~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~ After Cameron left I laid down in my bed, trying to make sense of it all. Thinking about it all. What was I suppose to think? This all seems so unreal, but I believe him. •••••••• Ashley's Point Of View •••••••• I heard Cameron tonight. I think he was drunk. Talking about some invitation from Heaven and stuff. I wonder how much he drank. Maybe I was dreaming. I don't remember falling asleep anyways. Yeah, um, I was dreaming... •••••••• Back To The Story •••••••• Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! "Man, what the fuck?" I said sleepily. I reached over to my bed-side table, and turned my alarm clock off. I looked at the time. "3:00? I don't even have to wake up until 7:00!" After laying in my bed for 30 more minutes I got out of bed, and put on my jogging shorts and a sports bra. I went outside my door, and realized it was freezing, so I turned around and went back inside. I ran upstairs to my room and grabbed a hoodie. When I got back outside I saw someone walking down the road. I ignored it and took off jogging. Soon the person ran up to me and grabbed my arm. "What the...?" "What are you doing out here? It's not safe. Not by yourself. Not now that you know what I am." He grumbled I realized it was Cameron. "I could ask you the same question." replied. "I'm being serious Keely." He said. "Okay. I'll go, but first tell me why your out here." I asked. "I decided since I'm your guardian angel now I would check on you in the mornings. I was going to walk to your house to see if you we're still sleeping, and when I got there you weren't. I started looking for you because I was worried." he stated. I grinned. "Thanks for worrying about me." I reached up on my tippy-toes and gave him a kiss. "Walk me back home?" I asked. "I'd be happy to. Need a ride to school too?" He asked. "Sure. You can just stay over at my house while I get ready."I replied. "Delightful." He grinned. When we got to my house Ashley was already up. I walked into the kitchen and she sat there at the dinner table. "Morning." I said. "Whatever." She said rolling her eyes, and walking up to her room. "Well, that went perfect." I said to Cameron. "It's okay. You go get ready ill be waiting for you right here." He said "Okay. I'll be ready in 30 minutes top!" I replied running upstairs. •••••••• Ashley's Point Of View •••••••• Of course. She comes back with her stupid jerk boyfriend. I can't believe he had refused to let me in his house last time. I will make him want me, and when he finally wants me I'll shut him off. Just like he did me. ~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~ I ran upstairs and started the water for my shower. I ran across the hall to my room to get extra clothes and realized Cameron was sitting on my bed. "Hey." I said grinning. "I've only been in your room once. I like it." He sounded sad. I couldn't understand why. "Well, stay in here while I get ready, that way Ashley can't bug you either." He chuckled "Of course." I ran over to my closet and grabbed my black high top converses and a flowing yellow blouse, and my black ripped skinny jeans. I ran back into the bathroom, laid my clothes on the counter, and jumped into the shower. After, my shower I got dressed, and heard Ashley screaming. I ran out of the bathroom to my room. She was standing right there at the door yelling at Cameron. "Why her?! I'm so much better! I could live you more than she ever would." she screamed. "Ashley please just get out. I love Keely, not you." Cameron replied. "Screw you!" she yelled. Ashley turned around to see me standing there and yelled "What bitch?!" I rolled my eyes at her "Oh nothing, your just trying to steal my boyfriend, hoe." I yelled back. "I hate you!" she screamed running to her room. •••••••• Cameron's Point Of View •••••••• I never thought Keely would hear her screaming. Ashley kept going on and on about how I should leave Keely for her. That's not gonna happen. I would never do something so stupid. I would never hurt Keely either. I wouldn't be able to bear the pain it would cause me. Ashley will just have to find someone else to toy with. •••••••• Ashley's Point Of View •••••••• Ugh! I hate him! I hate her! I hate everyone! Why can't he see I'm good enough for him? Is he that ridiculous? Is he that stupid? Is he that insecure? I can't believe him. He has to be lying. He madly in love with me. I can tell. He just won't admit it, but when he does I'm making sure its right in front of Keely's face. No more happy endings for her. •••••••• Back To The Story •••••••• "You love me?" "Oh course I do Angel." I could feel tears coming to my eyes. "Keely, what's wrong?" Cameron asked. "No one's ever told me that before." I replied. Cameron stood up and walked over to me, and took my hands. "Well, then everyone is stupid." He replied. I kissed him and he kissed me back. Next thing I knew we were on my bed. His mouth crushed mine hard, like he had been waiting for this forever. I kissed him with every inch of my being, but still it wasn't enough. He started to undo my blouse, and I tackled him to his back. "To far?" he asked. "Just a little." I replied grinning. ~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~ We made our way outside to my car. "Want me to drive?" Cameron asked. I shrugged my shoulders, "Sure." I said, tossing him the keys. "Cameron?" "Mhmm?" "Why'd you seem so sad this morning?" I asked. "I'm afraid to lose you. I've fallen in love with you, and I'm afraid I'll do something stupid and lose you." he replied. "Cameron, you'll never lose me." We made it to school and right when we get there Amber (A.K.A biggest whore in school) makes a scene. "Oh my God! It's Keely and her super sexy boyfriend Cameron!" Next thing I know she's hugging all on my boyfriend, laughing in my face. I looked at Cameron and next thing I knew Amber was on the ground. "Why'd you push me off you?!" Amber screamed at Cameron. "I have a girlfriend, hoe." Cameron replied calmly. Then out of nowhere Amber starts crying and saying "I'm not a hoe!" and runs into the school building. Everyone starts starting at Cameron, and he just shrugs and we go down the hallway laughing. "I hate school", I thought to myself. "I have to wait all day to see my boyfriend." I wait and wait and wait. The hours seem like days without him. Finally, 7th period begins. Cameron makes his way into the room and sits by me. "Hey." he says grinning, and planting a kiss on my forehead. "Hi." Every time I saw him by heart would skip a beat. I just couldn't help it. Finally, school ends and Cameron brings me home. I sit on the couch thinking about my life. My dad comes to mine. -------- Flashback -------- "Daddy! Catch me!" I'd yell. "I'm gonna get you my little Keely!" my father would yell back. "You'll never catch me Daddy!" I'd giggle. I would always hide behind the apple tree, in my back yard, by the swing set. My father would act as if he couldn't find me and I'd poke him and run until he'd catch me. -------- End Of Flashback -------- I also thought about how after my dad died my best friend, Joshua, moved away. -------- Flashback -------- I sit in my room crying. I've locked the door. I don't want to see anyone. I don't want to talk to anyone. My father is gone and I can never get him back. "I miss you daddy." I would mumble as tears fell down my cheeks. "Keely? Open the door. It's me Joshua." "Joshua?" I asked. "Yes. It's me. Let me in." I walked to the door and as soon as he walked in the tears came many more. He pulled out a handkerchief, "Please, no more crying. Everything will be fine." Joshua begged. "Fine?! Fine?! My father is gone and is never coming back and you expect me to be okay with it?!" I yelled in anger. "I'm sorry. I'm selfish. I came to tell you I'm moving, but I promise you I will return to you one day." "Moving? As in away?" "Yes, but I will return I promise.", and with that he kissed me and went away. -------- End Of Flashback -------- Knock! Knock! Knock! "I'll get it." I said. "Okay." Cameron replied. I went to open the door and there stood... "Joshua...?" ~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~
I really like your story. ^.^ It kinda seems like you get a lot of your ideas from Twilight, though. I would suggest maybe adding a twist, or more suspense, to make the readers want to keep reading, because the story seems to move a little quickly. Also, be careful with repetition. There are some paragraphs where every sentences starts with "I". But overall, great job! Bump! And this story is about meLol.
If you have any suggestions inbox me or post on my wall, not on my story page. Thanks. -Keely ~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~ "Joshua...? Joshua!" Joshua held his arms wide open and embraced me with a hug. "Oh my God! Where have you been?" I asked. "Here and there. See? I promised you I'd come back." Joshua replied. "Uh-um..." Cameron muttered. "Who's that?" Joshua asked. "Joshua, meet Cameron, my boyfriend. Cameron, meet Joshua, my best friend." "Nice to meet you." Joshua said, holding at his hand. "Yeah, you too." Cameron replied ignoring his hand. "Um, well, okay." Joshua, wanna go get lunch tomorrow? You know, catch up?" I asked. "Sure. Cameron, you wanna come too?" Joshua asked. "No. I'm fine. I'm pretty sure you two have a lot to catch up on." Cameron replied. "Okay. See you tomorrow Keely." "What was that all about? Jealous much?" I teased. "Yes. You know since I'm your guardian angel I can see everything you see, right?" Cameron asked "No. You must have skipped that part." I snapped back. "Well I saw him kiss you the day he left!" "Oh..." "Yeah..." "Cameron, it wasn't like that. I never had feelings for him. I don't have feelings for him now. I love you. Remember?" "Yes. I know, but just because you don't have feelings for him doesn't mean that he doesn't have feelings for you either." Cameron admitted. "Yes, I understand. I need to understand that no matter what happens I will only love you, Cameron." •••••••• Joshua's Point Of View •••••••• He's a fallen angel. I could feel it. The power coming from his body. He must know I'm a nephilim. Okay. Let me start over. I'm Joshua Evans. I'm Nephilim. Half human half angel. I was born when a fallen angel fell to earth and seduced my mother. Then I was born. I didn't find out until the age of sixteen I was a Nephilim. It's been 7 months. It's been Hell this whole time. •••••••• Cameron's Point Of View •••••••• Joshua. Joshua. Joshua. He stunk of Nephilim. I could smell him miles away. I have one piece of advice for him. Bathe. Oh, and one more. Keely is off limits. She's mine. No one else can have her unless its by her will. ~~~~~~~~ ________ ~~~~~~~~