Blonde Jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Jerk123123, Dec 6, 2013.

  1. Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

    The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

    To this, the other blonde replies "I know, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
     
  2. Lol don't judge, Mines are kinda Cheesy


    A blonde sits down for breakfast and picks up a box of CHEERIOS.. pours out a bowlful and says, "Oh Look Donut seeds!"

    ..ok got 2 more lol

    Why did the blonde girl jump off the empire state building? She thought her maxi pad had wings

    ......Last one

    A blonde dials 911 to report her car gas been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher " they've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, and even the accelerator! " She cries. The 911 dispatcher says "stay calm an officer is on the way. He will be there in 2mins" before the police gets to the crime scene. However the 911 dispatcher phone rings a 2nd time & the same blonde is on the line again. "Never mind" giggles the blonde " i was in the backseat"
     
  3. Lol, i should really turn my auto correct back on ?
     
  4. i like these! Share more 
     
  5. I used to know so many. I may have to resort to google.
     
  6. A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You S*** How many is a brazilian?"
     
  7. A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You S*** How many is a brazilian?"
     
  8. Wow. Double post fail. My bad
     
  9. Q:Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?



    A: You have to hollow out the head.
     
  10. A blonde went to the appliance store sale
    and found a bargain. "I would like to buy
    this TV," she told the salesman.
    "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he
    replied.
    The blonde was very angry about this.
    She hurried home and dyed her hair,
    then came back and again told the
    salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
    "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he
    replied.
    The blonde did not know how the
    salesman had recognized her. This time,
    she got a haircut and new color, a new
    outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited
    a few days before she approached the
    salesman.
    "I would like to buy this TV."
    "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he
    replied.
    Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you
    know I'm a blonde?"
    "Because that's a microwave," he replied.
     
  11. How do get a one handed blonde out of a tree?

    Wave
     
  12. There was a blonde in the forest walking on little Red Hiding hood's trail when she spots the bad wolf. She tells him, 'Hey bad wolf, I see you and I'm not scared!' So the wolf runs away, but a few minutes later she spots him hidden in the forest again and tells him, 'Hey bad wolf, I see you and I'm not scared!' So the wolf runs away again, but after a few minutes she spots him hiding behind a tree again, and yells to him 'Sorry wolfie, I still see you and I am not scared.' The wolf sighs, shakes his head and says 'Geez, is there no place I can go to the bathroom without you watching me?'
     
  13. A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian atthe desk

    "Can i get a cheeseburger, fries and a coke please"

    Librarian says

    "Uhh.. This is a library.."

    Blonde replies

    "Oh i'm sorry, (Can i get a cheeseburger, fries and a coke please)"
     
  14. There are 2 guys and a blond, their car falls apart in the desert..

    One of the guys says: "let's pick un the hood so well have some shade"

    The other guy helps and notices that the blond picked up a door and asks: "why the door?"

    The blond says: "if I get hot, I'll just role the window down"
     
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  16. Two blondes were in a car going to Disney.

    The sign said Disney left.

    So they went home 