Most openings start out mysteriously. Amazing Adam, I wanted to lend your character a hand! The story isn't random though, maybe it's just me, but it makes perfect sense. The one who was a "witness" who somehow stumbled into the murder scene, the killer who for some reason killed the girl and let him leave, and the drunk someone who we are waiting to see his influence on the story. But everyone wants to know who he is. Why is he so hurt? So far this story, is amazing. I am so happy to be working with such amazing writers!
I'm confused for now, hopefully all the updates'll come together and make sense later. It's good though. Just a tense change in the beginning. I think.....my Alzheimer's has arrived early >:0. The detailing is nice.
Thank you Royale! That's because it's different people in different time frames. I promise it will all come together! <3
Dying. Of. Excitement. This part will be the mysterious black haired women's POV. She was just lying there. Just looking at her, you could tell how scared she was, and how terribly sad. Strange thing was, her face had been cut up, almost in a creepy artistic way. Like the killer wanted to paint her face, and illuminate her beauty... Yes... you couldn't really make out her face but, I could tell she was very sad. I just could. An used syringe and a pair of gloves lay on the dresser next to her. I think that's what made her body go numb. The blanket was splashed on the floor along with the broken lamp and picture frame. Through the cracks, you could see a picture of a beautiful woman in a white floral dress hugging a man around the nape of his neck. The man held her by the waist; he wore a black button up shirt and a white checkered tie. His face was handsome and warmly pressed against hers. There smiles were brilliant, and their love was apparent. They looked so happy... As I thought about this, a stream of tears rolled down my cheeks, and I pressed my hand against my lips. The shattered glasses made me think of her life. How it had been broken and just... Left there to be thrown away. I wanted to put the blanket around her body, I wanted her to feel safe again... Footsteps. Just then the killer strides in the room. I couldn't see his face... I take a gulp and wait for him to turn around; my hand falls to my heart. Just then he starts to turn around, and the lights flicker around me. "AHHHHH!!!" I scream and grasp the soft cushion and hug it close to my chest. The feel of the silk material is rather comforting against my flesh. My eyes however, are wide with terror. The lights in the room flicker again and I jump up on the sofa in alarm. I hear a fresh batch of playful laughter from the fiend who flickered the lights. Almost immediately, the cushion flies out of my clenched fists and slams against his stomach. "J-Jack!" "Amy! Are you seriously scared of this bull ****?!" he throws his head back and laughs again, the sound ringing through my skull. "It's... scary." "It's not even a horror movie kid. It's a made up, stupid detective show." "That's the thing though!" I frown, "It's ...real Jack. Like you and... like me. Made of flesh and blood like us, and yet... they have no emotion. Can you believe people like this exist?" My eyes glance to the television, straight at the culprit, and then down to the carpet. I plop down and hold my knees tightly against my chest. "Jeez. This never actually happens to anyone." Jack shrugs and picks up the cushion, slugging towards me wearily. "That's not what they say!" I stubbornly point at the TV, and he pushes my arm down after blocking my view. "Who cares what the media says. It's just a way for them to scare people into paying the government more money and to make paranoid parents lock their kids at home." I roll my eyes and put my feet on the ground. "Where are you going?" he says as I take a grip of the sofa to balance myself into standing up. "I have to meet Jane." He smirks and blocks my path again. "Move, Jack!" "You aren't going to hug your brother?" I laugh and push him sideways on the sofa, then walk over to grab my trench coat on the hook and slip it on. "Dinners in the fridge okay?" I say sweetly, as I grab my white boots and pull them over my feet one after the other. I stand up and face him with a foolish grin on my face and yell out, "Love you Jackie!" I turn away and unlock the door, twist the knob and walk out. Closing the door behind me carefully. The last thing I hear him yell out is, "And Jackie loves you Amy!" I drank too much... I shouldn't have. I stagger and think to myself that Jane is much too good with words. I smile and look up at the sky, it looked as if someone was slowly dropping the curtain and hiding the light. A breeze flies past me. In response, I shiver and hug the trench coat tightly against me. I am a bit scared... Just then, my eyes refocus and I see a man with a heavy coat and navy jeans stride up to me and offer to walk me home. I hesitate, but he gives me the sweetest smile and I decide he has much too kind a smile to be someone scary. I nod slowly and follow his lead, and thank god secretly in my heart for sending someone to look after me. Sorry it's not too good! It's getting late, but also I apologize for the length. I got too into it and then decided to leave some parts out. Thank you very much for reading!
Agh! Love it! As you've already said, I love how you tie it all together. I can't wait for Toxic's post!
Very nice! I love it! But I shall add another POV, to excite the story more, but I shall start with the woman who found the body. I hope you enjoy it and I give luck to everyone! My apologizes for going asleep. I had been lying in that room, dead awake for at least 3 days and 4 eclipsing nights, as my dreams and nightmares clashed into the dying horror of my sudden memorization. Still haunting my breath, was the silent creaks of the woman's body, arms swaying, still, in the air, close to splitting in the clotted carpet that she could call her home forever. It made clear sense to me that she hadn't always wanted a way like this. Her coat was still hung up, waiting for its owner to snuggle with it some more, which saddened me with upmost comdemption. The species of us humans are distinctively designed to survive and thrive, but survival can take its menacing tolls. Relying on only our bare hands, we created this way of our life, living on currency, using computers, and making our way to even worse kinds of pain. I finally stood up, my legs shaking and my joints cracked, trying to give me a sense of mobility. My skin was now pale and scratched, by how my long fingernails dug into it as my arms were bloodied as well, my breaths getting shorter by each flick of deep anger. As I limped through the room, water didn't seem to appear nor food or water. Had this woman been robbed as well? Of food? Immensely strange. Then my mind finally catches up to me. It was drowning me down, attaching its massive arms to my body as I felt my throat still parched, had gone close to dust. I kept coughing loudly, but the heat in my body arose, making the swear out of me try to come out, but barely gave in, I was dying of thirst. My need for it was so strong. I rambled around the house, trying to see a signal toward some water, but my mind saw the blood. Blood. Human Blood. I was crying to myself, aching for that maybe someone would show up to hold me. Drink, her, blood?I sounded like the legion vampires of the damned. But I had no other choice. With the bare few attempts of strength I had, I took my hands and slurped the dry blood, but it hurt as it went down, for not drinking water and the dryness of the blood. I bet my throat was cut by it, my blood kept slipping from the sides of my mouth, probably warning me to have not drunk that, but I kept on. It finally fueled my thirst. But I kept crying while so, because I'd never believe to see me in this horrendous moment.Sometime I can't believe myself and the world with its amusing satisfied smile. Forgive. Me. Clank! Drip, drip. Clank! My mind rested on the case that lauded out in front of me, it was one of the worst cases I've ever seen in my work at the field of crime, and it was one of the most unexacting. Clank! It was the file of Savanna Detrice. Clank! Only at the age of 6, she casted out of her childhood and embellished where she now stands behind me, her back turned, waiting for immediate rescue. Clank! But my Job doesn't work that way. She may be a child, but her damage costs a greater damage. Seeing through her files, being the only child of a intense billionaire family couldn't seem to fix the picture. She looked delicate, as her blonde hair was below shoulder length, and she had the cutest dimples around, but that's just a picture. Clank! There Savanna rested, with her muzzle on, and wrapped in chained, her low, detaining breath echoing the cells of her imprisonment. She looked unleashed, but with her file, she wasn't ever leaving. Clank! This, where she rests, is in the Pentagon Asylum, located a few miles south from the city. In this facility, we contain the most cruel, horrendous, humans that humankind ever "supplied to us". Savanna's file was the one marked as "Complete Killer", where her black eyes matched from the faces from the others. Only few children came to the asylum, and we're usually cured. But she was been here since the age of 3, and still no sign of improvement, such a waste. Clank! Her head dropped as she muttered the words to me, in a childish voice,"When am I going home?" Clank! I just gave her a cold stare and she back off, her chains clanking. Clank! "Knock it off." Clank! Clank! Clank! "I said knock it off!" The clanking was uncontrollable. I finally stood up in my chair and yelled,"KNOCK IT OFF!" And then it stopped. Drip, Drip. And I slumped back in my seat. Then someone stormed in the room, swiftly, with a hand of papers. "Captain Jen! Jen! I have something you should see!"the man dropped the stack of blazing white paper, but with red splotches. I looked at him, blank,"Derek, what are these? And what is on the papers?" Derek sighed, nervously,"There has been more missing, many more, and the spots are blood, one of the nurse's blood when she tried to feed Savanna." He said the words like she was a demon. "I'll take a look."I said. Derek nodded and headed out of the room, while Savanna kept clanking. Clank! Clank! Clank! "Stop it!"I threatened. Then I heard the chains stop. I stood up and peeked to see her unchained, she broke free. I was in complete horror, the little criminal broke herself free from her chains, jacket, and muzzle at once. Her black eyes looked at me, deadly, and her smile curving. "Your not getting away, not after the 464 you left dead!"I sneered. She had killed 464 people, that's how deadly she was. But all was on a cruise, her family lived, apparently. So she got cooped up here, waiting for revenge. Drip. CLASH! And the walls of the asylum broke at the little girls hands, and she stepped out into the light, hissing, but enjoying the warmth, her smile gleaming wickedly, and I pressed the emergency lockdown button, but she was already off. I hurried to the entrance but she was nowhere in sight, and I felt horrible. On my watch. Then I came back, still angry, but managed to read a few of the papers Derek handed to me. "Huh."I said, sternly. The same criminal did the same things Savanna done. Look likes I have work to do. It's long, so I hope you enjoy the new Pov. And I can't wait for Royale!