One of the words I would describe your story here is wonderful. It is full of emotions, detail, and sometimes the nasty side of things we sometimes believe was beautiful. It is dark, it screams the truth for some people. It is quite original to an extent, of course. I love stories that sometimes have dark sides to it and not all happy and light. Dark emotions is what makes the reader feel the reading the most. You focus on her experiences in high school and how sometimes temptation can get the best of you and bites you in the butt. You write in a way certain people can relate to what's happening the main character. You also make the reader guess, yearning to know what other shitty thing has happened to the main character. What made me wonder about what happened to her was the part where she said, "He did the worst thing a man can do to a girl." when she thought about her cousin.(Excuse me if I didn't get it exactly right. Blame my horrible copy and paste skills.) Now, I have a few guesses and I bet others might also have the same guesses. And i'm rather sure I have it right, but I might be wrong. It could be a lesser or more severe than my guess. However, there were also at times I think some part of your story is predictable. Not exactly a bad thing, but i just thought to give you my two cents. Ignoring a few grammar and spelling mistakes, you had a great wordplay and wonderful unique voice that hooked me in. Your story, or a preview of it is definitely a good hook. If you continue writing, it could get publish, however if you would continue it, it's obviously heading toward a plot full of drama and sadness. I find it hard to write those, but you can probably pull it off. If you happened to decide to continue on with this story, and publish it, I bet it would be a hit. After all, us sadistic readers strive to read sad books filled with sadness, and pain. Sorry, if ramble a bit, it's just these are one of the fanfiction that makes me work my butt off to review it decently.
It was clear what you said. And thanks. I don't know if I could go further with writing the story or if it ends right there. The grammar and spelling I can fix. I may read over it a couple times and see what can be done to possibly improve it but I really appreciate your review. Thanks a bunch
Yeah very true. Perhaps junior and senior years could be added as long as I can get the transition from that ending to the Introduction to the next.
Thanks . That's the only way any of my storing turns out good. The more emotional I am as I write the better it is
If u still writting it can i be in ? Ill chabge up a bit Rosalinna , Rose , Rosy Black hair and brown eyes Has a locket shaped like a rose