Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't have to do crap for a Klondike bar.

Chuck Norris once peed on a tractor, it is today known as Optimus prime.

The extinct species are just animals that chuck Norris didn't like.

Chuck Norris once went golfing with a man and when the man checked the scoreboard he saw chuck Norris down with 0 hits for that round. He tried to educate chuck and tell him you need at least one hit to finish the course. Chuck Norris was in a good mood so instead of roundhouse kicking him, he dumped gasoline on him and burned him to death.

A blind man once stepped on chick norris's shoe. Chuck said "excuse me sir do you know who I am? I'm chuck fucking Norris." the mere mention of his name unblinded the man. Unfortunately the first, last, and only thing he ever saw was a swift roundhouse kick to the face.
 
As kids were taught not to talk to strangers... Strangers, as kids, are taught not to talk to Chuck Norris. 
 
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls fro Chuck Norris


Fear of spiders I arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is logic


Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number, you answer the wrong phone


Chuck Norris has already been to mars; that's why there are no signs of life there
 
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