes me think there isn’t anything going on between us anymore, the way we’ve been for a whole month. It makes me feel loved, cared for, cherished, and important to someone.

“I’m so sorry. I want to do anything I can for you. Especially today,” Justin whispers, rocking me back and forth slowly, and it’s soothing. But it doesn’t remove the pain. I don’t know how long it’s been, but he slips out from under me and lets me curl up on the couch as he puts up the ice cream and my chocolate. When he comes back, he has a jar of strawberry jelly and two spoons. He pulls me into his lap again and hands me a spoon.

“Why are you doing this?” I ask sadly, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Because I want to share my favorite food with my favorite person. I don’t want to see you like this, Jenny. You never look this sad, not even when you told me the story. I know this hurts for you, but I’ll be damned if I watch you crumble in front of me. I need to help, not just because you’re my girlfriend, but also because you’re someone who should be given all the good things in life. You’ve taken so much crap with James and Seth and I want to help ease the pain. And I’m willing to share my favorite food to make you feel better.”

Justin’s little speech makes me melt. And it’s like all the awkward tension just disappears. I feel better, knowing he wants to share his jelly with me, and that he thinks the way he does. He really is one of the better people in the world. Not everyone is like him, and no one should be. This guy is one of a kind, and I have to keep him for as long as I can.

“How can I pass up your offer when you’re so sweet?” I ask in the same voice. I’m still sad but I feel a bit better from his words. I quickly kiss his cheek and he smiles. A real, Justin Plymouth smile. And that’s the one sign I needed to see to prove we’re alright now, anywhere we are.

Justin opens up his jelly and we dig into it. And it’s not as good as chocolate, but hey, it’s pretty good by itself. Whenever I’m full of jelly, I just curl into Justin, listening to his heartbeat. It’s soothing. He sets the jar on the coffee table and wraps his arms around me again, playing with my hair as he whispers to me. He whispers all the good things I should have: family, love, hope, happiness, a dog, all the books I want, a chance at going to college, and most importantly, the ability to go through this very day every year and not feel this way. How he knows what I want to hear, it’s a mystery. But he’s amazing. He’s keeping me calm, from crying, and most of all, from sleeping. Sleeping equals nightmares today.

“I should call Carrie. She came by to ask if I remembered, and she was so happy I didn’t…” I sigh and I pull my phone from my pocket. He kisses me gently, on the lips, and it’s the longest and sweetest kiss I’ve ever felt. It even sends that weird tingly, happy feeling through me.

“I’ll reheat our food while you call her. You do want your food, right?” He raises his eyebrows and I laugh softly. I nod and he slides me off his lap. He heads for the kitchen and I call the only best friend I will ever have.

“You remembered?” she asks automatically, worry filling her tone. I would start crying at this point, like I usually do. It’s been a long year. But, for some reason, I don’t want to cry. I feel sad, sure, but not like I used to. Maybe it’s because of Justin…

“Yeah. Courtney called and reminded me. I’m with Justin at home,” I respond in my sad voice. Only it’s not so sad anymore. It’s still sad, but not terribly so.

“Damn her. She shouldn’t have said anything. Then you would have been happy all day. I can hear that sad voice and it makes me sad too.” Carrie sighs softly and I can practically hear her run her hand over her face. “Do you need me to come over? Can I do anything today?”

I look back at Justin in the kitchen, and he’s watching the microwave heat up our food. I can hear him humming to himself, like the cute dork he is. I don’t need Carrie today. I have the only person I need with me today.

“I have Justin. I think you can do your Carrie things without worrying today, alright?” I turn away and smile softly to myself, glad that I can finally let Carrie relax on this day.

“Are you sure babe? I mean, come on, the nightmares, and you probably don’t want him to see you cry.” She’s joking, I can tell. But she gets it. I just need Justin, and she’s okay with that. I can hear that in her voice. She’s still a little worried, sure, but she understands.

“I’m gonna go eat with Justin and cuddle with him and relax. He’ll keep me awake. Love you, sister.”

“From another mister. Love you too, babe. Just ring me if you need me, yeah? I’ll rush over any time.” Carrie hangs up and I smile down at my phone. She’s such a good friend… What would I do without her?

“You ready to eat?” Justin asks not too long after Carrie hangs up, leaning on the entry way of the kitchen. He smiles softly, a cute smile that makes me grin. I nod and make my way into the kitchen, ready for some real food. I mean, yeah, the jelly was good, but it’s been a while. It’s almost time for the nightmares to take over my sleep.

We eat and make small talk, mostly me talking about James and I when he was alive. Like the time when he took me to the fair, and I didn’t want to go on the little rollercoaster they had. He managed to get me on, but it was with a lot of reluctance. I had a huge fear of heights back then, and I still do, just not as bad. Well, James told me he would be right beside me, and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me.

“He would tell me that all the time. When I first went to school, when I went out trick-or-treating, when I would head to the park; James was always there for me. He was the best… the best father a girl could have.” I look down at my food, taking a deep breath. “I just wish he was here, you know? To protect me from the horrors of being an adult. And Courtney wouldn’t have gotten engaged. She’d be happy with James, and he would know exactly what to do with Marcus. He would have been at my graduation, met Carrie, kicked Seth’s butt when he hurt me, arrested him, even, for the dog fights.

“He should be here so he can walk me down the aisle, so I can call him an old man when he has grandkids, to be there when he’s a hundred and I’m eighty. So I know that I’m ready. But that’s the thing: James is gone, and he’ll never hold his grandkids, and he’ll never meet you, and he’s never met Carrie, and his place beside me will be empty at my wedding. There are so many things I wish he could have been here for. He promised he would never let anything bad happen to me as long as he was around.

“But he’s gone, and bad things have happened since. Seth, Marcus just keeps getting worse, I never even went to prom, Courtney’s getting married and acting like she’s… just replacing him, and every year, I go through the same trauma. I remember what happened, and it killed me inside. I’ve always been with Courtney and Marcy and Carrie when this day came around, you know? But, now I’m with none of them.” Justin sets his fork down and begins to say something, probably about the fact that I can go or talk to them in I want, but I press on.

“The thing is: I have you in my life right now. And yeah, I would love to have my siblings and Carrie and my mother, but I don’t need them. I only need you. Yes, I’m considerably more depressed than I usually am, but you’re handling that very well. You’re helping me better than any of them could. Because instead of telling me everything’s going to be okay, you tell me what I should have. All the happy things you believe I can have make me… it makes me believe I can have them, and it makes me so much better than I could be today.”

Justin smiles at me and I brush my hair away from my face, unsure about what else I should say. “The point is that I am glad you’re here instead of telling me that it’s stupid to be upset over this after all this time. Seth… He told me I shouldn’t be sad about it and he forced me to go out and watch him play some stupid card game with his friends.” I look up at this amazing guy I chose to say with instead of go off and hang out with Carrie and he smiles sadly right back.

“Well, he was wrong. It’s important that you have a way to vent and feel better about what happened to James. I’m always here to listen whenever you want to talk about him,” Justin tells me, picking his words carefully as he speaks. It’s not like he’s trying to step around a fragile girl and keep her from breaking. He’s trying to help me and keep me whole.

After the emotional dinner, Justin and I decide to call it a night, except I really just don’t want to sleep. At least, not by myself, not again this year. So after we’re both dressed in our pajamas, meaning him in sweatpants and without a shirt and me in my usual tank top and shorts, I stop him from making his couch into his bed.

“Jenny, we both need to sleep,” he smiles, gently trying to remove his hands from his arm. I grip his arm harder and I look at him with desperate eyes.

“Please, sleep in your bed with me tonight. I can’t… I can’t sleep alone tonight. I have nightmares, and I always end up…” I feel my grip weaken as the nightmares practically flash before my eyes. The dreaded nightmares… They always seem to surprise me even though I know they’re coming. Justin wraps his arms around me and gently kisses my temple.

“Sure. Let’s go.” He releases me, but he gently takes my hand when I don’t follow. I look up at him and I smile sadly. He’s really trying to make me happy…  I follow him back to his bedroom and we get under the covers.

It feels like it’s been years since I’ve cuddled with Justin. I forgot that I fit perfectly beside him, that his arm reaches over my waist and it’s perfect. I forgot that he likes to kiss my head occasionally whenever he feels like it. I forgot that our legs just get tangled as we lie together.  And most importantly, I forgot how perfect it feels to just cuddle with my boyfriend.

This past month, it’s like we’ve been strangers sharing a house. But in one moment of need, something just clicked or it changed in the best way possible. I feel like I have my boyfriend back, completely and not just outside the house, but even when we’re alone together. And I’m really glad that I have Justin back with me.

“I’m always here, okay? Always. Just sleep, and if you’re having a bad dream, I promise I’ll wake up.” He kisses my head like he does and I feel his hand on top of mine, his thumb gently running over the back of it. The gentle motion sooths me and I smile softly as I drift away into sleep.

*~*~*~

I walk down the street with Courtney, and she’s taller than me. That’s weird. I look at our hands, which are clasped together, and my hands are small and a bit chubby. Something seems odd. Something seems very odd…

“Now, baby, we’re going to see Daddy. He’s at the station, waiting to see you,” she tells me in a strange tone, one that you would use to speak to young children. Wait a minute… Child, chubby hand, Courtney’s taller.

It’s that dream.

But I can’t do anything about it. I have to continue on because that’s how this works. That’s how this is acted out.  I have to follow the path I am given here.

“Daddy’s there! Really?!” I ask in a squeaky, childish voice. I’m ten. This is when I was ten, just a little kid. Courtney was Mom or Ma, but James… He was always Daddy. Never Dad or Dada… Just Daddy. Because I was his princess. I was Daddy’s one and only.

“Yeah, baby, and he’s okay. He can’t wait to see you. He hasn’t seen you for months.” Courtney smiles and squeezes my hand, using the other to brush my hair down. That orange hair that I loved. I still love it, but I haven’t seen the color since October.

I squeal like a little girl, and I am, at least right now, in this dream. I can’t even pull myself out of it, or else it will continue from where I left off. I jump occasionally pulling on my mother’s hand, anxious to see Daddy. I was so close to seeing him. Maybe we could make that castle out of the boxes in my closet!

My mother screams as I’m pulled from her, and I watch as a man in black, his face blurred, grabs her as well, punching her to quiet her. They pull us into an alley, and I scream and kick, wailing for Courtney or Daddy. But neither can come to my aid. Because James isn’t around, and my mother is being forced on her knees, a bandana tied and stuffed in her mouth. The same red bandana…

“This is a message to James Plymouth. You don’t screw with us,” I hear a man say in a gruff voice, and I hear a can of spray paint being used. They put it on the wall, I know. I keep wailing and crying, trying my best to get away as one of the blurred-faced men pulls out a gun.

And I know that gun all too well…

I’m forced on my knees too, and a red bandana is my gag. I keep crying though, but I can’t move because one of the men has my hands behind my back.

“We know who you are. And your death is going to kill James more than we ever could,” the man wielding the gun tells us, and I can hear a smirk in his voice. I can’t see it because I have never known who did it, so I never saw his face. His face can never haunt my dreams.

That’s one thing I am thankful for. But this, this nightmare, is what I fear could have happened…

He aims the gun at my mother and pulls the trigger. The deafening sound causes me to scream, though it’s muffled because of the red bandana. I watch my mother collapse, and the blood pools out of the hole in her head. So much blood… I almost get sick from the sight. I can’t smell it, because that’s the thing about dreams; you only have the sense of sight and hearing.

The man turns to me, and I can imagine the sick smile on his face, the one that would make my stomach knot and that wound make me know he wouldn’t let me go. He wouldn’t decide that I’m just a little girl and that he couldn’t kill me. Oh, no, he’s ready to kill me. Because he’s a murderer. And murderers aren’t merciful; they care about nothing but themselves.

“Say hello to James for me,” I hear before the trigger is pulled as the gun points at my forehead.

*~*~*~

“Jenny, wake up!” I hear, and I open my eyes, my breathing ragged and shaky. I can feel my throat is raw, and tears stream from my eyes. That nightmare. Every year, that nightmare plays over and over again, ravaging me with more pain and suffering I could ever go through. I choke out a sob before wrapping my arms around Justin, holding him tighter that I need to. But I have to make sure he’s real, and the red bandana is gone, and that I’m alive with the guy that is my boyfriend.

Justin holds me tightly, rocking me back and forth. He’s holding onto me like he’s never going to let me go. I press my face into his neck and sob silently, trying to calm down, trying to relax. Just anything to get me to stop crying. I know he’s worried, but I can’t even speak right now. Not after that nightmare.

After I don’t know how long, I’m done crying, but I don’t let go. I still can’t believe it, that I’m out of the nightmare. It just doesn’t seem real right now.

Justin pulls away and gently takes my face in his hands. He presses his lips against mine, and I think this is the first actual kiss we’ve ever had while I’ve been in this house with him. His lips are pressed hard against mine, like he’s afraid I’ll disappear. I kiss him back with the same urgency, and the longer we kiss, the more I remember he’s real. That he’s here with me, and that I’m gonna be okay now that I’m awake and I’m with him.

I pull away first, and I rest my forehead on his bare shoulder. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to calm down again.

“I thought you were dying,” I hear from Justin, feeling one hand on my back and the other running over my hair. “You were crying and screaming. I tried to wake you up but… you wouldn’t wake up and you scared me to death. God, Jenny, please, never again. Don’t put me through that again…”

“I did. I was dreaming that Courtney and I died instead. And there was that stupid red bandana. James carried it with him everywhere, because I bought it for him for his birthday with my allowance I got. They used it to gag him and then they killed him. Just like that used them on us in the dream. I just… I can’t go this night without having the dream.”

“We’ll figure it out. I’m here for you.” He pushes my head up gently and kisses me again. “Sleep, please. Dream about something happy, like Marcy or Carrie or me or chocolate or whatever makes you happy. Because you deserve nothing less than to be happy.” Justin smiles at me, a smile that holds something I don’t know what it is… But it’s the sweetest smile I have ever seen from him.

“Thank you.” I lie down, but he stays sat up, gently resting my head into his lap. He brushes hair from my face, humming softly as I slowly drift off to sleep once again.

*~*~*~

I wake up with a soft yawn, curled up next to a very muscular boyfriend. He must have fallen asleep after I did, and now we’re cuddling. I look up at Justin and I smile at how peaceful he looks. It’s true what they say about people when they sleep, because he looks younger, and definitely more handsome. His face is softer, relaxed, and he just looks so cute.

I close my eyes and curl closer to my boyfriend, wanting and needing to fall asleep again just so I can dream about us again.

When I fell asleep the second time, I started dreaming about Justin and I. He and I were going on a date, but it was the best. And he asked me to marry him, and I said yes. But that was only a dream. It’s not like it would ever happen. Right?

I feel Justin pull me closer to him and I know he’s awake. I open my eyes to see him smiling down at me, his eyes half open. He presses a kiss to my forehead, and when he goes to kiss my lips, I turn away, giggling softly.

“No, I have morning breath!” I complain, pouting slightly. I do, and it’s not like I don’t want him to kiss me. But morning breath is definitely unattractive. Justin gently takes my face in his hands and gently pulls my face to look up at him.

“So do I. So let it mingle.” He winks and I giggle, and he kisses me. It’s a sweet, gentle kiss, but a kiss all the same. And it makes me feel more awake that tea ever could. I practically melt into this guy that I dearly like, and when we finally pull away, he slips from underneath the covers. “I’ll make breakfast. Go take a shower, lovely.” Justin smiles and walks out of the bedroom, and I lie there for a moment, looking after him.

I check my phone and I spot a couple texts, one from my mother and one from Carrie. Both ask the same question: Did you make it through the night alright?

I text back three simple sentences before heading to the bathroom: I had Justin. He took care of me. I’m perfectly fine.
*~*~*~
I loved writing this chapter. It's shorter than the last, but it's cute and I really wanted to do a chapter about loss, and I really thought about how I wanted to do this chapter. It was difficult for me to write because I've never experienced loss, but I thought about what would happen if I lost my dad, and these feelings came along, not including the nightmares.

So, let e know what you think. If you want me to wall you and I have done done so before, let me know.

Thanks for waiting up!

 

Sorry I haven't updated in a billon years (a few weeks) but I have total writer's block.I haven't started on the next chapter yet because I don't know where I want to go with it yet.

So! Let me know if you want to see a date night, a girl's night with Carrie, Jenny and Jason's birthday, meeting more of Jason, or, if you've read the original, should I keep going down my usual path?

Also, on an interesting note, I just met this guy Justin a couple weeks ago. He's funny and adorable and very good looking. I mean, damn. He's so... Ugh. Well, anyway, he want to be a veterinarian after college. Sound familiar?! Justin here and Justin my life seem similar. It's such a coincidence. I love it.

Also, I'm writing a thing in English that's about Carrie and a haunted house thing. It's pretty fun to write, and I'll probably post it here after I finish the book.

And my English teacher is gonna read this story! So exciting!

Okay, that's all. Just let me know what you'd like to see.

 

I'm sorry it's taking so long, but it if makes you feel better, I am working on it. During study hall especially. I am getting back in the groove of things. Promise.