ㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡㅡ I walk the hallways proud and fine. I brush off the feeling of heartbreak. How could I cry just because of that? How idiotic. I walk by William and his friend, Carson. I glare at him and smile at Carson. Let's see! I promise I'll let you beg for me. I smirk. Another period has pass and I just realise that Carson is a classmate of mine in algebra. As the teacher dismiss us, I walk to him and smile, he was gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as William. "Hi." I say. He looks at his back and looks back at me, "Are you talking to me?" I smile sweetly and nod. "U-uh... Hi." "What's your next class?" I ask. "Music." "I'll see you there." I wink at him and walk away. Thank you God, I can begin my revenge little by little. William, you will pay. I don't deserve to be hurt like this. As I went to my locker to grab my violin, I see Carson beside me. He was shaking in nervousness. I giggle, "What's up?" He smiles charmingly, "Wanna walk with me?" Please. Your smile doesn't have any effect on me. I flip my hair and close my locker, "Sure." We make our way through music and I see William eyeing us. It was fun to watch. He looks jealous. But, how can he be jealous when he doesn't even... like me...? Damn, those words pierces my heart. Or could it be... he has an attraction towards Carson. I laugh at my thoughts. It couldn't be. He shows too much guys sights of him. But he doesn't have a girlfriend. Ugh. Stop thinking about it. Carson opens the door to music and there I see a person I never expected to see... Mr. Chan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I slowly walk in with such look in my eyes. What was HE doing here?! All these thoughts were yelling through my mind, annoying me in any ways possible. I make my way to the back of the class, awkwardly. I sit down, as if I was doing it in slow motion, but that wasn't the case. I caught my fathers eyes and he smirked at me. Oh god what was he planning?! Carson sits next to me. I watch as the class starts piling up and stare at every one of them, hoping to avoid Mr. Chan's eyes. I turn my attention back to Carson, who was practically drooling over me. I smile at him and he blushes so much, it looks like he ate something really spicy. I turn back to see Mr. Chan writing on his board. "Hello class. I'm Mr. Chan, your substitute teacher for the next 2-3 weeks." he says in a warm tone. That was fake, but it felt so realistic. I take a quick glance at Carson, who was inhaling and exhaling slowly. God he was such a dimwit. I sighed and place the violin under my chin and read the notes. I nod and waited for my cue. There was about 3 violin players in my music class and I was the head of them. I place my bow on the strings lightly. I look up and see Mr. Chan give me the sign. I slowly pull down my bow, adding a little drama into it. As I did a few more moves, the other violins joined me until everyone was playing the song. I peer over to Carson, who was playing the saxophone and to be honest, he was playing it like a pro. I look away and focus on my notes. I was aiming to perfect it. As minutes passed, Mr. can stops us abruptly. He walks towards me and stops right at my way. "Miss Robyn. You're rushing. Awful. Do it again and this time, JUST ZARINA." He says forcefully. He knew I hate being the attention in music. I glare at him and clear my mind. I start to play a tune slowly and it develops into something bigger. As the bell rang, I quickly grab my things and rushed out the door, bumping into a firm chest. I look up to see William. Oh cheese and crumpets. He looks down at me and smiles. I turn my hear away and scoot myself away from him, unluckily managing to back up onto Carson. My bad luck just went high. I sway my way out and ran to my next class. Time flew by fast because before I knew it, It was time to go. I sigh and take the things out of my locker and step out. I grab my keys and unlock my car, where there was kids around it. FUDGE CAKES! I make my way through the crowd who was in awe. Some people were praising me amour my car. I hop in and wait for kids to get out of the way. They didn't. I don't mind running over a few bodies.... I honk and they courteously move out the way, I may say. I immediately drove out my spot and drove out really fast. As I arrive from my school, I see Mr. Chan hasn't arrive. I walk in the spacious mansion and walk up to my room. I took a quick shower and rushed to change into pajamas. I felt a fever coming in and that's not good. I sigh and cuddled into my comfy bed. I feel my eye lids getting heavier and heavier until I was fully asleep. I felt someone hover above me. Maybe it's just Mr. Chan. I open my eyes to see a masked man. Crap.
??????'s POV I can't believe that girl is so secretive, now I have to make a housecall! I haven't made one ever in the history of me working as the top investigater for slater. I hope I'm not out of practice, but no time for doubt now. I move among the rafters, a shadow, as a precaution I pull my mask up and check to make sure my dual swords are still attached to my back, suddenly, I am looking at..... Chan! This girl stayed with Chan! Jonathon's gonna love this, then agian, I hate slater, he needs to be knocked down a peg, plus this girl was too cute to kill, maybe I'll just test her skills, she could be usefull..... I drop down from the rafters inside of the zarina's room and complete my prayers for her death as I always did for those I kill. I won't hold back, but to make it fair I will use my barehands unlease she grabs a weapon first. It was time to test her skills. Time to see if she was strong enough to withstand my attacks. I stand over her and send a controlled punch aimed at her neck that would kill her, if she didn't roll over and dodge my attack. I see her eyes that felt like they were staring into my very soul as she says "So, trying to kill me are you?I won't go easy on you." as she finishes her leg shoots out from under her bed sheets and nearly catch me off gaurd with her extremly strong kick that I manage to block as she rolls off the end of the bed with her training cloths already on, I was personaly expecting a night gown or something, but this was much, much better. She punched, I blocked and made a jab back at her, this went on for what felt like days until she asked "Who sent you? Why me?" mimicing Chan's voice perfectly I reply "I did love, and you have been on my list for a while" "Cha....Chan?" she said dropping her gaurd as I expected. I took the opertunity to spin as if to kick but instead triping her, as she fell I used my left hand to hold her up as if we were doing the salsa dip, however the other hand was aimed at an important neck vein that would have her choking on her own blood. Everything was going fine until Chan walked in holding a throwing knife. "Until next time love," I say stoping the Chan accent and this time sounding like Slater as I let go of her and crash through the glass that was the window and landed on the roof next to her cursing my weakness for her and at the same time hoping she understood the message I had just tried to send her.
Here comes my criticism. 1) You should ALWAYS proofread. 2) A paragraph contain 5 sentences. 3) When people are talking, do this: "Blah Blah Blah." Says Blah. (Unless someone was responding to whatever that was saying, make another paragraph...If That narrows it down.)