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Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Rhetorical, May 28, 2014.
I've already told you no.
Pardon me, but I don't read any comments except for the actual story. I never do.
I actually love this okay
I inched forward only to fall face-first into the small fox-hole of a room. Luckily, it wasn't that far of a fall, and both the walls and floor was covered by soft pink insolation. At least it looked pink in the colored light that bathed the entire fox-hole in different hues of red.
I stood up, balancing myself on the uneven floor. "Pike's Headquarters" was just a completely trashed dugout in-between walls, so naturally the room was much longer than wider. In fact, I could've extended one arm to touch opposite walls without any trouble at all. Stolen pots, clothing, sheets and a complication of other missing items laid scattered across the floor and piled in the corners. If I had stumbled upon the place by myself, I would've thought a raccoon lived here instead of my own wayward brother.
"So what do you think?" Pike boasted, as if that mess was something to be proud of. I noticed he was hunched forward, his lanky figure too tall for the partially caved-in ceiling. "I fell in here a couple years ago. The only way you can access it is crawling in through the drop ceiling. Or kicking through the drywall, I suppose."
A quiet and unconvinced "I suppose," was all I could muster. Good hiding place or not, this was the definite living space of a teenage boy.
"Sorry for the mess. I couldn't really find any storage." He quickly made up for the disaster. He must've sensed my apprehension.
I nodded silently. I stretched my arm across the room and laid the tips of my fingers on the drywall, attempting to look distracted.
Pike slumped down on a nest of multicolored sheets. "We can just settle down here for a little while. At least until dusk." He threw one of his sheets at me. "So make yourself at home. No need to be so uneasy."
I stumbled forward in an attempt to catch the airborne sheet. It slipped through my fingers and landed on the floor. "Sorry," I muttered as I bent over to pick it up. Pike merely rolled his eyes.
Ooh wall me when updated again, please
r u srious
Of course I'm serious! I've been waiting for updates
Oh, I'm so sorry... I just realized you aren't doing walling. I always forget, since I'm not on often.
I spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of a sluggish sleep. The soft ground and sheet was incredibly comfortable compared to the hardwood floor I was so used to, but Pike snored more loud than anyone I had ever heard.
"Wakey, Wakey!" I felt a violently shaking hand on my shoulder, which jolted me awake.
"What?" I mumbled, yawning before opening my eyes. Like was kneeled beside me, both hands stretched and curled around my shoulders. A lime green bandana wrapped loosely around his forehead and redirected his brilliant red hair upward.
"It's night time. Time to recruit," He declared, his face stretched into an almost maniacal smile. I reached up to run the fatigue from my eyes.
"What?" I repeated myself, genuinely confused.
"We're recruiting other soloists tonight. Get up," He rephrased his words. I sat up, pushing the thin sheet from my body.
"You mean Night Owls?" I yawned, weary from the day of safe, unsatisfying sleep. Pike laughed, his body shaking with every breath.
"You call us Night Owls?" He giggled, wiping away forming tears.
"Yes," My voice weakened with uncertainty. It was just a term I came up with to differentiate ourselves from the other lifestyles.
"Perfect," He chuckled. Although the line itself sounds sarcastic, I could not sense a shred of sarcasm in his voice. The only emotion I heard was genuine and pleasant amusement. "And what do you call the others? You know, the ones in the teams?"
I shrugged, "Daylight siblings, I suppose," I responded. I didn't come up with a fancy name for the more diurnal of my siblings. Morning Larks didn't fit as Night Owls did. That would assume they were awake only during the morning. However, their un-bird-like presence lingers from dawn to dusk. And plus, in the world of birds, owls tend to be slightly more threatening than larks. That was definitely not the case between my siblings.
(Ugh, so many typos in that last update (/).0) Pike* Rub*)
Pike and I were crawling through the ventilation once more. Pike was in front this time, leading me by a string. It was still very dark. I marveled at Pike's memorization of what was possibly the entirety of the building's crawl space.
We crawled for a good hour or two, making various twists and turns. I gripped onto my end of the string as though my life depended on it; I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to safely make it out alive if I lost Pike.
"Are we almost there?" I whispered under my breath. I was answered by a yes and we continued.
We stopped only when Pike halted over a crack of light. Naturally, I bumped into him with a soft "ow!", as he did nothing to warn me.
"Shh!" He urged. I crawled up next to him, trying to get a look into the room below. It was an empty bedroom with a maroon carpet and two twin beds. Pike stared into the room intently, looking around for something or someone.
"Stay here," He commanded before turning around. "And I'm borrowing your rifle." I felt a slight tug at my back. Pike carefully unhooked the rifle from its strap and backed into the darkness. I waited for a while, peeking into the room below. When I got a close look, it was obvious that the room had been lived in. Some wrappers here, a faded food stain there, clothes neatly stacked and hidden on top of a tall wardrobe.
Bang. The sound of a rifle echoed from the hallway; my rifle, to be exact. What was Pike doing? I heard a slight squeak from inside the wardrobe.
I heard footsteps from the hallway before long.
"What's up with the nightly gunshots?" Karne asked, exhausted from running.
"Conflict between the Nightlies?" A boyish voice responded.
"No, they're too mellow for that," Brennan rebounded.
"Unless it was Pike," Karne guessed correctly.
"Well, by the looks of it, no one was shot this time either." Brennan remarked.
"Pst, Aïlis," Pike reappeared next to me, like a ghost. "Aïlis up here." The door of the wardrobe opened. Out stepped Aïlis, her denim dress wrinkled and hair unbrushed.
"This really isn't the time, Pike," She whispered with a hint of urgency. She looked up through the crack in the ceiling tiles. My sister stayed connected to the wardrobe, weary of the Daylight Siblings still outside the door.
"They're probably going to look in here."
"I know," she hissed.
"Come up here, then," Pike suggested. I could tell he was waiting for that moment to propose Aïlis's "lucky" escape. Aïlis looked around the room, searching for an alternative option. After deciding it was her only escape, she eyed the door. On the other side of which, the group of Daylight Siblings were still mumbling amongst themselves.
"Fine, but only until they leave," Aïlis caved. Pike replied with a sort of excited squeal before extending an arm into the room. Aïlis grabbed his wrist and pulled herself up into the ceiling.
"Hi," I gave a weak welcome, announcing my presence.
"Who's that?" Aïlis inquired, as she was still in the process of pulling her legs into our crawl space. Her eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness quite yet, and neither had mine compared to the amount of time I'd spent in the darkness.
"Mara," I croaked. My sister replied with a short, disappointed "oh." Most of the light disappeared as Aïlis beached onto the ceiling tiles.
"What did you do, Pike?" She continued in a whisper, danger audible in her voice.
"I didn't do anything," Pike defended himself against her accusation, "In fact, I saved her from Brennan's team."
Aïlis scowled, eyeing our undependable brother.
This is cool. More please.
Actually really good. Will be checking for updates
Damn you have been working on this for a long time. Keep it up playa
Daylight Siblings had filtered into the room below us before long. I watched them through the small crack in the tiles. There were less of them this time; only three had arrived. There was Brennan, of course, and along with him were Karne and Grant. Each one of them held firearms. My breathing became ragged as fear crept through me.
"You sure you heard something in here?" Karne questioned Grant, who was in the process of checking the wardrobe.
"Well, there's definitely been someone here," Grant shifted through Aïlis's belongings. He threw a thin quilt onto the floor, scattering the miscellaneous items that laid on top of it.
I jumped slightly when I felt the barrel of my gun touch my arm.
"Here you go," Pike said under his breath. I slid my hand over to the leather strap and carefully lifted it out of Pike's arms. The rifle made a soft thud as it landed onto the tile, suspended by the strap. I cursed my luck.
"Did you hear that?" Brennan noticed my fumble. The other Daylight Siblings nodded. Brennan reached up and lifted the ceiling tile.
"No, it came from more over here!" Grant announced, too short to reach the ceiling tiles beside the wardrobe.
"Go," Pike urged. All three of us turned and ran as fast as we could on our hands and knees, careful not to make any noise that would give our position away. I landed nose-first into many turns during my getaway.
I heard shouts from the three as they searched the ceiling for us. Footsteps confirmed they had called for reinforcements. Lucky for us, we had made our way out of the perimeter of the room long before they arrived.
"Aïlis, not so fast!" I whimpered after we had made considerable distance. Her long legs carried her much faster than my stubby ones. Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about Pike, as he had lagged behind me.
She appeared to be making random turns, as I could hear her run into them sometimes. She was as uncoordinated as I was in the crawl space. She stopped when she heard my plea.
"Sorry," She breathed.
"Let's stop for a bit," Pike suggested from behind me. "There's an empty room near."
Neither Aïlis nor I was lively enough to object. I had just rested, but it certainly did not feel like it.
I'm really loving this story!